Fuck. Fuck Fuck.
Jul. 17th, 2003 01:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7This weekend is going to be... Something. And i don't mean in terms of it being My Party. Perhaps it's Being, at my party... I'm a little tweaked, i'm a little nervous, a little sad. Drama is a stone cold Burning Bitch, like Icy-Hot, on a mucus membrane, and it';s keeping people i love away from me, on one of theonly times i'd ever ask them all the be together. And you know what? I get it. There's shit people can't deal with, one way or another. But it's Still Sad.
I'm trying to remember why Not to smoke. And it's difficult to explain, and i'm not going to try. You know why i quit. Now, make those no longer an issue (except for one), and add in my Spite-Genes. Say what you will, but i miss it like Mad, and i don't think that's simply the nicotine withdrawl talking. Several Several times, in the pst few weeks, i've passed people smoking in the street, and it's everyday a struggle not to ask for one... Today i almost gave in.
And the fact that that happened, that i'm almost Not able to do this, as a mere test of My Will, Really Bothers Me. So slag off, if you don't get it, and think i should simply quit, and stop whining. i haven't found the proper piece(s) to which smoking correlated. Until i Do, it's going to hurt. The End.
Dream Well
I'm trying to remember why Not to smoke. And it's difficult to explain, and i'm not going to try. You know why i quit. Now, make those no longer an issue (except for one), and add in my Spite-Genes. Say what you will, but i miss it like Mad, and i don't think that's simply the nicotine withdrawl talking. Several Several times, in the pst few weeks, i've passed people smoking in the street, and it's everyday a struggle not to ask for one... Today i almost gave in.
And the fact that that happened, that i'm almost Not able to do this, as a mere test of My Will, Really Bothers Me. So slag off, if you don't get it, and think i should simply quit, and stop whining. i haven't found the proper piece(s) to which smoking correlated. Until i Do, it's going to hurt. The End.
Dream Well
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Wish I were there
Date: 2003-07-16 11:05 pm (UTC)Keep looking for the piece(s), and let it hurt if it has to.
"Go, Damien! Feel the (not)Burn!" *dodgedodgegetsmacked*
Re: Wish [you] were there
no subject
Date: 2003-07-17 01:30 am (UTC)i feel your pain and am constantly going through the same struggle. alas, i sometimes think that i should stop trying and do what i love because i will probably die of some disease that will be named after me because i was the only one to ever get it.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-17 11:14 am (UTC)Sad, indeed. I just want to let you know I am not one of the people with the "issues". I laid all that shit to rest when I realized there was no time for it anymore. Time to grow up, and I did. Love you man!
Happy Birthday, because I haven't said it yet.