Echoes, again...
Feb. 1st, 2005 11:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7Lizzie West - [Chariots Rise]--- Like my old self, in allthe ways that suck. Too many echoes and empty reflections. Again, empty in that they are not what i want. Who i want. How i want. To follow them, labyrinth-like, is ultimately dissatisfying, and fruitless. It breaks down too many things which are too important to me.
So, in one sense, there is discomfort, the ultimate outcome is far more worth it, yes. (Soft Cell - [Tainted Love (Full Version)]).
So, not a lot of payoff, int he goals department, of recent... I have to learn to let that be ok. It's difficult, because... It's difficult not to feel Owed something. It really is. But no one owes me shit, really, in terms of them, unless they think they do. That's not for me to determine. Just like i don't owe you shit, unless i say i do.
Gradschool preparation is kicking my ass, and i don't feel ready, at all. One of the smartest people i know is feeling out of place, and i don't even know that i'm ready. I also know that, if i wait, i'll not do it. Not on the timetable i've originally set... I'm Fucked. Or so it feels. I need something. Someone, in particular. But that's not feasible, at the moment. So... Yeah....
I've been ignorning guests, for quite some time now, and i invited them, so i'm going to go rectify that.
Tick. Fucking. Tock. Search: "Human."
I'm out....
{2.32am: You might be in the position to expand your professional reach today, WOLVEN. You could encounter important clients or investors. If you speak up and share your business vision with them, something magical could happen. In many ways, you have been preparing to make a bold leap. This could be the day to ask for that new job or that fresh opportunity for leadership. Chances are that you already have a solid record, so ask for what you really want!
Encouraging. G'night.
Dream Well}
So, in one sense, there is discomfort, the ultimate outcome is far more worth it, yes. (Soft Cell - [Tainted Love (Full Version)]).
So, not a lot of payoff, int he goals department, of recent... I have to learn to let that be ok. It's difficult, because... It's difficult not to feel Owed something. It really is. But no one owes me shit, really, in terms of them, unless they think they do. That's not for me to determine. Just like i don't owe you shit, unless i say i do.
Gradschool preparation is kicking my ass, and i don't feel ready, at all. One of the smartest people i know is feeling out of place, and i don't even know that i'm ready. I also know that, if i wait, i'll not do it. Not on the timetable i've originally set... I'm Fucked. Or so it feels. I need something. Someone, in particular. But that's not feasible, at the moment. So... Yeah....
I've been ignorning guests, for quite some time now, and i invited them, so i'm going to go rectify that.
Tick. Fucking. Tock. Search: "Human."
I'm out....
{2.32am: You might be in the position to expand your professional reach today, WOLVEN. You could encounter important clients or investors. If you speak up and share your business vision with them, something magical could happen. In many ways, you have been preparing to make a bold leap. This could be the day to ask for that new job or that fresh opportunity for leadership. Chances are that you already have a solid record, so ask for what you really want!
Encouraging. G'night.
Dream Well}
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Auf Der Maur-Overpower Thee
Date: 2005-02-02 04:28 am (UTC)You CAN do the gradschool things. Just do it, don't think about it, worry about it. Do what Has to be.
Re: Auf Der Maur-Overpower Thee
Thank you. I'm doing. And will be doing. Cannot let myself slack here. Too important.