wolven7: (Emotion-Intensified)
[personal profile] wolven7
I want to talk about the Future. I want to talk about TransHumanism, and bio-mechanica. I want to talk about your future, my future, our future.

I want to talk about life, and the nature of things.

I think Giger, when I think Transhumanism. I think biomech. Emphasis on neither.

I despise the way things seem to be going, now that i'm back in classes. Maybe it's post-midterm malaise, or some other such bullshit, but listening to people talk on and on about nothing, never making plans, always staying below the line of sight, all I want to do is pound faces into the concrete again, and again, and again.

I am constantly reminded of what [livejournal.com profile] thenowhere once told me: "You're not hitting hard enough."

My father recently offered me the position of CKO, within his company. It's only now sinking in what that will entail.

My writing seems to be... mired in mediocrity, of late, and i'm getting B's and B+'s, but i've not received a single A, on anything, this semester. Something has gone awry.

I've been reading more and more of the D.C. Noir stories, and, as I do so, the map in my head gets clearer and clearer. I remember how to get around the city of my birth, and I remember what I loved about that place.

Tell me what you want. Tell me why you're here. Tell me what you want to know and tell me who you are.

Tell me a story about your future, your present, your past. And it damn well better mean something to you.

Date: 2006-03-14 11:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] momentai.livejournal.com
I want to be able to live comfortably while creating work that inspires people to think better than they are accustomed to.

I am here b/c you have a lot to write and I like to read it, though I disagree with most of it.

I am Here so that I others may see me and realize that they do not want to walk my path, with the intent that they start walking with a purpose they never understood before.

I want to know how to translate my lot in life into a career for life.

I am just some dude. As such, I have "just" the information you were looking for if only you are willing to ask me for it and brave enough to beleive me.

I once met someone and we became friends. We were good friends and my world was brighter than it had been. Even so, I decided I wanted more. I tried to take more than this friend was willing to give and we became enemies. Afterwards, I learned that I had come to the decison to be greedy with faulty intelligence. I tried to correct my mistake, but it was too late to repair the damage.

Time passed. The enemy approached me with an olive branch. I was caught off guard. Instead of embracing them and their offer I...misreacted and the offer of peace was withdrawn. Despite being at fault for the retraction, I became angry and attacked my enemy in order to seek revenge. This, of course, backfired and I suffered more than I they did. I eventually realized the new folly of my old ways and sought to change myself. I informed my enemy of this revelation and retreated to enact my plan of inner renewal.

Time passed and we became strangers. I examined what led to this outcome and realized a lot of the pain, suffering, and misunderstandings could have been avoided. If I had understood how to see the world thru my friend's eyes we could have communicated better. The communication would have led to better understanding of each other or at least of each other's persepctives. We would have gained a stronger bond and deeper respect. However, we did not and I regretted that for a long time. This regret clouded my mind's eye and helped us become enemies and eventually strangers.

SInce then, I have tried to always be aware of the other person's point of view. I have strived to look at circumstances from another's persective and not act rashly. I constantly attempt to apply what I learned back then to my now so that my maybe will not turn out the same way. I have recently failed, though not as poorly as before. I was tempted to give up, but that would have gotten me nowhere and I am already quite familiar with those environs. This is my most important story. It has defined all the ones that came after it. I am always working to ensure that any further connotations from it do not evoke the dark meanings that began casting their shadows in Winter 1997.

Date: 2006-03-15 04:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
The belief part is the thing that gets most people, when they hear something that bothers them.

Thank you for the story.

Date: 2006-03-15 05:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
Always tells a story. Fractal paths to be followed for evers.

I wrote a story about that once. The best example of order and chaos.

Thank you.

Date: 2006-03-16 12:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kuranes.livejournal.com
Well.. I just though... "original" comment.

Date: 2006-03-16 06:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
It's certainly that. Thanks :)
From: [identity profile] teididh.livejournal.com
Personally, I won't answer this unless you ask in person.

...or, you could consider this an answer to all of the above.

From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
And not searching for it everywhere, at all times, is just plain lazy.

Eventually, silence is an answer, I guess.
From: [identity profile] teididh.livejournal.com
Tell me what you want. Tell me why you're here. Tell me what you want to know and tell me who you are.

Tell me a story about your future, your present, your past. And it damn well better mean something to you.


Personally, I won't answer this unless you ask in person.


wasn't silence, though, was it?

There was a statement, which -could- be used as an answer to all (stated) queries.

(You don't usually have to be prodded like this. Everything ok?)
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
It wasn't. Woke up groggy, kind of fighty. Better now, or making way there, due to some good synchronicity, and reading.

Thank you for asking.

And yes, it can be an answer to all of them. There was menat to be an "even" before that "silence," but it was awkward. Anything's an answer, if either party is willing to reinterpret the question.
From: [identity profile] teididh.livejournal.com
furthermore, that depends on what you're here for.

Not everyone is even remotely interested in enlightenment, nor should they be.
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
True. I guess it gets hard for me to remember that it's possible that anyone reading this hasn't made that their goal. Or ~goal, if you prefer.
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
Now That's hard to grasp. I think i tend to see it as "They're morbidly fascinated with," rather than "like" me.

Date: 2006-03-15 01:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadistic-apollo.livejournal.com
I want only to be used for the purpose I was created for. It doesn't amount to much, but it does given a certain goal and an indemniable satisfaction. I would like to know when i'm to become useful, but it's really an inconsequential desire, as when it's time, I'll be ready.

the story you'll have to get later

Date: 2006-03-15 04:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
Or perhaps when you're ready it will be time. There's a difference, there.

I'll get the story from you soon enough.

Date: 2006-03-15 09:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] michette.livejournal.com
i'll type a better response when i have more time. but until then...

i reopened the metaphysical/ghosty/whatever side of my brain. i have also started new medications recently. stories attached to those:

first meds: benzodiazepines, in all forms. i take them to sleep. consequently, they cause AMAZINGLY real dreams. sex dreams so good that i actually reach full orgasm more than once. i've been told this is difficult for a girl to do in dream form. and it's not because i'm masturbating in my sleep. it is AMAZING. *shudders*

second med: the nuva ring! that's right kids. the liz is FINALLY on a birth control that doesn't make her want to heave 24/7 and doesn't screw my thyroid up too much (as long as i stay on the thyroid hormone meds). i'm surprisingly NOT allergic to what it is made of, even though i'm allergic to most everything external (latex, all metal, many synthetics, i think i'm even allergic to surgical steel...). my cysts are getting better. best part: MY BREASTS ARE HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! once i get a more supportive bra, i'll find my way to you, and everyone can marvel at how thrilled i am about the new support system *nods*

third med: armour thyroid. i am now taking pig thyroid, in pill form. they dry the thryoid, crush it up, then put it in pill form. it smells sort of like sweet pork rinds. i'm not kidding. it makes me laugh. oh, and i hate pork of all kinds, always have. this is the only form of the pig i have consumed since i was probably 7 years old.

and the metaphysical: i can feel reiki again! the demons don't bother me as much. i'm much more confident. i exude power, it's amazing. i can talk to stuff that i haven't talked to in a while. and metaphysical sex is teh bomb! i can't get pregnant... but i wish i knew what/who i was having sex with. hmm..

Date: 2006-03-16 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teididh.livejournal.com
Reiki is the best sex toy evar.

Date: 2006-03-16 06:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
That is wonderful news, on all fronts. I'm glad to hear that all the new meds are working out, or are at least interesting.

Thank you. We should talk more, soon.

Date: 2006-03-16 02:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] michette.livejournal.com
come visit me at the next Hexxt event!

i can list you and girly if money is a problem. can't supply the ride or booze though (i don't drink anymore).

Date: 2006-03-16 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unknownbinaries.livejournal.com
Stories Don't tend to come when asked...

I want to See again. I want to light the sky and then tear it open.

I want to quit being down on myself, to be able to really see me how you do.

I want my computer, and a Wacom tablet, so I can make the things in my head, again.

Date: 2006-03-16 06:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
I know they don't. But i also forgot that every statement holds a story, within it. I didn't really need to ask, that part.

I don't know how to make the middle part happen, and even if I did, it's not for me to Make Happen. But I'll help however I can.

Date: 2006-03-16 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] razelore.livejournal.com
There is no reason why I am here, no more than any of the rest of us. We say, oh, I'm the great reason, I'm the one, I'm the only thing that matters, what the hell difference does it make? I'm no more important than anyone else, and no one is more important than me. This struggle for understanding, for longing, for a reason to belong, believe, exist, anything. It's all garbage. There is no solid proof any of us exist. We're a fluke, humanity rumbles along like a cast off from some Wellsian wetdream of oil and horror and sweat and opium smoke. Gathering speed towards its decent, down the long road to oblivion. I welcome our decline/decay. I want the world to start over, the ivory towers to fall. I want to have to live off the fat of the land and the flesh of my fellow man. I want this so badly I'm almost tempted to vote republican. I want all this technology I love so much to fail. I want us to huddle for warmth around stacks of burning banknotes. I want every psychopathic deranged killer in the world given a knife and a roll of duct tape and sent into world with tears of joy in their eyes and blood already drying on thier hands. You want a vision of the future? Of the chaos and anarchy that's coming? I want the end of days. I want to be terrified out of my mind, crying, weeping, pissing myself as something bigger and stronger comes along to make me into a meal. But I don't just want this for myself, I want this for everyone.

You want something that means something to me? Endings, endings mean something. All that ever matters is how close to Happily Ever After we get.

Date: 2006-03-17 06:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
The end gives it purpose, because we can look back and see what we did. Our means and ends are inextricably linked.

Date: 2006-03-20 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tribeofone.livejournal.com
ah, see I just did this in my last post so ththtththhththt

Date: 2006-03-21 01:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
Yeah, i noticed. Still trying to process.
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