Where have all the lines gone?
Apr. 21st, 2003 04:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7Save Ferris - [Build Me Up Buttercup]---Missing the emotive quality of my prior pieces... I think that i may have walled them off, again, shunted child-like into the dungeon, lost and found, again... Trying, too hard, to keep the people around me...
There is true Fear, in me, that the people around me don't want to be. That they feel compelled to be, out of some sense of obligation, or duty, and that i'll lose them, at the drop of a hat... (Veruca Salt - [Seether]). If this is true... why make the effort? Why not simply take what comes, and remain, alone, if that is what will be... And, of course, i could be blowing Everything out of proportion, again.. But i feel as if on a precipice. (Veruca Salt - [Volcano Girls]). And everyone is waiting... On one side, there is letting them down, and they leave... On the other, i fulfill their expectations, and they continue, there... Waiting, again, for me to slip, fall, and tumble to the jagged rocks below..
And they are all waiting for the same thing, it seems.. Some word, or deed, that will make or break me, completely... I'm struggling, sliding... trying to keep it all in place... Maybe i'm wrong... But god i really hate being afraid, like this.. It's been so fucking long... Good night.
Dream Well
There is true Fear, in me, that the people around me don't want to be. That they feel compelled to be, out of some sense of obligation, or duty, and that i'll lose them, at the drop of a hat... (Veruca Salt - [Seether]). If this is true... why make the effort? Why not simply take what comes, and remain, alone, if that is what will be... And, of course, i could be blowing Everything out of proportion, again.. But i feel as if on a precipice. (Veruca Salt - [Volcano Girls]). And everyone is waiting... On one side, there is letting them down, and they leave... On the other, i fulfill their expectations, and they continue, there... Waiting, again, for me to slip, fall, and tumble to the jagged rocks below..
And they are all waiting for the same thing, it seems.. Some word, or deed, that will make or break me, completely... I'm struggling, sliding... trying to keep it all in place... Maybe i'm wrong... But god i really hate being afraid, like this.. It's been so fucking long... Good night.
Dream Well
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Date: 2003-04-21 06:19 pm (UTC)-sister anonymous
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Date: 2003-04-21 07:07 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-04-21 07:09 pm (UTC)Arrogance
Date: 2003-04-27 11:33 am (UTC)Indirect arrogance, expectation of your ability to make all better for those who act not necessarily within your frames of reference, assumption that your ability to eat everything eventually translates to your ability to encompass everything now.
In short, this strikes me as the way God comes at relationships with people. "I want to help them, but they don't listen, or they don't learn, but I have to try...even when it hurts..."
I don't know. I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm tired.
Re: Arrogance