More Mockery From the Fates.
Apr. 30th, 2002 01:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7Sealab 2021Today's aspects should help stabilize your nervous equilibrium, which has been overstressed lately, Wolven. Your capacity for concentration is going to increase, which will allow you to accept confronting and dealing with all those thorny professional problems that you have been avoiding. You will feel stronger and more confident, and those around you will notice...
Anyway, i really don't want to be in the damn house right now. i want to go somewhere, have a nice quiet conversation with someone, sit down, have a smoke, maybe have some coffee and something to eat. But no. Everyone is going to sleep, leaving me with NOTHING TO DO, NOWHERE TO GO, and FAR TO MUCH ENERGY. So i'm fucked. i really don't want to be in the house, yet there isn't anything i can do about it, right now, because, like a slacker, and the true looser that i am, i don't have my liscence or a car. This shall have to be recified, soon. Very Soon.
Cake - [Friend]--- i hear what i want to hear, when i'm upset, and all i seem to want to hear is the grating noise of people being human in my general direction. People had finals today. People had stress. i had stress too. i had two fucking essay tests, and i have two ten page papers due by the end of the week, thank you very much. And all i wanted was to leave the fucking house. all i wanted was some quiet tyme, and perhaps some conversation in the Waffle House. But no. i get, instead, people around the house yelling, playing video games, watching TV, and doing fifty billion other things, all at once.
David Bowie - [I Have Not Been to Oxford]--- This song reminds me of John Constantine, right now. Anyway, the grating, jangled, jumbled noise of the Background was only able to be stomached for so long, before i had to curl up into a little ball on the floor, and then retire to my room to read. This shit has to stop. Relaxation is key. i cannot relax, without the proper conditions.These conditions seem to not want to present themelves to me, nor am i able to catch them.
This is shit. everyone is asleep, here, now, and i'm up alone. Fuck them. i do NOT want to be here. And had i a car, i would not be here. i would be somewhere very much other. Waffle House, or the park, or Quick Trip, or anywhere not Here. (God Lives Underwater - [Happy]) Because "Here" is closed and close, and alone, and there are nothing but my own near-rabid thoughts to keep me company, at the moment, and i'm writing, without even seeing if there are others online who would care to talk, but that still requires me being here, doesn't it? Here, on this machine, in this house. Not out. Not somewhere with space. And in the end, that's what it comes down to.
i've felt slightly claustrophobic, since mid-afternoon, and now it's risen iteself to a head. i can either sleep, and soar and have all the space i want, or i can stay up and try to achieve my goals in the waking. Which do you think has the greater likelihoood of success? There is nothing, in the waking, right now, that will satisfy my neuroses. So what do i do, instead of going to bed, where i may have some semblance of peace? i sit up and i bitch, and i try to find something else. Hah. Good job, Wolven. Self-Depreciation, too. We've reached old depths.
i'm going to go find some caffeine. Next tyme you hear from me, i should be better. i hope.
Good Nytes. Good Days. Dream Well
Anyway, i really don't want to be in the damn house right now. i want to go somewhere, have a nice quiet conversation with someone, sit down, have a smoke, maybe have some coffee and something to eat. But no. Everyone is going to sleep, leaving me with NOTHING TO DO, NOWHERE TO GO, and FAR TO MUCH ENERGY. So i'm fucked. i really don't want to be in the house, yet there isn't anything i can do about it, right now, because, like a slacker, and the true looser that i am, i don't have my liscence or a car. This shall have to be recified, soon. Very Soon.
Cake - [Friend]--- i hear what i want to hear, when i'm upset, and all i seem to want to hear is the grating noise of people being human in my general direction. People had finals today. People had stress. i had stress too. i had two fucking essay tests, and i have two ten page papers due by the end of the week, thank you very much. And all i wanted was to leave the fucking house. all i wanted was some quiet tyme, and perhaps some conversation in the Waffle House. But no. i get, instead, people around the house yelling, playing video games, watching TV, and doing fifty billion other things, all at once.
David Bowie - [I Have Not Been to Oxford]--- This song reminds me of John Constantine, right now. Anyway, the grating, jangled, jumbled noise of the Background was only able to be stomached for so long, before i had to curl up into a little ball on the floor, and then retire to my room to read. This shit has to stop. Relaxation is key. i cannot relax, without the proper conditions.These conditions seem to not want to present themelves to me, nor am i able to catch them.
This is shit. everyone is asleep, here, now, and i'm up alone. Fuck them. i do NOT want to be here. And had i a car, i would not be here. i would be somewhere very much other. Waffle House, or the park, or Quick Trip, or anywhere not Here. (God Lives Underwater - [Happy]) Because "Here" is closed and close, and alone, and there are nothing but my own near-rabid thoughts to keep me company, at the moment, and i'm writing, without even seeing if there are others online who would care to talk, but that still requires me being here, doesn't it? Here, on this machine, in this house. Not out. Not somewhere with space. And in the end, that's what it comes down to.
i've felt slightly claustrophobic, since mid-afternoon, and now it's risen iteself to a head. i can either sleep, and soar and have all the space i want, or i can stay up and try to achieve my goals in the waking. Which do you think has the greater likelihoood of success? There is nothing, in the waking, right now, that will satisfy my neuroses. So what do i do, instead of going to bed, where i may have some semblance of peace? i sit up and i bitch, and i try to find something else. Hah. Good job, Wolven. Self-Depreciation, too. We've reached old depths.
i'm going to go find some caffeine. Next tyme you hear from me, i should be better. i hope.
Good Nytes. Good Days. Dream Well
