Reading, again. Ain't you proud?
Dec. 25th, 2003 11:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7Welcome, one and all. I've been thinking, again, and you know what that means... That's Right! Time, once again, for Uncle Wolven's Thoughts to Make Your Brain Explode!
Tonight's considerations: "Ka is a Wheel."
Of the reasonable amount of things i received, for Christ's Mass, one was The Dark Tower V: The Wolves of the Calla. Now, as some of you may have realised, when i read the Tower, things get a little... clickweave, skitter skitter skitter, in me gulliver, like. And i've realised something... Again. Ka. Not Destiny, not Fate, not the over-ruler of Free Will, soemwhere between all three, and meshing, perfectly, with all ideals of understanding and freedom. Ka is... the binding force. That which drives everything foward. Crisis, Choice, The universe, Perception, Undertanding. All of it. And Ka is a wheel.
Ka turns, and people you thought gone from your life reappear in interesting and disquieting ways. Unless you remember that Ka is a wheel. All things fall on it, in it, around it, as the spokes of it. And Ka reminds you, as long as you remember it. Without Ka, there would be no finding people in circles, as often as we do. It would lack that eerie meaning, we seem to ascribe it, at any rate. And, therefore, the actual meaning. You should know me well enough, by now, to know what i mean, by that. Because our ascribed meanings are the ones that matter. That which we place, and have placed, and reinforced, and that which we, ultimately, and always on our very own, decide is the real and tru way of the world. You dig.
It is this fundamental fact i seem to have surfacingly forgotten, in my desperate search for air and life, above the damn near endless sea into which i've thrown myself, of late. I didn't accept that these things have the underlying meanings we set into motion at the certain choices we make. And so i [was] affected [by] surprise. Anyway, that settled, there are things of which i constantly need to remind myself. Duh.
And another thing. You all know that i am, at current, not as sound in my sciences, as i should be, especially not my bio-chemical sciences, but i'm wondering something. Something that may seem patently obvious, to anyone else, out there. The imbalnaced chemicals which may or may not cause text-book depression... how connected are they to the rest of the chemical factors, which lead to the other strong emotions? I ask, because i've noticed that every depression medication on the market has some form of sexual side-effect. And if i'm wrong there, please let me know. But from what i've seen, there is, always side-effect, even if it is only a "low occurence."
And so... i'm thinking.. as i always do, with these kinds of things.... "At what price?" But, as per usual, maybe i'm being overly dramatic. Eh...
Ka.
I'm going to go read, some more. More GEB: an EGB, this time.
Later.
{12.03am: Here is the perfect day to be in a light-hearted frame of mind, WOLVEN! Sometimes, it feels just great to feel like a child again! Today, you can take a well-deserved break from the seriousness of life. Don't hesitate to let yourself go! A little relaxation will only have minor consequences but will do you a world of good!
I certainly hope so...
{{12.35 am: I can't believe that i fogot the fact that... everyone you meet, you meet for a reason, and to never EVER expect them to be fully gone from your life, as they will always leaver (lever?) reverberations, either in the Flesh, or in the simple (HA! Never "simple") memory of them. That Ka is a Wheel.
That every life you touch and which therefore touches You is forever a part of your Ka, your Khef, and your Centre Being. Even if you sever them from the threads of your life, you... are left with the memories. Across Multiverses and meanings...
The You that is Everything remembers the hollow, where that thread used to be, and the removal of That thread chnaged the position, if only in Fibres, of all the threads near it...
Ripples in a pond.
I know that not everyone sees it that way... But it's how i see it. How it makes sense, to me, and how it's always been for me. And, more importantly, how i've always liked it. And i forgot it... Didn't consciously choose something else. Didn't say "This is the way that makes sense, now..." Simply... forgot... and continued to wonder aloud, and act surprised when things... Fell into place... Unhappily surprised. Otherwise, i wouldn't complain ;)
But, as they say, that's time gone. It's over, and i realised it... Simply another harsh lesson to make me remember to pay more attention to what the fuck i'm doing, in my life, you know?
Didn't mean to take up your time... Christ Mass Revelations. Personal notes...
I've always liked "G".
Dream Well}}}
Tonight's considerations: "Ka is a Wheel."
Of the reasonable amount of things i received, for Christ's Mass, one was The Dark Tower V: The Wolves of the Calla. Now, as some of you may have realised, when i read the Tower, things get a little... clickweave, skitter skitter skitter, in me gulliver, like. And i've realised something... Again. Ka. Not Destiny, not Fate, not the over-ruler of Free Will, soemwhere between all three, and meshing, perfectly, with all ideals of understanding and freedom. Ka is... the binding force. That which drives everything foward. Crisis, Choice, The universe, Perception, Undertanding. All of it. And Ka is a wheel.
Ka turns, and people you thought gone from your life reappear in interesting and disquieting ways. Unless you remember that Ka is a wheel. All things fall on it, in it, around it, as the spokes of it. And Ka reminds you, as long as you remember it. Without Ka, there would be no finding people in circles, as often as we do. It would lack that eerie meaning, we seem to ascribe it, at any rate. And, therefore, the actual meaning. You should know me well enough, by now, to know what i mean, by that. Because our ascribed meanings are the ones that matter. That which we place, and have placed, and reinforced, and that which we, ultimately, and always on our very own, decide is the real and tru way of the world. You dig.
It is this fundamental fact i seem to have surfacingly forgotten, in my desperate search for air and life, above the damn near endless sea into which i've thrown myself, of late. I didn't accept that these things have the underlying meanings we set into motion at the certain choices we make. And so i [was] affected [by] surprise. Anyway, that settled, there are things of which i constantly need to remind myself. Duh.
And another thing. You all know that i am, at current, not as sound in my sciences, as i should be, especially not my bio-chemical sciences, but i'm wondering something. Something that may seem patently obvious, to anyone else, out there. The imbalnaced chemicals which may or may not cause text-book depression... how connected are they to the rest of the chemical factors, which lead to the other strong emotions? I ask, because i've noticed that every depression medication on the market has some form of sexual side-effect. And if i'm wrong there, please let me know. But from what i've seen, there is, always side-effect, even if it is only a "low occurence."
And so... i'm thinking.. as i always do, with these kinds of things.... "At what price?" But, as per usual, maybe i'm being overly dramatic. Eh...
Ka.
I'm going to go read, some more. More GEB: an EGB, this time.
Later.
{12.03am: Here is the perfect day to be in a light-hearted frame of mind, WOLVEN! Sometimes, it feels just great to feel like a child again! Today, you can take a well-deserved break from the seriousness of life. Don't hesitate to let yourself go! A little relaxation will only have minor consequences but will do you a world of good!
I certainly hope so...
{{12.35 am: I can't believe that i fogot the fact that... everyone you meet, you meet for a reason, and to never EVER expect them to be fully gone from your life, as they will always leaver (lever?) reverberations, either in the Flesh, or in the simple (HA! Never "simple") memory of them. That Ka is a Wheel.
That every life you touch and which therefore touches You is forever a part of your Ka, your Khef, and your Centre Being. Even if you sever them from the threads of your life, you... are left with the memories. Across Multiverses and meanings...
The You that is Everything remembers the hollow, where that thread used to be, and the removal of That thread chnaged the position, if only in Fibres, of all the threads near it...
Ripples in a pond.
I know that not everyone sees it that way... But it's how i see it. How it makes sense, to me, and how it's always been for me. And, more importantly, how i've always liked it. And i forgot it... Didn't consciously choose something else. Didn't say "This is the way that makes sense, now..." Simply... forgot... and continued to wonder aloud, and act surprised when things... Fell into place... Unhappily surprised. Otherwise, i wouldn't complain ;)
But, as they say, that's time gone. It's over, and i realised it... Simply another harsh lesson to make me remember to pay more attention to what the fuck i'm doing, in my life, you know?
Didn't mean to take up your time... Christ Mass Revelations. Personal notes...
I've always liked "G".
Dream Well}}}
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
round and around and around and around
Date: 2003-12-25 08:55 pm (UTC)Re: round and around and around and around
Ok, but you don't get to see how it all turns out, that way...
Maybe that allure's just for us enders, though...
RE: round and around and around and around
Date: 2003-12-25 09:05 pm (UTC)Re: round and around and around and around
Maybe not... But i think that Ka encompasses life, and death, and no life, and the conception of nothing that we have when we're Thinged.
That beyond Ka is true Void.... and that maybe even that is part of Ka... and Vice Versa...
I babble... nevermind.
Re: round and around and around and around
Date: 2003-12-26 04:39 pm (UTC)I'm not saying you should start/stop caring, just that apparently, you don't go where you go: you go where Ka led you.
Re: round and around and around and around
There is always Always choice. It's simply that, sometimes, Some choices keep presenting themselves, over and over, until you do what they want. You can make other choices, as long as you're prepared to accept the consequences. But that's Always the way of things. :)
15 to 16
Date: 2003-12-25 11:03 pm (UTC)as for "The imbalnaced chemicals which may or may not cause text-book depression... how connected are they to the rest of the chemical factors, which lead to the other strong emotions?"
they are incredibly interconnected, that is why the psychiatric drugs are the most interesting. Clinical text book depression can be treated through diet, I have been doing it that way for most of the last 12 years. It was a live of taking pills every day stay "stable" or learning to cope with out the pills. I think it is mental training and discipline has been a large part of it but, no more pills for me in over seven years and that last time was only for a few weeks. If you want I still have a copy of "basic Neurochemistry" a text book for future neuroscienctists/doctors I do want it back but it will keep you busy for a good month or two.
Re: 15 to 16
And, yeah. All of that was stuff i "Knew," just needed to be sure i aws remembering all the details.
Too many books, at the moment. See me, around Spring.
Re: 15 to 16
Date: 2003-12-26 04:42 pm (UTC)Re: 15 to 16
Date: 2003-12-27 02:03 pm (UTC)1 a good multivitamin that has lots of minerals including the one that are not "necessary" like magnesium nature's own is a good brand but they are kinda pricey they have a good multi vitamin as well as a good mineral supplement
2 chocolate the darker the better it is the 300plus funky alcolodis that your after so you need the dark stuff as it has higher amounts of actual chocolate and less sugar start with a half a bar a day
3 hot peppers, chilis, curries, etc. daily as well they also do cool stuff to your brain chemisty and after a while you get addicted to them
4 establish better eating habits lots of fresh (not canned) vegitables high protein moderate fats and carbs the FDA food pyramid works pretty well with only a few modifications the trick is eating one way for two weeks and monitoring how your reacting to it then adding more fats or carbs and trying that for two weeks and allowing yourself to have a bad day once in a while
If your just wanting books try any of the hippy food stores (natural food) or, herb shops and dig threw their books as well as the public library.
I have found that I need a realativly high protien high fat diet even with the spices and chocolate but that I stay pretty balanced of course the withdrawls from the meds I was taking left me bummed out and getting over the "drugs that will help me" was a real bitch wierd withdrawl issues the main thing is to keep up with it and ween your self off any pharmacuticals slowly as if you have been on them for any lenght
Re: 15 to 16
Date: 2003-12-27 08:27 pm (UTC)Re: 15 to 16
Date: 2003-12-27 10:08 pm (UTC)if you decide to try it let me know and remember the "good drugs" if your on any, your probably addicted to physically so expect a few days of feeling like ass as you begin to ween your self off them If you tell me what they are I can give some added suggestions as to what to eat/ supplements to help
I don't Need to.....
Date: 2003-12-25 11:04 pm (UTC)Re: I don't Need to.....
MerryHappy.
Re: I don't Need to.....
Date: 2003-12-25 11:19 pm (UTC)Re: I don't Need to.....