I said, fucking sign up. It's Free.

[wolven7]

Tom Waits - Top of the Hill--- Cheryl Drozen Crowley.

I'm back in this place, again: I haven't talked to that family, in years. I haven't seen George David, since our Junior years, and i haven't... hadn't... seen his mom, since we were children. (Tom Waits - Hoist that Rag). I could find them. I could find them easily, and talk to them, and send condolensces from a man who hasn't been a true friend, in over 9 years, to the son, or the family. That would just feel... wrong. What do i have to say to them, that they haven't heard? What will it even mean, coming from me, of all people? I'm sure they don't sit and think on days lost, with me, and wonder what might have been. That's a passtime reserved for the introspective, who try to assuage what could turn into regret.

This is whining, and i know that.. but i don't know what else to do, right now. I'm completely surrounded by the deaths and dyings of those for whom i care[d]. Doesn't matter when, simply that i Did. There's not enough time for me to pay proper respects, right now. (Tom Waits - Sins of My Father). There's just so much...

Thursday night, i was riding home, in the car, from School and Oxford comics, and i fell asleep, for a moment, in the car. I had a dream/vision/experience of a woman, with black hair, in all black, kissing me on the right side of my forehead. It came with such a physical component that it woke me up. She was gone, by the time i got it in my head to ask her what that was for.

I asked her, at the hospital last night, but i didn't really need to, at that point, i thought. Then my mother told me about George David's mom. That's the part that got me.

I'm worried that i'm a shitty friend, right now. Because, in my mind, if i were a good friend, no matter how long it had been, i'd call. I'd be there. I'd have been there, in the first place.

I was too young to realise how fucking awesome that woman really was...

Later.

Comments

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

I'm worried that i'm a shitty friend, right now. Because, in my mind, if i were a good friend, no matter how long it had been, i'd call. I'd be there. I'd have been there, in the first place.

The fact that you worry about that, sincerely, automatically makes you not Shitty.

*hugs*

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Thanks love. I still worry. *hugs*

My opinion?

[karishi.livejournal.com]

I recommend you call them anyway. There are never right words for this, and it is never and always the right time. It will be awkward and terribly off-kilter, but it will be right.

Re: My opinion?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Very true.