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wolven7Train - [Drops of Jupiter]--- Brief conversations with an Anonymous Sister, and a look back at an Old Post, have reminded me of some things, that i know about myself.
Save Ferris - [Under 21]--- Keep in mind the idea that "All Revelations are personal. That's why all revelations are suspect." Also, know that, since it is about me, it's due to be biases toward my role in a Grand Scheme kind of way. If you're going to have a problem with that, i would like to suggest that you stop reading this post, right now. (Zorak - [Don't Send in the Clowns]). Otherwise, feel free to come with me as i talk about this shite. Let's go:
I designed/found/whatever myself, from the time of my childhood, really, to be the person to whom everyone can talk about some part of who they really Are. This is not at all to say that i am fake, or without a solid base of who or what i am. (Bobgoblin - [Safe]). More to the point, it is saying that i have a very broad range of things that i know and which interest me. Because damn near everything does interest me. I can talk with nearly anyone, about nearly Anything because, if i don't have anything to add, i can always learn. Now, as i've ben this, for some time, now, it's easy to simply toss that into the Mix Of What You Are, and forget about it. Let it remain unspoken, as a piece of the foundation. "I've always been interested in lots of things, so i learn as much about them as i can, and through this i can relate to people. Cool." That gets layed down, and kind of forgotten. Until something starts to go wrong.
Jack Off Jill - [Witch Cunt]--- You think of a House's foundation, when you're worried about its stability. If it will stand up to the various environmental pressures. And, every once in a while, you have to re-check those foundations, and shore them up, again. REmember the layout of the House, and make whatever additions need to be made. Before i over-extend that metaphor, i'm going to move on. Wait, here's a bit more: I haven't checked my foundations, in a while.
LUXT - [Fiend]--- Since going to DC, i've been on a bit of a hiatus, from everything. I do the things i Do, and i'm places to talk to people, but i haven't really been there in any official capacities. Upon my Return from my home town, i did not take that status "Off," as it were. I was still incommunicado, on matters of Office. I never said, to anyone, "Hey, i'm back, now let's get back to work, and hanging out, and all those other crazy things we used to do." I didn't feel i needed to. I was Back. Couldn't people See that? Wasn't that Enough? No. It wasn't. Because my friends and co-workers Respect my boundaries, and can see when i need a little Time. And i needed a little time, let me tell you.
Remember that whole "Home" crisis? The one where i felt that Nowhere was home, because my homes were too spread? (Carmina Burana - [Tanz]). Well that was a product of the time in DC, and i'm still not completely over that. The new perspectives i've gained on my friendships and my interpersonal relationships, here, and elsewhere, have been seeping out, but not being Shown, directly, as they should be. Still need to Rectify that. Anyway, another Thing, here, is that i need to re-acquaint myself with the things i hold as True about myself.
Because i've been
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Cast - [Going Through the Motions]--- I love you, Winamp. Anyway. There are issues with being the kind of person i've grown myself to be. (Jack Off Jill - [American Made]). Problems, as with any strangely piece-meal mode of being, meant to be completist. In being that kind of person to whom Everyone can relate, i am the type of person to whom almost No one can fully relate. The joys and wants and wishes are too wide-spread. I'm at the Periphery of every want and wish and understanding and Comfort Zone. I'm also at the centre of every drive for understanding and desire, because of it. I'm There. Right there, with them.
The Adventures Of Jet - [Six Red Devils]--- I know that sounds really self-important, like i'm somehow Privy to the things that make up the very cores of human emotion and want and Whim. I warned you, didn't i? Did you think i was Joking? Moving on: it can be said that i am a paradox, in my own right (yeah, and who isn't?). I am the edges and the centres i bind together, in many ways. (PIG - [The Fountain of Miracles]). Many of you, out there, would have had to wait much longer to meet each other, if not for me, opening my mouth. You're all still connected, in really convoluted ways... But you wouldn't have that one to one, direct connect. I'm being really vain... but i'm only trying to explain what's going on, in my head.
I know that's no excuse. But it is a reason. I've realised what happened. I let myself be at the periphery, and have been looking from the outside In. For a While. i need to start looking from the Inside Out, again. It goes right up there with the fact that i'm putting out more creative works than i'm taking in, or rather, am trying to. Input/Output phases, as my dad would term them. You have to know when you're in need of one, or the other. Right now, it's Output, for me.
Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo - [Some of These Days]--- I really have to wait, and wonder who, out there, is going to be upset with me, for thinking these things, of myself. Who's going to call me an egotistical bastard, for viewing myself as some kind of centring/binding force? Well. I don't know. That's to be seen, but there are two points, on that. 1) i may not be giving people enough credit. I frequently do not. People may take my meaning, instantly, and realise that, implicit, in Everything i Ever Say is the understanding that 2) You could think of yourself as/Be everything i say about myself, too. It's a matter of outlook. And it's really not that bad of a place to Be.
Eminem - [Hailie's Song]--- There are stilll things i need to do, and I really should go to bed, now. I'll be back, to rant some more, on something else, later today.
Dream Well
{Huge Thanks for the Evening go to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mech_angel, Sis. Anon., tkc, and everyone else with whom i had conversations, in my little period of Angst Revelation. (True Sounds Of Liberty - [Flowers By The Door]). Thank you.}
Save Ferris - [Under 21]--- Keep in mind the idea that "All Revelations are personal. That's why all revelations are suspect." Also, know that, since it is about me, it's due to be biases toward my role in a Grand Scheme kind of way. If you're going to have a problem with that, i would like to suggest that you stop reading this post, right now. (Zorak - [Don't Send in the Clowns]). Otherwise, feel free to come with me as i talk about this shite. Let's go:
I designed/found/whatever myself, from the time of my childhood, really, to be the person to whom everyone can talk about some part of who they really Are. This is not at all to say that i am fake, or without a solid base of who or what i am. (Bobgoblin - [Safe]). More to the point, it is saying that i have a very broad range of things that i know and which interest me. Because damn near everything does interest me. I can talk with nearly anyone, about nearly Anything because, if i don't have anything to add, i can always learn. Now, as i've ben this, for some time, now, it's easy to simply toss that into the Mix Of What You Are, and forget about it. Let it remain unspoken, as a piece of the foundation. "I've always been interested in lots of things, so i learn as much about them as i can, and through this i can relate to people. Cool." That gets layed down, and kind of forgotten. Until something starts to go wrong.
Jack Off Jill - [Witch Cunt]--- You think of a House's foundation, when you're worried about its stability. If it will stand up to the various environmental pressures. And, every once in a while, you have to re-check those foundations, and shore them up, again. REmember the layout of the House, and make whatever additions need to be made. Before i over-extend that metaphor, i'm going to move on. Wait, here's a bit more: I haven't checked my foundations, in a while.
LUXT - [Fiend]--- Since going to DC, i've been on a bit of a hiatus, from everything. I do the things i Do, and i'm places to talk to people, but i haven't really been there in any official capacities. Upon my Return from my home town, i did not take that status "Off," as it were. I was still incommunicado, on matters of Office. I never said, to anyone, "Hey, i'm back, now let's get back to work, and hanging out, and all those other crazy things we used to do." I didn't feel i needed to. I was Back. Couldn't people See that? Wasn't that Enough? No. It wasn't. Because my friends and co-workers Respect my boundaries, and can see when i need a little Time. And i needed a little time, let me tell you.
Remember that whole "Home" crisis? The one where i felt that Nowhere was home, because my homes were too spread? (Carmina Burana - [Tanz]). Well that was a product of the time in DC, and i'm still not completely over that. The new perspectives i've gained on my friendships and my interpersonal relationships, here, and elsewhere, have been seeping out, but not being Shown, directly, as they should be. Still need to Rectify that. Anyway, another Thing, here, is that i need to re-acquaint myself with the things i hold as True about myself.
Because i've been
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Cast - [Going Through the Motions]--- I love you, Winamp. Anyway. There are issues with being the kind of person i've grown myself to be. (Jack Off Jill - [American Made]). Problems, as with any strangely piece-meal mode of being, meant to be completist. In being that kind of person to whom Everyone can relate, i am the type of person to whom almost No one can fully relate. The joys and wants and wishes are too wide-spread. I'm at the Periphery of every want and wish and understanding and Comfort Zone. I'm also at the centre of every drive for understanding and desire, because of it. I'm There. Right there, with them.
The Adventures Of Jet - [Six Red Devils]--- I know that sounds really self-important, like i'm somehow Privy to the things that make up the very cores of human emotion and want and Whim. I warned you, didn't i? Did you think i was Joking? Moving on: it can be said that i am a paradox, in my own right (yeah, and who isn't?). I am the edges and the centres i bind together, in many ways. (PIG - [The Fountain of Miracles]). Many of you, out there, would have had to wait much longer to meet each other, if not for me, opening my mouth. You're all still connected, in really convoluted ways... But you wouldn't have that one to one, direct connect. I'm being really vain... but i'm only trying to explain what's going on, in my head.
I know that's no excuse. But it is a reason. I've realised what happened. I let myself be at the periphery, and have been looking from the outside In. For a While. i need to start looking from the Inside Out, again. It goes right up there with the fact that i'm putting out more creative works than i'm taking in, or rather, am trying to. Input/Output phases, as my dad would term them. You have to know when you're in need of one, or the other. Right now, it's Output, for me.
Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo - [Some of These Days]--- I really have to wait, and wonder who, out there, is going to be upset with me, for thinking these things, of myself. Who's going to call me an egotistical bastard, for viewing myself as some kind of centring/binding force? Well. I don't know. That's to be seen, but there are two points, on that. 1) i may not be giving people enough credit. I frequently do not. People may take my meaning, instantly, and realise that, implicit, in Everything i Ever Say is the understanding that 2) You could think of yourself as/Be everything i say about myself, too. It's a matter of outlook. And it's really not that bad of a place to Be.
Eminem - [Hailie's Song]--- There are stilll things i need to do, and I really should go to bed, now. I'll be back, to rant some more, on something else, later today.
Dream Well
{Huge Thanks for the Evening go to
mech_angel, Sis. Anon., tkc, and everyone else with whom i had conversations, in my little period of Angst Revelation. (True Sounds Of Liberty - [Flowers By The Door]). Thank you.}
SBFUS?
Date: 2003-09-12 07:06 am (UTC)NightFall
Re: SBFUS?
Date: 2003-09-12 09:14 am (UTC)Re: SBFUS?
Re: SBFUS?
no subject
Date: 2003-09-12 05:24 pm (UTC)What you do is very important...and without you things would not be the same...thank you for being here and doing what you do.
-sister anonymou
no subject