Self-Image.

[wolven7]

I'm in a weird state. This is my CV. In the past few months and years, I have applied to several teaching and academic positions, and have received none of them. Since completing my graduate program, I have only added to my field of experience, and yet... nothing. So.

If you were hiring for academic positions, is there anything, here, which would immediately turn you off? Elucidate, here.

I have a body image issue. My abdominal muscles are asymmetrical, as a result of stance, hip cast, and something strange about the composition of my ribs (right side of my ribs is more pronounced than the left, creating a weird space for the attendant musculature). This has become more and more apparent to me, in the past several months. It bothers the living fuck out of me, and I am very self-conscious about it.

Those of you with chiropractic or gait-based experience, what can I do to adjust my stance, hip cast, etc, to correct this?

Borders Trip, today. I very much feel my Raven, when I go to closing stores to raid their closeout sales.

On a happier note, pages 141 through 154 of Truman Capote's Other Voices, Other Rooms comprise some of the most brilliant prose i have ever read. I mean that. Read this book.

Okay, ta.

Comments

[smartlikeatruck.livejournal.com]

I do not work for a university, I work for a museum. But? If I were applying to a teaching position, I would take everything off of my resume that did not have to do with teaching. You emphasize your work in retail and service industries.
Perhaps create a selective CV? When I was looking for work, I had one that emphasized my work in retail, and one that emphasized my work in office environs.

[smartlikeatruck.livejournal.com]

And I am a huge nerdy advocate of the Alexander Technique for posture problems. I was trained in it for theatre, but it has proven very valuable in the real world, where I sit on my bum all day.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I'll have to check that out. Thanks.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Off the cuff; used to rewrite resumes as a sideline.

[bheansidhe.livejournal.com]

I, I, I, I, I. Perhaps rewrite "Personal" in dynamic sentence fragments and rename "Summary." (Good advice here: http://clevercareerist.com/blog/2007/03/05/how-to-write-a-resume-summary-statement/)

Forget the top-down, reverse chronological order job listing for your resumes. Coffee shop is 1st thing you see on job history. Revamp in favor of "Relevant Employment." Follow with "Additional Employment" section below that, to provide chronological continuity. In fact, why is your CV mashed up together with your Everyman's Resume? This is a very untargeted resume, job history-wise.

I recommend having 2-3 versions prepared, at least, that target different industries.

Keep CV separate.

You seem to have the makings of a hospitality industry resume, an artist/writer resume, and an activist/journalist resume - all separate from the academic resume.

Very non-specific regarding technologies and technical skills. Do you know software, hardware, specific OS, any industry-specific skills? "Used a computer to access information from various systems to develop reports" is about as vague as you can get. I don't see a separate listing of technical proficiencies, such as Microsoft Office 2007 or Adobe Photoshop 7.

...Hope this helps, and was taken in the spirit it was intended; i.e., what flashed across my head as I read the resume, pretty much s-o-c.

Re: Off the cuff; used to rewrite resumes as a sideline.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Re: Off the cuff; used to rewrite resumes as a sideline.

[bheansidhe.livejournal.com]

The reason I used to write resumes as a sideline was to overcome the panic of dealing with my own resume. Resumes are officially No Fun. I hope you got some useful advice in this thread.

Did I mention I've never noticed anything odd about your body? I've never noticed anything odd about your body.

Re: Off the cuff; used to rewrite resumes as a sideline.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

1) They really aren't.

2) Thank you. I appreciate that. It's changed a bit, all around. But then, whose hasn't?

[karishi.livejournal.com]

I agree that showing off the skills that target your audience is more important than making it clear you've been working consistently. If there's something from being Lead Supervisor at Chocolate that will make you better at the job you're applying for, just say that thing. Ignore the rest. If you don't think you can succinctly explain how the supervisor position will make you a better philosophy professor, leave it off entirely.
On a resume at least, it's generally expected that you'll include phone number and mailing address in addition to e-mail.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Phone Number and Address Intentionally Removed.

[karishi.livejournal.com]

Durr. Feel kinda silly.

I do think, even for a CV, that there's a sense of "you have 1 page to wow them." If there's a way to start with the parts you consider most likely to impress, do it and get around to the more basic "oh, and here's my employment history" later.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

I'll see if a second look yields anything, but on first glance, I agree with some of the other comments. Swap the places of 'Employment' and 'All The Academic Stuff', for academic jobs. Because it looks (to an outsider) like a fairly impressive number of of consistently-oriented credits (like in art, I expect the other end likes knowing what to expect from you), but only if they make it to them, and they may not make it that far. Slush readers make it through a page, at Best, for example. And it may communicate that you think of academia second, and 'real jobs' first.

And yeah, the intro could use some extension and streamlining as well. Fewer I's, more...something.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

QED

[raoin.livejournal.com]

i realize that it's your own impressions of yourself that ultimately matter when you look in the mirror, but i want you to know that i've never noticed anything asymmetrical about your abs. all i've ever noticed is how lickable they are.

---

as to your CV, i wanted to know: do you supply the whole thing when you apply to a job or only parts dependent on the job applied to? it was my understanding that non-academic jobs wouldnt care about the cirriculum vitae and that academic jobs wouldnt care so much about your entire career history? to that end, if you are supposed to put the whole thing on there all the time, maybe you can tailor your job duties to better reflect teaching elements (for academic jobs) and corporate elements (for corporate jobs)?

this is, of course, all the same bullshit people keep telling me and you can see what shite-all it's done for me. but i continue to hope that if i employ the mechanisms everyone keeps telling me i should use, that eventually they will pay off.

the more i delve into the process of procuring and securing work, however, the more i see that merit isnt nearly as important as connections. the whole cliche, 'it isnt what you know, it's who you know' seems to be proven more and more true. for me this is painful because i'm bad with connections, with talking to people about things that i 'want', and because it seems as though the people i am connected to are not in the business of doing anything of the things i want to do. For you, i suspect this is something you have been working on tirelessly from the beginning. I am as frustrated for you as i am for myself, often moreso. and i have no idea how to fix it.

can i buy you a beer?
(because beer obviously will fix everything)

... it's who you know

[plantyhamchuk.livejournal.com]

Agreed. Particularly in a down economy.. many positions are advertised as being "open" when there's someone in-house a company or institution already plans on using, they just have to announce the opening for legal reasons or somesuch.

Getting to know useful people is key. If you can get to the AAR, even the local ones, and press the flesh it would help. The harsh reality is that no one really cares when hiring you about your specific specialty/ies, they want to know if you can teach their courses. And you're competing against actual graduate students for teaching positions.

Cleaning up and paring down your CV is a great first step though.

Re: ... it's who you know

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Unfortunate but true. Luckily I know a lot of people.

Thank you.

Re: QED

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[drgnsyr.livejournal.com]

no advice on the academics, but I will also say that I have never noticed anything asymetrical about your abs. The people I have discussed your abs with have never mentioned anything about it either. And yes, I have had more than one conversation about your abs ;-)

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That... Makes me feel both pleased and a little concerned ;)

[drgnsyr.livejournal.com]

Just go with pleased o:-)

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Will Do. ^_^

[mendori.livejournal.com]

... Why is it that we all seem to end up having conversations about your abs? Of course, you know where MY mind has gone with that before. Do not tempt the plot bunnies.

[raidingparty.livejournal.com]

I fully expect a piece with the title "Lucifer's Abs" to show up, now.

I have three different résumés: "computer", "everything", and "game".

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that seems to be the magic number I'm hearing.

Thank you.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Because my abs are (apparently?) awesome. Plot bunnies don't need tempting. They'll do as they wilt.

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

That is why they're BUNNIES, as in FUCK LIKE. :)

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Exactly!