Count Zero Overdrive

So i'm reading "Mona Lisa Overdrive," and OH MY GODS! What the hell happened to everyone?! Bobby... Angela... shattered... It's so difficult to read, seeing them so broken... But Broken seems to be the order of the day, these days, so maybe i should suck it up, and get used to it, eh? So... That's really about it...

Going to go now. May or may not be back. just in case: Gute Nacht.

Dream Well

Dreams like a serial thriller...

I'm on train which is also a van, with doors on both sides, and both doors are open. I'm talking to the driver, who is female, and named Sally, About all kinds of things. i ask her if i can close one of the doors, cause it's making me nervous. She says sure. I'm smoking, and so is everyone else.

I'm in a cabin, that is my great aunt's house, and there is a convenience store attached. I'm on a bench, in the store, sleeping, and my dad come by, and tries to wake me up, saying "Look, you can't just lay there, all day. You won't be able to, when you're in school, and you can't now." Thee's the air of cigarettes, again, and, briefly, i wake up

i looked around me, as i lay on the couch, and i realised that it was Sunday. i rolled over and went back to sleep.

I'm in a department store, and it's Christmas. i'm there with my cousin, and my mom. We go up an escalator, and my cousin has an after-image of a Christmas Bear/Santa thing, in her hands. She's talking about how she wants one, and we tell her that they're too expensive. We get to the top of the escalator, and there is someone, very bookish, but not, off to the left, taking polls, and surveys. She doesn't ask us, but we can see that she notices the After-image. We keep walking, and we're in a part of the mall in my head.

Sally is talking to this girl that knows me, and, in this world, i'm a well-respected Detective, or something. She's trying to convince this girl to give her information, on where i am, and on whatever the girl knows about the family of killers, with a personal vendetta against me. The girl looks at Sally and says "All i know is that they're going to try to sell you your bus back. Sally says: "That's funny; that's exactly what he said." Speaking of me. The Girl takes off, biking down the street, and around a few corners, and Sally is chasing her, She get's to her house, and the girl is hiding behind her mother, She hops off this ledge, and takes of biking down this alley, and past this chain link fence, and Sally is still chasing her

I'm riding the bike around some corners, and i'm looking for the bus, with the people on it, and the Family. I know that Sally is on her way, but i also know she won't get there in time. I'm trying to find the family, before they kill all of the people,in the bus. i find a bunch of vehicles, and i see the family, all standing in, or next to the bus, and it's the same van/train thing i was riding in earlier. The Mother sees me dart behind a car, and she starts walking by the cars, saying the name of the person it belonged to, as she walks past. I know that she's killed these people, and has hidden their remains, in the trunks. She says something to me, about running, and i throw something to my left, and take off, right. As i'm running, i say "Are you gonna shoot me, or are you gonna take me in, alive?" and i realise that i've been here, before, and i didn't make it out of here, last time, without getting shot in the spine, and paralysed, from the waist down. She looks to her boys and says, which ever one of you catches him, gets a big reward." They stand there, arguing about the reward, and i keep running, though i now have the feeling of trying to run through Tar. It's slow, and sticky, and i'm rather worried about being shot, in the back. I get to a fence, with barbed wire on top, and i realise that i'm going to have to jump it, or i'm going to get shot. So i start climbing it, and the family is chasing me, and i get over the top, and i flip over, and i crash through a window that is both the bus window, and a building window, where people will be safe. i wake up

THAT'll teach me to watch the beginning of "Last Action Hero," before i go to bed, at night. *Shudder vomit* And i saw what it was. I knew. But i looked, anyway. Why did i look? WHY , LORD?!! WHYYYY?!!!!! And i'll stop that now, before my grief propels me through a window. So that family was all like "Gotta get Him," like i was their special birthday cake, covered in chocolate sprinkles, and the women in the dream, who were looking for me, where being mad, crazy protective of me. Sally, and the girl, but in that admiration and respect, and star-struck way, for the girl. With Sally, it was more the obvious sexual tension. Like Nick Stone, and Detective Ash, from the last season of "Brimstone". Sally was some kind of Special Ops, unit, but, once again, i am reading "Mona Lisa Overdrive," these days, so... Etc. Any whom....

i prayed, last night, to a good many "People," for a good many things, one of which was that my Dreams led me where i need to be. It seems that the immediate answer was "Here and Now."

Day Dream

Personal Information: "All revelations are personal. That's why all revelations are suspect." - Bast

Eminem - [My Dads Gone Crazy]--- When i was little, i used to have two recurring nightmares, and one recurring Dream. (empire records - [Ready, Steady, Go]). One of the nightmares, i had when i was three.

I'm being chased, through my basement, by all of these demons and goblins, and whatnot. I'm running, and i'm trying to get to the stairs, to get out of the basement, because i know that, if i can get out of the basement, I'll be safe. I run and i get to the stairs, but before i get all the way up them, i wake up

Jack Off Jill - [Vivica]--- I have this dream, three nights, in a row, before i wake up screaming, and my mother asks me, what's wrong. i tell her about the dream, and she tells me that if i can say "It's only a dream," then i'll be able to control my dreams, and it'll be ok. That night i go to bed, hoping i won't have to try it.

I'm being chased, through my basement, by all of these demons and goblins, and there are more of them now. I'm running, and i'm trying to get to the stairs, to get out of the basement, because i know that, if i can get out of the basement, I'll be safe. I run and i get to the stairs, but before i get all the way up them, i try to say "It's only a dream, it's only a dream," and my throat closes up, and i can't speak. One of the things, behind me, sinks it's claws into my shoulder, with a feeling like it's not really there, and i hear a voice, whispered in my ear, and in the fabric of the dream, itself, saying "No. It's not." i wake up

Poe - [A Rose Is a Rose]--- I never had the dream again, after that. Another of the nightmares was much more subtle than that. (Poe - [Trigger Happy Jack]).

I'm on a huge steamliner, and i'm the Captain. I'm standing on the side of the ship, staring out over what Isn't water. We're sailing on this roiling Mist, and there's a deck swabby, with a weirdly large head, and a pale guy, in black, off to the side, watching. All of a sudden, this formless mass of a thing rams into the side of the ship, knocking a huge hole in it, and tossing me overboard. I fall over the edge, and down into the mist. I'm falling as if through air, but i'm drowning. i'm falling down a square hole, and i turn over, just in time to see the bottom, rushing to meet me. As my chest starts to touch the bottom, i wake up

Smashing Pumpkins - [1979]--- I had that dream when i was 4 or 5. Three nights in a row. There was another one, with a red Chinese dragon, flying in an infinity symbol, above some pagodas, with fireworks going on around it. And then, when i was twelve, the prophetic dreams started. I told my mom, and some of my great aunts about them, and they told me that it ran in the family. (Jack Off Jill - [Strawberry Gashes]). That the women were usually the ones to get it, and that i was probably the first male, in that entire side of the family to get them. They also told me that my grandmother would get them, from time to time. *sigh*

For those of you who don't know, my grandmother was one of the most important people in my life, and without her, i never would have discovered coffee. She died, a month before my seventh birthday, and shaped my ideas on Death, Change, and Crying. I miss her, a lot.

System Of A Down - [Chop Suey]--- There. Now you all have a little more information about the shit that fucked me up, as a small Child, and thusly helped to shape the horrendously convoluted and symbolic Maelstrom that is my life.

Tschusz

Bloody fuck, i hate half-remembering....

Does anyone remember a book, fairly old, that had an X-33 Scramjet, in it, used by some one the main characters, to fly somewhere? I remember the scene, but not the characters, or the book, and it's driving me fucking crazy.

On the upside, i did find some rather interesting sites, about scramjets....