"Cause I was told not to tell you things."

[wolven7]

I am full of hatred, anger, and bewilderment. (V.A.S.T. - [Pretty When You Cry]). I was talkiong to someone about some problems they were having, and they told me that they hoped it didn't wind up with everyone knowing, cause someone told them not to tell me things. Meaning that, according to someone, i'm fucking untrustworthy. This hurts on a lot of levels.

First of fucking all, i thought we all had this discussion. If there's a problem, with me, or i've hurt you, in some way, or betrayed your trust, fucking tell me. Yell at me, say you never want to see me again, what the fuck ever, but do it to my face. Telling people not to trust me, and i don't even know what i did, to deserve that fucking label? What good does that serve anyone? Jesus fucking tapdancing monkey Christ.... For another thing, what the FUCK?! (Mai Yamane& The SEATBELTS - [Blue]). I don't go around telling people's business, as far as i know, without their say so. If i'm like, telling people's shit, or using it as emotional or mental blackmail, or guilt, or some shit, then i honestly don't know that i am doing that, and, again, the wronged parties should fucking tell me. So that i can Fix it.

I was... almost having a good day. Missed busses, late to class, weird days, late lunch, shit like that, but then that... Then that. That fucking bothers.

I was thinking about this, on the bus ride home, and i thought about all the things it could be, and i saw myself kind of taking in things that people tell me. Not doing anything with it, not using it against them, simply.. Knowing about it... And i'm of the.. Special type of mind set, such that i can see that Knowing something in a certain way, could bother someone... Could make them uncomfortable. But, somehow, i don't quite think that that's all of it.

On the upside, i read some new Hellblazer, today. (Nellie McKay - [Clonie]). "Son of Man," trade paperback. It was awesome. In my opinion, Hellblazer is always good stuff, but when Ennis writes, it's at its very best. Hmm... Yeah. I'm the helloff to do other things.

Later, all.

Comments

...

[mahajarabali.livejournal.com]

isn't thte backstabbing actually a sign of untrustworthiness on their part? try not to let it get to you.

Re: ...

[wolven.livejournal.com]

As i said, in response to another comment, much earlier, this morning: It's all Bullshit.

Screw it.

Well..

[mendori.livejournal.com]

I for one find you one of the most trustworthy people I know. I've told you things I'd dare not tell others, for fear theyd call the men in the long white coats on me (heh), yet you never have. And I expect that I'll long outlive you, so I have no worry about you telling my biographers anything.

Re: Well..

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Thank you, for that...

As far as outliving me, only in a computer, maybe. And by that point all of my other plans, should have come to fruition, so if anyone doesn't know you, at least by your Own doings, then, they weren't paying attention. ^_^

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

Mrr. People are...people. And say/do/believe stupid things, a lot. And if anyone thinks you're untrustworthy, then, well, they can't be very close to you.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you, for that.