Dreams in concepts

Last night was the first set of dreams, in a long time, where I didn't think I could put them into words.

Conceptual schema, built like an oppulent hotel, where the urinals were made out of gold-veined marble, something about travel, and walking vast distances by going through doors, the correct way, and by aligning myself at the proper angles.

Offices and meetings in conference rooms, which were roads and time loops, and green fields that were whorls in space and time.

Driving and walking along a road, twice, the same way, the same time.

Very strange dreams, those.

Time for breakfast, I believe.

What am I doing?

I am constantly evaluating you. Everything you do, everything you say. How you do and say it. Constantly recompiling and reconfiguring where you fit into my life, and where I fit into yours.

All the time.

Sometimes I do it, overtly. Sometimes I just set up situations and watch. Sometimes I throw myself into the fray, and act as a common focal point for rage and frustration, to see who builds what, where. Sometimes I throw parties, and invite you all.

Why would I do that? Why would I approach my life and relationships, this way? It seems so cold and utilitarian, teleological, even.

I'm not just concerned with ends. I'm not afraid to use "morally suspect" means. I know that right is different from good, and that, by truly considering the vast realm of Things I Want And Need, I will need to work with others to get them.

So why would i do this? Why would I tell you this?

Why do you do it?

To Done

Of the things what need doing, here's what's been done.

• Find teaching application procedures for Paidea


• Find contact information for Sally, at Horizons. Kind of.


• Send out applications to remaining schools, after requesting letters of recommendation/permission for references


• Go downtown to print out new CV


• While Downtown, search listings for teaching jobs.


• Find a copy of the Jobs for Philosophers newsletter

The rest are for tomorrow, during the day.

This whole process is a bit demoralizing, and kind of tiring.

I'm off.