My Wonder\ful Day.

[wolven7]

I'm seriously looking at NEVER HAVING CHILDREN. Spent a good portion of the day, at my grand mother's house. My grand mother watches her grand children, during the day, while their parents work. These children are, some of them, rather small. They are, usually, able to be calmed with a stern word, and a firm stance. Not so, today. Today, they acted like breathing was an offence against them, and they would Cry, and Cry and SCREAM, and Kick, and throw General Tantrums. And all of My efforts to teach them differently were, inadvertantly, squelched due to people trying to Soothe them. Bah.

I don't need that shit.

Otherwise, today, my sister and i walked around DC, for three hours in the hot hot sun, and then decided to go back to my grandmother's house. That was when the kids started being Especially bad. Then i saw my father. He came over grandma's, today, because he had a meeting, downtown. I talked to him, for a bit.

He asked me what i had decided to do, about going back to Atlanta. I told him that my flight was tomorrow (today), at 6. I told him that i'd shipped my computer, and my portfolio. And he looked sad. Thought i was heading back on Next Monday. And i felt bad. I want to at least see everyone, before i leave... And that's not going to happen.

I'm not going to get to see my father, or my step mother, or my cousins, or my other sisters. I'll, maybe, call them, and actually get them on the phone instead of leaving a "See you in November," message. Bah... I'm displeased.... The last few days of a family visit are always hectic. Moreso, now, becase of how long i've been here. I hope that my family never again wonders why i keep my other visits so short... It really fucking hurts, on so many levels, at so many cuhnks of time...

I've been sleeping poorly, recetly. Dreams that leave me feeling like something is seriously wrong...

I'm going to go, for now...

Later

Comments

[unicha.livejournal.com]

Oh, you'll have them alright! I am sure of this! And you'll be a great pappy... <3

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Part one: Never tell me that you're sure of anything that i don't want, at a given time. I'm a VERY spiteful person, sometimes.

two: I'm not equipped to be a Father. I'm more equipped to be a teacher. And that doesn't make for good parenting...

[unicha.livejournal.com]

s.o.r.r.y... I thought you said you were "looking into". To me, that means you're mind could change.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

it does. But saying that you know i'll have them sparks in me the desire to prove you Wrong. It's a quirk, i have. Works to my advantage, more often than my disadvantage.

Nothing to be sorry about...

[lilsayermonster.livejournal.com]

You're not the only one who has decided that they may not want kids. Awful little monsters. And thats before they start screaming.

[ex-noctem859.livejournal.com]

The whole not having kids has been rubbed into my head for the past 3 days. I've been watching friend's kids (not sure if I told you or not) But I'm going insane. Thank gods they're coming back today. Of course, Jeff said something that does make sense. When you watch other people's kids it's so different. The children you have you will be able to mold and raise and so that things that don't work with kids that aren't yours will work with your own. They will do things for you and will listen to you when they don't for others because they have that special bond with you. . .the parental bond. . .

Blah blah blah etc etc. . .

Anyways, I need out of this house and that's pretty much it. Claustraphobia is setting in because of the clutter. . . and no coffee maker and I need coffee, big time. I can't leave either.

Eaaarrrgggggg.