Honesty is the Strongest Aphrodisiac

Tom Waits - [Lost In The Harbour (Live)]--- unknownbinaries and I have been talking more freely and openly about a lot of things, lately, starting on this most recent trip to and from the semi-frozen north. In the process of these talks, I came to a realisation, about myself, and my interaction with other people:

When it comes to sexual exploration and disclosures, I have not yet encountered my "Line." In the range of things I have tried, thus far, and the things I'm willing to try, I have not yet found a point where I am uncomfortable in at least considering a possibility. (Joe Boyd Vigil - [Capslock]). This means that, as not_hothead_yet once articulated, I tend to demur to the lines-- real, perceived, or potential-- of others. Because I've encountered situations, already, where lines have been crossed, and that information wasn't known, until much later.

For instance, if I'm having a conversation, with someone, about sex, and I start talking about proclivities, or interests, I will go as far in that conversation, as the other person is willing to go. (Hirasawa Susumu - [The Girl in Byakkoya - White Tiger Field]). My interest, my curiousity, my willingness to know and to understand, in this situation, is without a known boundary. But the other person is probably not comfortable enough, with me, to feel the same, and so that has to be the measuring stick. Thus, I ask questions, I look for answers, and a sense of comfort-level and areas of expression.

I have been, and am sometimes still a very single-minded person, and I mean that in a bad way. I can get so intensely focused on the topics I love that I miss that people's eyes have glazed, that they are only responding with "Huh," or "Yeah." They don't care, after a point, and as i can talk about damn near anything, I tend to be very sensitive to the idea of being more sensitive to other people's needs. Because, if given the option, I will steam-roll a conversation, with facts, tidbits, tangents, connections, permutations, loop-backs, everything.

Tom Waits - [Singapore (Live)]--- But, no, I don't know where my line is, yet. (Veruca Salt - [Venus Man Trap]). I don't know what is too uncomfortable to talk about, because I haven't found it, yet. You ask me, I'll tell you anything, and not think, until after, if it was something that might make you uncomfortable to know.

t's... tricky to navigate this, and not be seen as a TMI-faux-pas-ing, Sketchy McCreepenstein, but the basic gist is this: If you say you're comfortable talking about something, with me, or knowing something about me, then I'll tell you. (Fiona Apple - [Sally's Song]). I will then try to move slowly, giving and taking bits of information, until such time as I'm pretty sure you actually meant what you said. Then I'll probably open the flood gates, if you're still around.

I've driven a lot of people away, telling them too much about how I felt, or what I thought, or what I've done. People get strange about it. This new year, I'm making an effort to meet people on their ground, and to find more people willing to meet me on mine.

In other, completely unrelated news, I just found... a Copper-coloured hair, in my beard? As in, growing out of my own face... What the hell? (Jason Webley - [Icarus]). Is there much precident for people of African-American descent naturally growing hair the actual colour of copper?

I find honesty to be extremely sexy. Knowing that should explain some things about you and

Daily Contemplation

Sometimes I really wonder if I've built a life & assembled a family of people of varying sociopathic intensity, but which is occasionally interspersed with "normal," functional people, who are mildly horrified, All The Time.

In other news, Happy Palindrome Day! Remember: Dogma I Live, Evil I Am God.

Recurring Themes

"History will show that Lady Gaga was in fact the first effective prototype of a weaponized, bifurcating memetic virus." - M1k3y

No less than three people have mentioned William Gibson's Spook Country, to me, in the past three days, including television programs referencing certain tropes.

Need to go do some more magic.

... I mean "Sell some coffee."