Crises of Faith
Sep. 21st, 2003 05:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7Danny Elfman - [The Cat Is Dead]--- Recently, i've noticed that many of the people i know are changing the things they believe about the world, or have had a lapse in Self-Ness. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
michette and i were talking about it, Friday night/Saturday morning, in terms of people seeming smaller or larger, in the essences of Them. (Wümpscüt - [Krieg]). Some people have lost, or think they have lost, or aren't refracting and reflecting in exactly the way they want to be. It causes a dissonance, in them, and their manner changes, in the stuttery, twitchy, kind of way, until they notice it, accept it, change it, integrate it, whatever, but Certainly until the realise that it's there.
I've recently gone through the same thing, myself, as i'm sure you could notice. The rationalisation, justification, and over-all unsurety of Self, i displayed. There were a lot of factors that lead into that, but that's ok. I realised it, and am working at changing it. (Claude Debussy - [La Mer (3 symphonic)]). Because that's not me, as i am, nor as i Want me to be. My point, here, is that it happens to everyone, at some point. It seems to be happening, a lot, lately. People questioning what they believe, doubting the self, {often} in the bad ways that make you forget how to fly, mid-stabilisation motion, and not remembering how to turn it around, how to Find that surety, again...
Because it has to come from the inside, really. It has to be about remembering what you're Trying to do, in life, what you Are and Want to be. Intentionality, and Will. There are a lot of people who've changed what they believe, and, at the very least, how they view themselves. Some of them don't seem to realise it, because, in their heads, it's a natural progression... The lines of internal "This Happened/I Deserve This/Why Me" aren't as visible to the external world, though, no matter how well you know the person. And, when you don't expres with people, because that's part of the problem, solution, interwoven mixture, then it's going to be Really difficult. Communication is alwyas key.
I'm rambling, i know. I'm going to continue to do so. Soemtimes, for the external view, because, though they Know [of] you, they Aren't you, it makes it possible for the people in your life to give perspective. One of the things that friends are for, yes? Yes. And they can't do that, if they dopn't have facts, understadings, ideas of what's going on in your head. Hence, asking your friends "What the fuck is going through your head?!" It is a priviledge of Friendship to be able to do that, and work from there. (Jack Off Jill - [American Made]). As an aside: Any of you, reading this, (who i KNOW, who are reading this, really...) can ask me that, if you think i need it... And i'll do my best to truthfully answer you. The thing that brought this up is... more than one thing.
I was blind-sided by a change in someone's beliefs, and the fact that they didn't think they could talk to me, about it; i've been watching a couple of people i know die, on the inside; i've been watching people forget bits of themselves, perceive themselves differently, and so on. (Eire Og - [Irish National Anthem]). So, it's all kind of hitting me, at the same time. Also, i've seen friends and family grow more and more accepting of who they are, and more solid and Sure of who and what they want to Be. (Pain - [In a Band]). It boils down to the fact that I'm being confronted with Changes in perception of SElves, for good and bad, and sometimes both, and then one after the other, and so on, and it makes me wonder... What's Happening, here? Why the seemingly immense amounts of flux, all at once, now? Or is my perception simply Looking for it, at the moment, in a way that i'm noticing That pattern, because i just put myself through it? All possibilities... But the key factor is that i need to talk to people. To look at the ones at whom i have not yet looked and just go ahead and ask them what the hell is going through their heads, and let them do the same, to me...
I need to talk to people, and figure out where we all, are, basically. (Pain - [Easy Out]). Because our outward reflections have been changing, and at a faster pace than we, ourselves, may have realised. And seeing that from outside can get to the point where it's merely ocnfusing... So, to begin, here's the opening gambit, to all of you: What the hell is going through your heads? Answer here, in person, on the phone, or through email. Or not at all. Whatever makes you comfortable.
Simply throwing it out there.
michette and i were talking about it, Friday night/Saturday morning, in terms of people seeming smaller or larger, in the essences of Them. (Wümpscüt - [Krieg]). Some people have lost, or think they have lost, or aren't refracting and reflecting in exactly the way they want to be. It causes a dissonance, in them, and their manner changes, in the stuttery, twitchy, kind of way, until they notice it, accept it, change it, integrate it, whatever, but Certainly until the realise that it's there. I've recently gone through the same thing, myself, as i'm sure you could notice. The rationalisation, justification, and over-all unsurety of Self, i displayed. There were a lot of factors that lead into that, but that's ok. I realised it, and am working at changing it. (Claude Debussy - [La Mer (3 symphonic)]). Because that's not me, as i am, nor as i Want me to be. My point, here, is that it happens to everyone, at some point. It seems to be happening, a lot, lately. People questioning what they believe, doubting the self, {often} in the bad ways that make you forget how to fly, mid-stabilisation motion, and not remembering how to turn it around, how to Find that surety, again...
Because it has to come from the inside, really. It has to be about remembering what you're Trying to do, in life, what you Are and Want to be. Intentionality, and Will. There are a lot of people who've changed what they believe, and, at the very least, how they view themselves. Some of them don't seem to realise it, because, in their heads, it's a natural progression... The lines of internal "This Happened/I Deserve This/Why Me" aren't as visible to the external world, though, no matter how well you know the person. And, when you don't expres with people, because that's part of the problem, solution, interwoven mixture, then it's going to be Really difficult. Communication is alwyas key.
I'm rambling, i know. I'm going to continue to do so. Soemtimes, for the external view, because, though they Know [of] you, they Aren't you, it makes it possible for the people in your life to give perspective. One of the things that friends are for, yes? Yes. And they can't do that, if they dopn't have facts, understadings, ideas of what's going on in your head. Hence, asking your friends "What the fuck is going through your head?!" It is a priviledge of Friendship to be able to do that, and work from there. (Jack Off Jill - [American Made]). As an aside: Any of you, reading this, (who i KNOW, who are reading this, really...) can ask me that, if you think i need it... And i'll do my best to truthfully answer you. The thing that brought this up is... more than one thing.
I was blind-sided by a change in someone's beliefs, and the fact that they didn't think they could talk to me, about it; i've been watching a couple of people i know die, on the inside; i've been watching people forget bits of themselves, perceive themselves differently, and so on. (Eire Og - [Irish National Anthem]). So, it's all kind of hitting me, at the same time. Also, i've seen friends and family grow more and more accepting of who they are, and more solid and Sure of who and what they want to Be. (Pain - [In a Band]). It boils down to the fact that I'm being confronted with Changes in perception of SElves, for good and bad, and sometimes both, and then one after the other, and so on, and it makes me wonder... What's Happening, here? Why the seemingly immense amounts of flux, all at once, now? Or is my perception simply Looking for it, at the moment, in a way that i'm noticing That pattern, because i just put myself through it? All possibilities... But the key factor is that i need to talk to people. To look at the ones at whom i have not yet looked and just go ahead and ask them what the hell is going through their heads, and let them do the same, to me...
I need to talk to people, and figure out where we all, are, basically. (Pain - [Easy Out]). Because our outward reflections have been changing, and at a faster pace than we, ourselves, may have realised. And seeing that from outside can get to the point where it's merely ocnfusing... So, to begin, here's the opening gambit, to all of you: What the hell is going through your heads? Answer here, in person, on the phone, or through email. Or not at all. Whatever makes you comfortable.
Simply throwing it out there.
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no subject
Date: 2003-09-21 03:42 pm (UTC)Love hate anger need resentment. Want. need. Change. speed. Life. viscous fluid time.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-21 04:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 10:00 am (UTC)no subject
no subject
Date: 2003-09-21 10:00 pm (UTC)The need to know what the Fuck the Universe is doing with me. I KNOW something's happening, but I can't place it. Things are making me feel like a piece on a chessboard, and I can't even Hope to be the Queen in this one.
no subject
Everything is important.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-21 10:10 pm (UTC)no subject
And Pessimism Doesn't Suck. If you're right about things being shitty, then you're Right. But if you're Wrong, then you're Pleasantly Surprised. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2003-09-24 05:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Good Luck.
Thoughts and Change
Date: 2003-09-25 12:28 pm (UTC)Re: Thoughts and Change
Re: Thoughts and Change
Date: 2003-09-28 11:54 pm (UTC)