Corny, but i Like
Jul. 31st, 2003 03:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7"Why God Never Received Tenure at Any University
1. He only had one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.
5. Some even doubt He wrote it Himself.
6. It may be true that He created the world, but
what has He done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time
replicating His results.
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for
permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover
it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, He
deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to
read the book.
13. Some say He had His son teach the class.
14. He expelled His first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most
students failed His tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually
held on a mountaintop."
1. He only had one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.
5. Some even doubt He wrote it Himself.
6. It may be true that He created the world, but
what has He done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time
replicating His results.
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for
permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover
it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, He
deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to
read the book.
13. Some say He had His son teach the class.
14. He expelled His first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most
students failed His tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually
held on a mountaintop."
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... in a simmilar vein...
Date: 2003-07-31 12:51 pm (UTC)And Simon Peter said, "Do we have to write this down?"
And Phillip said "Is this going to be on the test?"
And John said, "Would you repeat that, slower?"
And Andrew said, "John the Baptist's disciples don't have to learn this stuff."
And Matthew said, "Huh?"
And Judas said, "What's this got to do with real life?"
And then one of the Pharisees said, an expert in law, said, "I don't see any of this in your syllabus. Do you have a lesson plan? Where's the student guide? Will there be a follow-up assignment?"
And Thomas, who had missed the sermon, came to Jesus privately and said, "Did we do anything important today?"
And Jesus wept.
Re: ... in a simmilar vein...
Re: ... in a simmilar vein...
Date: 2003-07-31 02:15 pm (UTC)...also...
Date: 2003-07-31 12:52 pm (UTC)1. No Ph.D.
2. No publications.
3. Freely admits that he doesn't know anything.
4. Spends too much time at parties.
5. Wears a bedsheet and no shoes.
6. No set curriculum, no exams.
7. Will let anybody into his classes and doesn't charge for instruction.
8. Thinks teachers who take money for their instruction are immoral sophists.
9. No teaching experience.
10. Past retirment age.
11. Probably a deviant - says he likes young boys.
12. Suicidal tendency and a criminal record.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 01:40 pm (UTC)no subject
no subject
Date: 2003-07-31 02:16 pm (UTC)I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything while reading this. :)
no subject
no subject
Date: 2003-08-02 12:34 pm (UTC)