City Thoughts and Family Reunions
Aug. 2nd, 2003 10:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7David Bowie - [The Man Who Sold The World (Live)]--- Riding through the places that used to know me, and under-estimating their draw. Schools like Houses, and streets like home, containing, in them, the potential to keeep me warm and safe, forever. "Live here," they Say. (Bobgoblin - [25 Million To 1]). "We remember you, even if you don't do us the same courtesy.. or not as well as, perhaps, you'd like. We loved you once, and we still do..." Areas of Grand Stairways, leading forever down into What-If Basements, losing forever, to the then.
Playces that cling, cloying, to the nostrils, loving me like Mums, wanting to hold on to the Always, and the Dreams of things that may actually be, and the ideals, of a school, that started me with everything i'd need to know. (Claude Debussy - [La Mer (3 symphonic)]). Wanting to hold on to that corner store, that bakery, next to the Cleaners, that had my favourite creme soda, because that means Home, more than the houses your families live in. That means connections and Formation, and the Formatives were, if not great, certainly Worthy of their name, weren't they? They molded you, shaped you, showed you what you needed to be. And it's another form of Masochism when you think about it.
Travelling around what is and will never again be Home, there is the understanding that... certain places don't care. They are always there, if you are, or not. They do not mark your comings and goings, other than to say that you have come and gone, and will, possibly, do so again. They don't love you. They don't miss you. And some areas hold you, close, so close, over-protective grandmother close, and they show you what Could be, had you not gone, never meaning to hurt you, never meaning for the bar{[b]}s to actually Catch.. only loving, only missing. Welcoming you Home. And you know that, now, no matter what, you can't go Back, only a new kind of forward, that may, indeed, take you to some place you can begin to consider home. And maybe it will resemble where you started, at first glance, but when you look again you'll say "No... No it's really quite different. Not the same place at all."
And that is Home Coming. That is wanting to know, again, a place which you have missed. And knowing, in all of your implications, that, Had you stayed, had you fast tracked that life that laments losing you, you never would know the things, be the places, love the loves that you do now. And that's not worth it. You can never go Home again. You can only take it with you, wherever you go.
I love you.
Playces that cling, cloying, to the nostrils, loving me like Mums, wanting to hold on to the Always, and the Dreams of things that may actually be, and the ideals, of a school, that started me with everything i'd need to know. (Claude Debussy - [La Mer (3 symphonic)]). Wanting to hold on to that corner store, that bakery, next to the Cleaners, that had my favourite creme soda, because that means Home, more than the houses your families live in. That means connections and Formation, and the Formatives were, if not great, certainly Worthy of their name, weren't they? They molded you, shaped you, showed you what you needed to be. And it's another form of Masochism when you think about it.
Travelling around what is and will never again be Home, there is the understanding that... certain places don't care. They are always there, if you are, or not. They do not mark your comings and goings, other than to say that you have come and gone, and will, possibly, do so again. They don't love you. They don't miss you. And some areas hold you, close, so close, over-protective grandmother close, and they show you what Could be, had you not gone, never meaning to hurt you, never meaning for the bar{[b]}s to actually Catch.. only loving, only missing. Welcoming you Home. And you know that, now, no matter what, you can't go Back, only a new kind of forward, that may, indeed, take you to some place you can begin to consider home. And maybe it will resemble where you started, at first glance, but when you look again you'll say "No... No it's really quite different. Not the same place at all."
And that is Home Coming. That is wanting to know, again, a place which you have missed. And knowing, in all of your implications, that, Had you stayed, had you fast tracked that life that laments losing you, you never would know the things, be the places, love the loves that you do now. And that's not worth it. You can never go Home again. You can only take it with you, wherever you go.
I love you.
