Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Or "I've missed you."

[wolven7]

Praxis - [Interface-Stimulation Loop]--- I've been having very fragmented dreams, and waking up at least three times, during every morning. Doesn't matter when i'm trying to wake up, or when i go to bed, it's always at leats three times, and each time, i don't feel tired, at all, but i fall back asleep. (Johnny Cash - [The Man Comes Around]). I'll dream, in these chunks of sleep, but i have the hardest time remembering these dreams, because they're so rushed, and fragmentary, and i don't know what to do about it. I keep dreaming about training people, or talking to people about preparations. I dream about people who were good, nice people turning into total assholes, wtih the advent of power. Last night, dreamed of Harry Potter turning into some kind of arrogant, evil messiah, believing himself better than Everyone, and ruling all with an iron fist.

There was something else, in there, about talking to raoin, and wandering around the mall, in my head. I don't remember it, too well... There's too much... Blah.

I've recently had someone say to me that i'm "obsessed with my dreams." (Louis Jordan - [Beans and Corn Bread]). Personally, i don't think that's fair to call an obsession, as dreams are, in my opinion and case, an integral window into my workings. They clarify things on my mind, and they allow me to get an over-view of a lot of situations. So i disect them, and try to understand them, and writing them down, and being able to see them? Easiest way for me to get them out there, so that they aer both part of me, and out in the world.

MDFMK - [Transmutation]--- I had one of the servers, last night, at R. Thomas, tell me that i seemed like an intense intellectual, who has discussions about 15th century Japanese poetry. That bugged me, a bit, because that's not exactly true. I have a modicum of intelligence, and that's what i ask of those around me. Intelligence meaning, not Willful Ignorance, because if you're willing and open to learn, the rest is simply allowing and/or making yourself. {That, and the fact that i know nearly nothing of 15th century Japanese poetry.} But, yeah, so this kept on, a bit, and it got to the point where Bob, drstrangeal, and I wrote her haiku. Bob and drstrangeal came up with two of their own, and i just wrote down one from Bashō. (MC Paul Barman - [Vulture Shark Sculpture Park]). It was "Autumn Evening," which fit, because of her name. We decided to take a potential misconception, which could be a blockage to friendship, and turn it into something nice... She seemed really surprised. And that intellectual thing, as drstrangeal said, "really stuck in our craws."

Because we hate to seem pretentious. When you're done laughing, can we continue? Anyway, the shit we talk about the things we wonder, it's all shit that is really on our minds, not because we want to sound smart or cool, but because we fucking wonder about these things. (Auf der Maur - [I Need I Want I Will]). And "intellectual" carries a connotation of pretention, which is... bothersome, to say the least. Preten-tions mean preten-ders. And that's... disquieting, for at least a moment, even if you are secure in yourself. And so it was.

People. Strange, strange things. Every conversation feels like some fucked up interview, these days, and i don't have the fucking patience to make notes. You all get the job. Report tomorrow, and we'll discuss your job parameters, and how you plan to achieve the goals we've agreed upon. Thank you.

Changing the universe, one something at a time.

Later

Comments

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

Being called intelligent or intellectual isn't a bad thing, it's only when you start very seriously referring to yourself as such that there's a problem. That's when you need a pie in the face or somesuch.

Jack Off Jill - [Losing His Touch]

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That may be the problem... That most of the people i've known to refer to themselves as such have been... wankers. Thusly, having someone else apply that label to me makes with the ew, on lots of levels.

Intelligence and intellectualism are different things, to me. One implies a measure of learning and thought, on certain things, because they appeal and mesh, the other the need to find "Smart" things to talk about, to make an impression..

[ladymerrydeath.livejournal.com]

Would it make you feel any better if I called you a smarty-pants instead of an intellectual? *smirks in defiance*

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That at least has no potential for malice. Generally it's poking fun, and appreciation.

Ms. Smarty-Pants. :P ^_^

*gasp*

[ladymerrydeath.livejournal.com]

I'm a smarty-pants too? How'd I do that?

Youse a stinker too!

Re: *gasp*

[wolven.livejournal.com]

By being intelligent and strong willed, and opinionated, in the good ways. ^_^

So's you. Heheheh.

Re: *gasp*

[ladymerrydeath.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwwwwwww man.....

Re: *gasp*

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Yer welcome. ^_^

[teididh.livejournal.com]

you subject line for this entry completely sums up the feelings i have for several people for whom i still care and yet have not called in (sometimes literally) years.

and still i think about them regularly...like some of them every week or so...

isn't that a strange state of detached aquaintance/friendship/love?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It really, really is.