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wolven7Oingo Boingo - [Islands]--- Forget what i said, earlier, about the women and the turn around, and them speaking to me more. Didn't happen. She flaked out on me. Oh well. Maybe there's a good reason, right? Right. Whatever. i don't really care about good reasons, right now.
Oingo Boingo - [Just Another Day]--- One of my roommates just told me that she felt really lonely, and alone, right now. I didn't say anything. What are you supposed to say to that, when your first answer is "Grab a beer and join the fucking club."? Because, honestly, that's the only advice i can give them, at that point. I like this beer. Sam Adams Winter Lager. It's pretty good. Bitter. Dark. Fits my mood...
"There's razors in my bed,
That come out late at night,
They always disappear,
Before the morning light."
Anyway, I'm not too thrilled with my existence, right now, or, rather, the manifestation thereof. (Oingo Boingo - [Stay]). It seems that, as i've said, there is nothing for me to Find, here, of lasting Emotional, "Romantic" happiness, unless i take the time to Make it, myself. I can accept that... It may make people think i'm insane, and may be horridly "unfair," in comparison, but i can handle that. What i don't like handling is the fact that the creating of it seems to be riddled with just enough distractions and setbacks that i don't get any real work done, at any good pace.... (Oingo Boingo - [Insanity]). So why don't i just Stop focussing on the other shite, and Create, you ask? Well, because the Other stuff includes Job, Rent, People, and Friends.
So the question truly becomes, "Which set is more important? Lasting emotional happiness, and explaining to everything else why you can't pay attention to it, or doing what works, for now, and hoping that you get through, and find something else?" Hrm... I think that i'll choose answer... Fuck You? Yeah, i like that one. *snarl* Where's my donuts? Where's my Brass ring? Can i get something nice, just a Snack, or a Taste of glory, to hold me over, in the interim tyme? Something?
Oingo Boingo - [Where Do All My Friends Go]--- And i wonder why most women don't want me. (Warning: blanket, selfish statement.) There's always going to be something wrong, unless i make it myself. Fine, i'll make it myself, which is sick, and somewhat Mad-Scientist-Like, of me, but whatever, BUT why do i get the distinct feeling that this is nothing but a delay tactic? There's nothing i can do to make my life go smoothly and Create at full tilt...I'll be fucking 60, by the tyme i'm done with the Creation... Fuck that... Fuck a BUNCHA that. All i want is something that i can work at, something HERE and something Good. Not something that's going to, for whatever reasons, come crashing down around my ears.
Oingo Boingo - [Mama]--- I want help, but that's not feasible. How can anyone else help me with this, in any way that isn't merely, for lack of a better term, a Pity Fuck? They can't, really. Not and have me get what i'm actually looking for... Someone asked me, tonyte, if i was creating myself a Soul Mate. My answer to them was "Oh GODS, No!" That's stupid and painful to attempt. And not my place. If i have one i have one, if I don't, i Don't. All i'm looking for is a companion. Someone to make this tyme here a bit more bearable, and less excruciating. Her soul is her own, and can be mated to Azazel's, for all i care, at this point. If it needs to go somewhere, whatever, but i am not, consciously, working to create myself a soul-mate. (Oingo Boingo - [Winning Side]). Maybe that's what i'm doing unconsciously, thusly fulfilling some Plan. But i have to say that shows, in me, the Heighth of Narcissism, and all Kinds of fucked up disorders, according to Human Standard Psychological Evaluation. And considering that i'm working within a human set, at the moment, those things are kind of hard to see the Big Picture through...
Oingo Boingo - [Spider (Mono, Right Chan Only)]--- Anyway... I've rambled on, long enough, here... i should probably go to bed, before i confuse myself... I want a Job. I want Romantic Love that will/can Work/is even (think about it), and i want, at the end of the Whole Bag, happiness... These are small things that work toward the big things... but i've started rambling, again... Fuck it. I'm goin' for another beer. G'nyte.
Dream Well
Oingo Boingo - [Just Another Day]--- One of my roommates just told me that she felt really lonely, and alone, right now. I didn't say anything. What are you supposed to say to that, when your first answer is "Grab a beer and join the fucking club."? Because, honestly, that's the only advice i can give them, at that point. I like this beer. Sam Adams Winter Lager. It's pretty good. Bitter. Dark. Fits my mood...
"There's razors in my bed,
That come out late at night,
They always disappear,
Before the morning light."
Anyway, I'm not too thrilled with my existence, right now, or, rather, the manifestation thereof. (Oingo Boingo - [Stay]). It seems that, as i've said, there is nothing for me to Find, here, of lasting Emotional, "Romantic" happiness, unless i take the time to Make it, myself. I can accept that... It may make people think i'm insane, and may be horridly "unfair," in comparison, but i can handle that. What i don't like handling is the fact that the creating of it seems to be riddled with just enough distractions and setbacks that i don't get any real work done, at any good pace.... (Oingo Boingo - [Insanity]). So why don't i just Stop focussing on the other shite, and Create, you ask? Well, because the Other stuff includes Job, Rent, People, and Friends.
So the question truly becomes, "Which set is more important? Lasting emotional happiness, and explaining to everything else why you can't pay attention to it, or doing what works, for now, and hoping that you get through, and find something else?" Hrm... I think that i'll choose answer... Fuck You? Yeah, i like that one. *snarl* Where's my donuts? Where's my Brass ring? Can i get something nice, just a Snack, or a Taste of glory, to hold me over, in the interim tyme? Something?
Oingo Boingo - [Where Do All My Friends Go]--- And i wonder why most women don't want me. (Warning: blanket, selfish statement.) There's always going to be something wrong, unless i make it myself. Fine, i'll make it myself, which is sick, and somewhat Mad-Scientist-Like, of me, but whatever, BUT why do i get the distinct feeling that this is nothing but a delay tactic? There's nothing i can do to make my life go smoothly and Create at full tilt...I'll be fucking 60, by the tyme i'm done with the Creation... Fuck that... Fuck a BUNCHA that. All i want is something that i can work at, something HERE and something Good. Not something that's going to, for whatever reasons, come crashing down around my ears.
Oingo Boingo - [Mama]--- I want help, but that's not feasible. How can anyone else help me with this, in any way that isn't merely, for lack of a better term, a Pity Fuck? They can't, really. Not and have me get what i'm actually looking for... Someone asked me, tonyte, if i was creating myself a Soul Mate. My answer to them was "Oh GODS, No!" That's stupid and painful to attempt. And not my place. If i have one i have one, if I don't, i Don't. All i'm looking for is a companion. Someone to make this tyme here a bit more bearable, and less excruciating. Her soul is her own, and can be mated to Azazel's, for all i care, at this point. If it needs to go somewhere, whatever, but i am not, consciously, working to create myself a soul-mate. (Oingo Boingo - [Winning Side]). Maybe that's what i'm doing unconsciously, thusly fulfilling some Plan. But i have to say that shows, in me, the Heighth of Narcissism, and all Kinds of fucked up disorders, according to Human Standard Psychological Evaluation. And considering that i'm working within a human set, at the moment, those things are kind of hard to see the Big Picture through...
Oingo Boingo - [Spider (Mono, Right Chan Only)]--- Anyway... I've rambled on, long enough, here... i should probably go to bed, before i confuse myself... I want a Job. I want Romantic Love that will/can Work/is even (think about it), and i want, at the end of the Whole Bag, happiness... These are small things that work toward the big things... but i've started rambling, again... Fuck it. I'm goin' for another beer. G'nyte.
Dream Well
