Which is not to say things don't have their upsides.

Suicidal Tendencies - [Institutionalized]--- Last night was not a completely wasted and horrible experience, by any means. It simply didn't work out, the way i wanted it to. Way to go, Winamp.

Anywho, had a good time, out, and then a good time back at my house with reannaremick, jessicarabbitt, electroncat, and tribeofone. Passed out around 8.30am, and woke up with a caffeine hangover. I guess that's what happens when you drink about a gallon of coffee, in one night....

Einstürzende Neubauten - [Headcleaner]--- I'm crashing kind of hard, and my brain is full of semi-obtuse comparative religion standpoints. I'm going to go to bed. I'll talk to you all, tomorrow.

Dream Well

Watching too much of something, when these things happen.

LUXT - [Bliss]--- Dreams of my family and the First Family, on the West Wing, overlapping, and mutually flickering in and out of existence. My step-mother was the First Lady, and Josh, Sam, and Toby were my brothers. I don't have any brothers, in waking life. I was the New Guy, and that made them my older brothers. Something, in there, about a monster under my old bed, at my dad's old house, being invisisble, and, therefore, not being able to fight it very well. (Arch Enemy - [Enemy Within]). Something about it trying to grab my safety blanket, which was also, indivdually and singularly, a bass guitar and a Nestlé crunch bar.

Something later on in the dream about cryptic evolving single posts, on everyone's live journals. They were a few lines, at most, and they would ask questions, which they would later answer. Moods would change, and the days had ups and downs, but it wasn't like going back in and editing a previous post.. The new one was simply there. Where the old one had been. Dynamic and static. Something about one of comorbid's friends, on a LiveJournal Trading card, telling the story of how S/He/It became the orc it was, and it was a sad tail of kidnapping and intimidation, and murder and rebirth. (Flogging Molly - [Drunken Lullabies]). Which is why it wasn't as deformed as the others. It was actually nearly beautful, and full of vengeance. To hear and understand this, i had to be pulled through and into the card, through the computer screen.

Half-vision, last night, sometime, about two systems being incompatible, and the people involved resisting reconcilliation. Just means i have to think Better about these things.

I'm off to make some phone calls, eat some breakfast, of some sort (maybe oatmeal, or maybe a pizza), and watch some more West Wing. Yes, i am Fully addicted to that show.

Oh, speaking of my dad's side of the family, my father called and woke me up, this morning, from my step-mother's phone; apparently my baby sister has something to ask me, but hasn't, yet.

Later.

When I Got There

When I Got There

Tom Waits - [Fish & Bird]--- I keep thinking about that night. I can't help it, really, because every time I see the flat, oily sheen of neon on glass, or the gleam of metal on concrete, my thoughts see the flash of electricity, and the pain... Well I'm reminded. Let's say that. (Damon Albarn& Michael Nyman - [Checkmate]). So I remember and if I can help it, I want to do that as little as possible. Because every time I remember, I come here, and I sit on the dirt that never seems to grow anything, and I cry, until I realise that it won't help.

You always told me where you wanted to go, when the time came, and I liked to smile and indulge you, and think, way down deep, that it was never going to happen. Most of me never believed you, never thought it would play out the way you kept telling me it would. You knew all the details, so well, I couldn't help but think it was a story you'd been telling yourself, since you were a kid. (Tom Waits - [Flower's Grave]). Some fantasy, playing over and over for so long that whatever trauma or truth had spawned it had long since been replaced. Most of my rational mind refused to accept it. But part of me knew. Small pieces of me knew that it was true. That what you were, what you were waiting to be was there, all the time...

There were small signs, I think. Tiny things that seemed at off-angles, with the rest of the world, like you were moving against the flow of everything, and the universe had to move out of your way, when you walked, just so. (The Smiths - [How Soon Is Now?]). The twist and twitch of your shoulder, as you made your way through a door; the angle at which you placed the ball of your foot, to turn, to face me, when I called your name. The way you seemed to have to think, just for a second, when I spoke your name... As if you had to remember that that's what you were called... Every movement, for you, was another step in the Great Ghost Dance of your life, and you knew I could never be your dance partner... That we each had things to do, and we had to do them alone...

I'm here again, today... I was there, yesterday... That place where nothing seems to soften, and where everything looks brown, dark, and dead... That place you told me to put you, in the woods off the side of the road, when it finally happened, and when I finally had to do to you, what you had found me for... We lost each other then... or maybe we found each other, then... (C-Tec - [Foetal]). I'm here, again now, thinking to you, because I know that you can hear me. Because I was there, yesterday, and I saw something new. I saw you, there, growing from the ground, all shiny black petals, and deep green thorns. I could hear you calling me, and I could hear your name, there, too. I finally understand why it took you a minute, when I called that name.

I'm glad we're almost home.
©Damien Williams. All Rights Reserved.

Small thoughts on the Philosophy of Language

Peter Schilling - [Major Tom]--- We all have names by which we are known, in the world. Descriptions of one person may range in scope, containing more or less information about that person, than the listener may posses. This is why we have conversations such as "Do you know _______?" "With the orange hair?" "Yeah, Orange-ish; wears camouflage pants, a lot?" "Yeah, I know _______." But there is something new, now, in the age of "Teh Intarweb." We have different descriptors, for people, and these descriptors all point to the same referent, but.... We are aware of this, as we never may have been, in the past.

When I describe or name someone, in the world, now, I can give any range of descriptive constituents. (Voltaire - [Irresponsible]). I can give any number of Names (and i'm missing the Philosophy of Language approved Term, for "Name," here, if anyone can help me out.), as well, and direct my listener's knowledge of the subject, without their having to fill in quite so much. This is good and bad, really. Causes us to hav eto think a little less, but it also makes sure we're more well informed, overall.

When i speak of you, whoever the hell you may be, i can give the main name by which i know you, any internet handles by which i think my listener should know you (unless i'm sure they don't, and in which case i don't give those things out, unless i know you're okay with it), and any other public psuedonyms and descriptors of which you may be possessed.... (Liars - [Flow My Tears the Spider Said]) Mmmm possession...

System of a Down - [Spiders]--- Uhm.... I think a certain spider god wants a talk with me....

I have to go now. These thoughts brought to you by my clarifying the existence of a person, with his given name, and his lj username. Ta.

{4.20pm:Death in Vegas - [Opium Shuffle]--- Swiped from comorbid. Funny

You scored as Wrath. </td> Wrath 81% Pride 101% Sloth 44% Gluttony 38% Lust 31% Envy 25% Greed 19% Seven deadly sins created with QuizFarm.com

{{9.31pm: Covenant - [Leviathan]--- My little joke. Appropriate, yes? ;)

10.01pm: Read this story. Didn't give it enough front time, i guess. Whatever. There.}}}

"Judge OKs discarded embryo lawsuit." This is not going to be good.

'CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- A couple whose frozen embryo was accidentally destroyed at a fertility clinic has the right in Illinois to file a wrongful-death lawsuit, a judge has ruled in a case that some legal experts say could have implications in the debate over embryonic stem cell research.

'In an opinion issued Friday, Cook County Judge Jeffrey Lawrence said "a pre-embryo is a 'human being' ... whether or not it is implanted in its mother's womb."''

Well Shit. This is a ruling on which i will need more information, but it seems pretty clear that Judge Lawrence believes that an embryo (syn. "Foetus") is a Human Being. Please take a moment to think about that.

Now that you've all properly grasped the implications of this-- technological, as well as reproductive-- feel free to do something about it. I know that Abortion is seen as murder, by many, and even by some in the reading audience, but think of the fact that there are grey areas, everywhere. Black and White do exist, as extremes on a spectrum. Most problems are not that.

Personally, i'm outraged that this was tossed out there, couched in something else, and can and will be cited as precident, further down the line. This is going to turn into something very difficult, for the next Democratic, or even "Middle of the Road, Moderate" Government. Odd how "Moderate" has come to mean "weak," and "Liberal" has come to mean "Insane."

Why can't we remember what things mean, anymore? Anyway, shit is hitting fans, across the country. Ever feel like the government is fucking with you, because it can? Because i know that that temptation has to be Huge.

Later.

{11.26pm: This is a good day to listen to others, WOLVEN. They might be discussing something that could prove important. You could hear some juicy gossip about some important changes coming up in your professional environment. Try to think like a spy today. Go into observer mode and be a silent witness to things that are happening. You could gather some useful data along the way!

I think like a spy every day.}