And now for something Completely the Same:

[wolven7]

Warren Zevon - [Gridlock]--- Here's another one of those posts that's gonna make you think I'm crazy, but it's my place, &c.

Forty Horsepersons of the Apocalypse: Sound off.

I asked a while ago, what you would be, if you were a Horseperson of the Apocalypse, and not many took it seriously. Applications are now being accepted.

If you have questions, relating to this asignment, feel free to ask

Proceed.

Comments

[sadistic-apollo.livejournal.com]

damn it, couldn't you just assign these things? I mean, where do you take a test that says what sorta horseman you'd be? I had to take a placement exam just to find out I was destinged to be a concrete sculptor, how am I supposed to know which agent of ends I'm supposed to be? couldn't you just pull out the magic eight ball juju and pin the horseman on the horse?

erm....

pretty please =)

MC Paul Barman - [I'm Fricking Awesome]

[wolven.livejournal.com]

No. You choose, or it's meaningless. That's the point, this time.

If I have to pick for you, are you Really sure you're ready to be a Horseperson? ;)

Re: MC Paul Barman - [I'm Fricking Awesome]

[sadistic-apollo.livejournal.com]

a sword doesn't have to know that it's a sword as long as it knows how to cut.

fine, i'll be the horseman, Courage. Courage always seems to stand next to stupidity (i guess i can have a sidecar on my bike) and between the two of them they just about get damned near everyone killed.

Re: MC Paul Barman - [I'm Fricking Awesome]

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Make sure you stay well out in front, then, but damn it, be selective. Sure, the whole purpose of the apocalypse is a-pocalypse, but some people might need a little more time to learn.

Re: MC Paul Barman - [I'm Fricking Awesome]

[sadistic-apollo.livejournal.com]

hey, when the horn blows it's time to put down yer pencils and turn in yer tests.

Re: MC Paul Barman - [I'm Fricking Awesome]

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Fair enough.

[teididh.livejournal.com]

I wanna be Latchkey Kids.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

And as this Horseperson, what would your job be?

[teididh.livejournal.com]

I would undermine civilization by producing an entire generation of self-absorbed yet self-esteem-starved, crushingly lonely young adults, whose apathy for the world at large is exceeded only by their apathy for their own families (formerly the axis of civilized life.)*

Kill off the young (if not in body, then in their shriveled little souls,) the rest is inevitable.




*This is in no way a criticism of working parents. For elaboration, merely ask.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Generations? That'll take Forever...

[teididh.livejournal.com]

neh, we got started in the seventies. unfortunate byproduct of the misguided american feminists movement.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

True enough. So, really, a lot of your work is already done. And how will your office seek to ultimately revitalise the shattered carcass of the world?

[teididh.livejournal.com]

hm, that's a good question, Jim,
*crosses legs*

Well, I suppose our main contribution will be in the supply of easily-led drones for the New Order. The glowing square babysitter has been proven time and time again to be a great tool of social "reform." Now that it's taken the place of the archetypal (parental) deities, what minions are spared the initial destruction will come with a built-in conduit (to be used at the discretion of policymakers.)

Even if we skip "Armageddon" per se, I figure our department has made significant inroads towards total domination of the industrialized nations, particularly in the Western Hemisphere.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Well-said. We'll definately be in touch.

[momentai.livejournal.com]

I actually DON'T want to be a "horseperson", but when your forty meet my four, I'll be leading them as Insanity.
As for why...it makes sense, really, if you think about it, which I have and which is why I would be the best suited.

All evil flows from insanity. it's in the bible. somewhere near the back.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

If it's near the back, i think you mean "All evil flows from Drug Abuse and Rome."

[momentai.livejournal.com]

Same thing really. It's insane to want to take heroin or pot as they quite literally eat away your brain. And we all read "Julius Ceaser" and watch the History Channel. Rome was seriously a fucked up place, aquiducts and free trade be damned.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Air eats away your brain eventually. I really quite enjoy breathing, though.

[momentai.livejournal.com]

whats your point? we've already proven u r quite with the lunacy, so really, I am ahead of the times. my apocalypse totally has yours in the bag.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Crazy or no, my Apocalyptic Army'll beat yours.

[lupusfeuer.livejournal.com]

Can I be the Horseperson of Unenlightened Self Interest and Undeserved righteousness. That seems to be the lynchpin of any good apocalypse, making sure everyone is too greedy, too self important or too distracted to set about any collective act that might alleviate the situation.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I'm working with the literal translation of apocalypse, rather than simple "End of the World." But, yeah, sure, if that's what you really want.

[elioraceit.livejournal.com]

i'll be the horseman, chaos. that always seems to fit. and i'm not really bragging about that.

rome...::shiver:: i bet their stand-up comedy was shite.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I'll grant that. On both counts.

Job description?

[elioraceit.livejournal.com]

it's really kinda hard to put into words, but not at the same time. i'll take a stab at it, no pun intended.

everything is so fucked up but every now and then you think you might see a way out of it. things start making sense, but only because you weren't paying attention. then you start to organize everything again and try to notice where it started going right, and "poof" it's gone.

and the further you go, you realize that you can certainly want something. and work towards it, work your ass off. but one tiny, miniscule thing can come along and completely derail every last bit of blood and sweat and heart you put into the whole damn thing, forcing you to think that perhaps you don't control how things end up afterall. but this pisses you off. and you start thinking how unfair it is that you can't accurately predict anything. you can't take a part in your own destiny.

of course, this is just on bad days when you've let yourself think about it too much. you aren't always this fatalistic. deep down you know there's a certain ...something...about letting things just work themselves out. and you like seeing where life might take you. it's exciting to think that you might just stumble upon happiness instead of being some kind of warrior for it.

and the funny thing is, somewhere in between the two, is that glimpse of clarity. that place where everything lines up. and it's beautiful. and you can bask in it for about 11 minutes, then it's, to semi-quote Mal, "on it's merry." it didn't leave directions on how to get back either.

so what's my job description. that's what i was trying to get at. i really and truly couldn't tell you. i don't even know what my proper job is yet. but i know i'll be there.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Dis/Illusionment

How would your office aid in rebuilding the shattered carcass of the world?

[pallandrome.livejournal.com]

I claim Cheese.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Sorry, we're not looking for lactose-enriched Horsepersons, at this time. Please check back, for our semi-annual Cowpocalypse.

[auriam.livejournal.com]

Sure, I'll be Depression.

[auriam.livejournal.com]

Or just Angst in general ;)

[wolven.livejournal.com]

You'll have to duke it out with Sartre and Camus, for that one. They've been vying for it, ever since they found out that Hell both was, and was not, in fact, Other People.

[auriam.livejournal.com]

Camus can do, but Sartre is Smartre.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That. Was Terrible.

Well done.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Doesn't that fall under Pestilence?

[mendori.livejournal.com]

OOO OOO.

I either want to be the Horseperson of Gay Porn, or just Smut in general.

Job description: Undermining your conservative morals with taisty perversions and pretty sweaty things.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Hmm, yeah, but that only gets to the Conservatives and the Repressed. What about those of us who don't care? There should be a facet of your job for Everyone. Something you do should be able to at least slightly disturb even me.

[jessicarabbitt.livejournal.com]

Would the gerbil up the anus porn not disturb you? Or perhaps the food porn? Maybe necrophelia porn? I'm sure there's SOME porn out there to make everyone go "ew".

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Confuse, yes, disturb, not so much. It takes a lot to disturb me, but, sometimes, it's disconcertingly simple things, in very wrong situations.

[mendori.livejournal.com]

I think I may have something like that... *digs through unmaked brown paper boxes*

Does my horse come with a trailer? I'm going to need it.

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

No, you get a Bag of Holding Smut.

[bakeneko.livejournal.com]

After my day today, I think I'm going for "fainting"

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Just remember to keep your conveyance awake. *hug*