*sigh* Hmm... How do we do this...
Mar. 22nd, 2002 08:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7Dry Cell - [Body Crumbles]--- So, to start, an explanation: i'm human for a few specific reasons. 1) i'm an arrogant prick, and have never had anything not be easy for me, in some way or another, in the area of realising my wants and dreams. i want it, i tend to create it.
2) i'm too used to being at extremes and in the middle of the road, all at once. (Wayne Static - [Not Meant For Me]) i tend to go to extremes, within myself, concerning emotions, and to be as impartial as possible, when dealing with intellectual considerations.
Thirdly, i needed to be bored. Say what you want about Earth, on a physical level, but it's pretty fucking boring on a metaphysical level. This has been an exercise in boredom, and Damn did it work.
Jay Gordon - [Slept So Long]--- i'm now too bored, and the this world doesn't know how to properly accommodate. The collective reality of this world is rather Mundane, to be blunt. Money, Sex, Food, and fashion are the prime gods of this world, today, and, while there are some who are Aware, they tend to be outweighed by the sheer numbers of Muggles, to steal a term. It's one of the reasons i get so upset. The boredom stopped being relaxing, and started being Annoying.
The thing about the extremes in emotions did have a point. It links in with the adaptability issue. When i adapt to a stance of lower-level caring, in a certain mode, or interpersonal relationship, that caring tends to extend to all of the surrounding relationships (Earshot - [Headstrong]).
Side note: know that these songs are on Random Play.
There is something, within me, that doesn't know how to do emotions in a controlled manner. i don't know how to subdue them, and be more discreet , in those areas. (Chester Bennington - [System]) When i feel something i Feel It. i take it all the way, and if i try to restrain it, it feels unnatural, and icky. This leads to many problems. Say someone asks me to care less, about them. i can do that, no problem. But that less of caring will start to seep into everything, around me, and, unless i cut them out completely, it taints it all. Hence the goals of Singular Adaptability and Emotional Control.
i don't quite know what i'm going to do, yet, in order to reach these goals, but i will certainly keep trying at them. i want, so much, to be able to say "This person needs this, and this person needs this. i can do this for this person, without it affecting everything else. Watch."
Godhead - [Penetrate]--- For those of you who don't know, talking is how i work through things. Talking With people, talking About myself, Talking about the world. i talk until i reach an understanding and a decision, and then i Re/Act, but not until then. My actions need basis. And the easiest way to achieve that basis is talking. With myself, or others. Which ever is pertinent. That is why i need talking from people. If you've wondered why i ask for it, now you know.
Papa Roach - [Dead Cell]--- Oh, and about the first point, way back when, it is difficult to make will manifest in this world. i'm coming to grips with that. Until i can change it. Anyone who thinks that that is a bad idea, is S.O.L., because there's more than just me out there, trying to do this... Thankfully. i've met some of them, recently, and we get along in a Business Acquaintance-Like manner. Other than that, there's not too much going on in my worlds. School, Life, and Bringing my plans to Fruition... Moo hoo ha ha.
Tricky - [Excess]--- i'll check you cats later. "Those people... with their laws, and their ethics. They'll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight..."
2) i'm too used to being at extremes and in the middle of the road, all at once. (Wayne Static - [Not Meant For Me]) i tend to go to extremes, within myself, concerning emotions, and to be as impartial as possible, when dealing with intellectual considerations.
Thirdly, i needed to be bored. Say what you want about Earth, on a physical level, but it's pretty fucking boring on a metaphysical level. This has been an exercise in boredom, and Damn did it work.
Jay Gordon - [Slept So Long]--- i'm now too bored, and the this world doesn't know how to properly accommodate. The collective reality of this world is rather Mundane, to be blunt. Money, Sex, Food, and fashion are the prime gods of this world, today, and, while there are some who are Aware, they tend to be outweighed by the sheer numbers of Muggles, to steal a term. It's one of the reasons i get so upset. The boredom stopped being relaxing, and started being Annoying.
The thing about the extremes in emotions did have a point. It links in with the adaptability issue. When i adapt to a stance of lower-level caring, in a certain mode, or interpersonal relationship, that caring tends to extend to all of the surrounding relationships (Earshot - [Headstrong]).
Side note: know that these songs are on Random Play.
There is something, within me, that doesn't know how to do emotions in a controlled manner. i don't know how to subdue them, and be more discreet , in those areas. (Chester Bennington - [System]) When i feel something i Feel It. i take it all the way, and if i try to restrain it, it feels unnatural, and icky. This leads to many problems. Say someone asks me to care less, about them. i can do that, no problem. But that less of caring will start to seep into everything, around me, and, unless i cut them out completely, it taints it all. Hence the goals of Singular Adaptability and Emotional Control.
i don't quite know what i'm going to do, yet, in order to reach these goals, but i will certainly keep trying at them. i want, so much, to be able to say "This person needs this, and this person needs this. i can do this for this person, without it affecting everything else. Watch."
Godhead - [Penetrate]--- For those of you who don't know, talking is how i work through things. Talking With people, talking About myself, Talking about the world. i talk until i reach an understanding and a decision, and then i Re/Act, but not until then. My actions need basis. And the easiest way to achieve that basis is talking. With myself, or others. Which ever is pertinent. That is why i need talking from people. If you've wondered why i ask for it, now you know.
Papa Roach - [Dead Cell]--- Oh, and about the first point, way back when, it is difficult to make will manifest in this world. i'm coming to grips with that. Until i can change it. Anyone who thinks that that is a bad idea, is S.O.L., because there's more than just me out there, trying to do this... Thankfully. i've met some of them, recently, and we get along in a Business Acquaintance-Like manner. Other than that, there's not too much going on in my worlds. School, Life, and Bringing my plans to Fruition... Moo hoo ha ha.
Tricky - [Excess]--- i'll check you cats later. "Those people... with their laws, and their ethics. They'll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight..."
no subject
Date: 2002-03-22 05:40 pm (UTC)If you are arrogant, and find that Will is a lot harder to manifest in this world as compared to other places you've been, what lesson do you think that holds for you? What is the purpose of your being made to deal with that issue for the time being?
From my point of view, being able to Feel very strong, deep, often extreme emotions is a gift...many people are so numb and cold as to not have feelings like that...emotion can be the inspiration and driving force for a lot of good things...I don't think you need to Do emotions in a controlled manner....it's more about how you Apply them. You can still feel a lot of things but be choosy as to how you act on them. And I think that may be where the problem lies....it's How you act on them...you can have the same general feeling (of caring, for example) for a lot of people, but how you apply that feeling to your actions with each individual person is what will affect them most. So...how could you differentiate in such ways through your emotional actions and interactions? Would it also be a matter of Will?
The earth may be boring to you, metaphysically....but that boredom forces you to focus better on the things that do matter at any given time. Such as this. And you are not tied entirely to this plane. ;-) It's not like you can't have fun somewhere else once in awhile....
Apologies if I sound pretentious or make assumptions in any part of this post. Unintentional.
-Sister Anonymous
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