Never try for thanks.

[wolven7]

K.M.F.D.M. - [Rubicon]--- Anything you do, in this life, do it of it's own sake. Never aim for Thanks, or Love, or Hope, or Goals. Do something, and let that Thing be your entire World, while you are in it. Trying, because you hope to gain something, other than the thing, itself (and even that...) will leave you only in torment. Angst. Wondering Why. {And if you're going to do That, do it Fully...}

It is not something that is done easily. Nor, now that I see it, will I be able to enact it, with any sort of immediacy. (K.M.F.D.M. - [Bereit]). It takes time to break habits, and it's a daily process.

At this point, think of it as.. a Calming tool. A bit of Meditation, for when people don't acknowledge, remember, or care. You Do, and that's what matters.

- you.

Dream Well

Comments

[raoin.livejournal.com]

i aimed for one thing, i put my whole self into it. its gone. it got up and left. did i waste my time and energy? was the end of that thing my fault? or the fault of forces outside my control? regardless, its time to start again.

i am and am not what really matters. here i am, i am me. i take care of me. but i am not all there is in this universe. i am not the only thing that matters. i can never be the only thing that matters. and i should never be the only thing that matters.

its not that others dont acknowledge care or do, its that often we believe that they dont. all of us are very wrapped up in our own little worlds. trying to make everything happen, trying to get those things that we are aiming for that we forget that there are others around us who need caring for, who matter.

i cant do this all the time, i cant aim soly for me, and i cant aim soly for others. i cant maintain balance all the time either. i am imperfect. i am human. i am on the road to accepting this.

i forget that i should live to live. i forget that i shouldn't. that living to live is superficial. when you live only to experience you run the risk of never actually knowing anything deeply. at the same time, holding yourself deeply in one place denies you the ability to Fully Know anything but that one thing.

i'm very circular tonight. my apologies.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

There was still Aim, and still Expectation. People live, and strive, and scurry, because, deep down, they Expect to die. They don't do anything for the sake of doing it. Learn anything for the sake of learning it.

Words are expectation, and expectation holds us down. Oddly enough, this realisation is something the Universe has been trying to beat into me, for a bit now, and do you know what drove it home? Looking at the <.Lj user=> tags, in someone's post, and thinking "I taught them how to do that, do they remember that?" Then i thought... "And so what if they don't? I remember."

living to live isn't Shallow, more than breathing to Breathe is. It is the only way to fully experience something, at this point. You've seen everything interact with each other, but not by itself.

Again, there's still the idea of Expectation as the dynamic force that can move, but too much of it, and we Do get caught in the endless cycles of "Why don't things... " &c. And like i said, If we're going to do that, we should throw ourselves into that, too.

One of the reasons i tend to like to Stay in my bad moods.

Long rantings about differences, subtle and otherwise, in various facets. But that's not for here.

[jinxvamp.livejournal.com]

you DO realise how much your words of wisdom and the things you Do are appreciated, don't you?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

For the most part, yeah, people appreciate, and say thanks, and even take the things to heart, but that's not the point. The point is that i shouldn't need them to. I used to Give Lessons ("Teach"), for it's own sake. Someoen would ask a question, and i'd give or help find an answer, regardless of their reaction, when we got there. Recently, that's been slipping a bit. I needed to see it from another angle.

Nothing's ever Solely about me, except for as long as i keep it to myself. Soon as i put it out in the world, it's about everyone it touches. Which is why my actions can only ever be Solely about me, if i were to cut off all ties, and start over. As a Hermit.

And even then, the actions leading To the hermitage would affect others.

Off subject, but not. In the end, this was a little bit of something, for everyone.