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wolven7d'redd - [A Faerie's Heart]--- So, my mother and i had a Damn long conversation, tonight, about the nature of need, and doing the things that you need to do, to get where you want/need to be.... I sat and i thought about this, for a long time... And i realised, that if i'm Ever going to tell her about my smoking, it'll be in a conversation like that. (Carmina Burana - [O Fortuna]). Because we're already on the Heavy stuff, why not some more? Earlier today, winamp went fromt he Apotheosis remix of this song, to the original, while on Random. I smiled.
So i got my cigarette, today. It was a Newport, and tasted Foul. I can't really describe my dislike for menthols... Oh.. i was talking about my realisation, with my mother... It happened that i told her a lot of things, about the sociological aspects of my life, that i've never really told her, before. People and what-not. Aspects of my relationships, with them. She helped me figure out that, in the end, i can't make people learn... And the more i Try to Make them, the worse off i'll be. So, again, i should present the shit, without considering it a vested emotional intrest. And that's fine, for some parts. Other things, however, lend more personally, and make with the sandpaper-grating at my nerve endings...
Gary Numan - [Prophecy]--- Affects, and accoutriments of banality and stupidity that make my life a living Hell, for being in their company. And it's a synthesis, really; certain people, in the company of others, catalyze into an explosion of Annoying, and, honestly, that's one of the reasons i had to get away. People were grating, more than usual, and i needed to take a step back. Or a few steps back... And, when i return, all shall be clear again, or some such nonsense, and i'll have more of the ability to Deal. Time Up a Goddamn Mountain will do that, for you.
And don't go getting all personally offended, here. You've no way of knowing if i meant you, and you never ask, so you'll never know. If i need to name your names, to you, in private company, then i will. As it stands, i believe that i've got an idea of that which i need to do, with my life. My dad wants to give me a book called "7 Lessons from Chaos." Man this universe is weird. When the time is right, i must find the undergraduate advisor, for the Philosophy department {Project Pitchfork - [Timekiller]--- Among other People}, and i must consult with them. (Lush - [Light From A Dead Star]). Bounce ideas, back and forth, in that Dialogue kind of way... Because that's how i learn. That's how i motivate myself. I place other people, near me, and use them as momentum, and gravity, and inertia takes over. The inertia of personal growth. Because, while i am still doing everything myself, i need that other face, there...Why? to remind myself that other people are there? That's not quite right... Because i'm more willing to accept other plans of action, when i put them into the mouths of others? Perhaps... Maybe it's simply that other people intrigue me, and i like hearing what they have to say... Suggestions? You tell me why i like you to tell me things. ^_^ hehehe
Voltaire - [Almost Human]--- With those plans, in motion, i've also realised that i should go to bed. Final note: I'm differently acclimated, than most everyone i know. All of my friends, in elementary school, were of High intelligence, and low social skills. I spent Most of the time around Adults, at least 20 years my senior... These things, and others, synthesized into making me a much differently acclimated person, than most. My priorities are very different. And... basically... the same...
Fuck it. Lick me.*smirk*
Dreams
So i got my cigarette, today. It was a Newport, and tasted Foul. I can't really describe my dislike for menthols... Oh.. i was talking about my realisation, with my mother... It happened that i told her a lot of things, about the sociological aspects of my life, that i've never really told her, before. People and what-not. Aspects of my relationships, with them. She helped me figure out that, in the end, i can't make people learn... And the more i Try to Make them, the worse off i'll be. So, again, i should present the shit, without considering it a vested emotional intrest. And that's fine, for some parts. Other things, however, lend more personally, and make with the sandpaper-grating at my nerve endings...
Gary Numan - [Prophecy]--- Affects, and accoutriments of banality and stupidity that make my life a living Hell, for being in their company. And it's a synthesis, really; certain people, in the company of others, catalyze into an explosion of Annoying, and, honestly, that's one of the reasons i had to get away. People were grating, more than usual, and i needed to take a step back. Or a few steps back... And, when i return, all shall be clear again, or some such nonsense, and i'll have more of the ability to Deal. Time Up a Goddamn Mountain will do that, for you.
And don't go getting all personally offended, here. You've no way of knowing if i meant you, and you never ask, so you'll never know. If i need to name your names, to you, in private company, then i will. As it stands, i believe that i've got an idea of that which i need to do, with my life. My dad wants to give me a book called "7 Lessons from Chaos." Man this universe is weird. When the time is right, i must find the undergraduate advisor, for the Philosophy department {Project Pitchfork - [Timekiller]--- Among other People}, and i must consult with them. (Lush - [Light From A Dead Star]). Bounce ideas, back and forth, in that Dialogue kind of way... Because that's how i learn. That's how i motivate myself. I place other people, near me, and use them as momentum, and gravity, and inertia takes over. The inertia of personal growth. Because, while i am still doing everything myself, i need that other face, there...Why? to remind myself that other people are there? That's not quite right... Because i'm more willing to accept other plans of action, when i put them into the mouths of others? Perhaps... Maybe it's simply that other people intrigue me, and i like hearing what they have to say... Suggestions? You tell me why i like you to tell me things. ^_^ hehehe
Voltaire - [Almost Human]--- With those plans, in motion, i've also realised that i should go to bed. Final note: I'm differently acclimated, than most everyone i know. All of my friends, in elementary school, were of High intelligence, and low social skills. I spent Most of the time around Adults, at least 20 years my senior... These things, and others, synthesized into making me a much differently acclimated person, than most. My priorities are very different. And... basically... the same...
Fuck it. Lick me.*smirk*
Dreams
no subject
Date: 2003-05-31 06:05 pm (UTC)you see enough of yourself in them in order to take a good look at yourself and see what it is you need, and what you need to change or do next
it gives you a distance where fear and inhibitions are quite as strong...so you can look at what you need to do and decide to just do it, because the universe supports you, at least through that one person
-sister anonymous
no subject