Realisations Driven Home by Family

[wolven7]

I talked to my mother, tonight, about Life. The things i want out of life. The changes i want to see. And you know what? She doesn't understand. But i've got a little more of an understanding of the fact that people don't want to know. It's still slightly upsetting. But i put soemthing, to my mother, tonight, that i don't think i've ever put any bettter, ever before.

"It's not about Them. I don't...'Teach,' for them to tell me 'Hey man, you did a good job, there, and you taught people something really new and different. Good job.' I do it, because i feel that it's What I Am. That it is my Purpose."

She knows, if not understands, the things i believe about the nature of the soul. The way the universe operates. And she has admitted to herself, finally, the possibility that i may be poly-theistic. But that doesn't even fucking Cover it.

*sigh* I hate this shit, sometimes... One of the most fucking difficult paths i know. So very very lonely. *staples hand to forehead* Yeah.

Fuck off, for a bit, ok? Maybe later, we'll go out.. Have a smoke, and a cup of coffee...

Meh. Talk to you later.

Dream Well

{Quote for the evening, randomly chosen by flipping the pages of the quote book, while not looking, and pointing: "The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear." - Herbert Agar}

Comments

[raoin.livejournal.com]

"Time is precious. but truth is more precious than time"

i haven't pissed off anyone in awhile and i thought i was past due

[angsty.livejournal.com]

i think that's really selfish of you to think that people want to learn from you because its your purpose. i'm damned surprise to read that. how can you think you will have the influence over people when you go around acting like it would be a blessing on your pupils to hear what you have to say.

take the other day when you asked how i was. i said i'm ok why? you said- because my other friends have been not ok. what the hell is that about? you didn't ask to hear about me- but to do some sort of checklist of the people around you. i'm not trying to fight with you, but keeping your ego in check sometimes might have a better result.

Re: i haven't pissed off anyone in awhile and i thought i was past due

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I never said Anything about teaching people becaue it was my puporse. The entire Point of that was that it's not about Teaching Anyone. It's about Me Understanding Things.

It was, first to hear how you were doing, second as a comparrison. Sorry if you didn't understand that.

Teach was in Quotes for a reason. It was an ironic statement. I don't teach. I try to live and uderstand that which is around me, and every once in a while show some of the neat things i've found to the people about whom i care.

But they tend to misunderstand.

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

Hm. Teaching implies a superior-inferior relationship, usually a forced one. Your Purpose is to show things, and ultimately to help Understanding, whether or not the method involves simply reading, or holding someone down and Tearing their Mind open...
Ok. Little vicious tonight. Sorry. :) But there isn't the dichotomy there that implies the arrogance of Teaching.
And yes, it Needs to be done sometimes. When something Burns in your mind, threates to make ash of your psyche if you Don't Fucking Share it...Then you have to let it out on the next hapless fuckwit who provides an opening. It's not arrogance, not thinking someone yearns for that knowledge. More often than not they don't give two shits. It's need. Purpose...

[wolven.livejournal.com]

And i believe that you mean Purpose, as i did, in the Seraphic?

Yeah...

"It's easy. There's a trick to it. You do it, or you die." - Shadow, Neil Gaiman's "American Gods"

Re: i haven't pissed off anyone in awhile and i thought i was past due

[angsty.livejournal.com]

:) well i'm glad to know that isn't your idea. not that i think you are a selfish bastard, i just needed to be asked how i was not in comparison. no one likes being compared when someone asks how they are tho! its like a boyfriend saying to his girlfriend- how are you? because my exgirlfriend is doing great. i need to feel special. hold me!