An upgrade, of sorts.
Mar. 2nd, 2003 05:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7Hellsing - [Alucard's Theme]--- An increase in power, connectivity, and the understanding of the way i truly feel about myself. The factors to blame/hold responsible/thank/reprimand for this influx are too many to count, or note. But they are all of you, your works, and your dreams. Deeds. And i think you. Thank you. (Rasputina - [Dollhouse]). There was the intake of breath, smoke, and a familiar scent that was neither of these, and i still can't quite place it. The understanding of it, eludes me, but there has been a shift, toward the determination of factors, the will to... if not win, then at last not give up, even if it looks like i'm going to fail. The key to doing better. Determination and will.
I thought, earlier in the week, about the nature of the human animal, and the refusal to give up, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds and predilictated nature. Universe against, and the drive to find some thing, Anything, a way to persevere, and over come. (Alanis Morrisette - [Uninvited]). And i thought at it, with amusement, and a chuckle, "So Quaint. Nearly Naive." And i've lost myself within it. How.? Because, though we make the choices and become enraged when it seems as if we may not win, there is nothing more true, and right, than continuing on, working to your goals, and in the face of everything around you saying "There is no way," saying, yourself, "Then I shall Make a way." For that is the true nature of Will. I see it in almost all of those around me, and i want to make it happen, in everyone i meet, but i forgot its true course, myself. "Those who can't do, teach," as it were. Well, those who can do teach as well, through actions and evincement. There is less the necessity of speech, and more of true being.
Voltaire - [Oweee]--- And that is what i have gained, from staying, this time, and now, what else is there to learn? Everything. (VNV Nation - [Darkangel (Apocalyptic Mix)]). So there are many many factors against me, in this place, and at this time. Lack of transport. A Job I hate, and Ill-Communication. If only it were anywhere near as fun as that album... I've a book to read. Several. I've resources to find, and goals to accomplish. They are set, in my mind, now, and i know what i must do to get them. If i don't like what i must do, then i must change one of a number of factors: Myself, The situation, the Recourse, or that which is Required. I have it, within me, to change any of those. It is a matter of choosing: where and with which will i be able to better live with myself? Not an easy question, no, but an important one.
Skinny Puppy - [Grave Wisdom]--- So, now i begin the process of... Remodeling? That seems the best metaphor, yes. So let the upgrade continue, and the growth remain.
And now i need a shower.
I thought, earlier in the week, about the nature of the human animal, and the refusal to give up, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds and predilictated nature. Universe against, and the drive to find some thing, Anything, a way to persevere, and over come. (Alanis Morrisette - [Uninvited]). And i thought at it, with amusement, and a chuckle, "So Quaint. Nearly Naive." And i've lost myself within it. How.? Because, though we make the choices and become enraged when it seems as if we may not win, there is nothing more true, and right, than continuing on, working to your goals, and in the face of everything around you saying "There is no way," saying, yourself, "Then I shall Make a way." For that is the true nature of Will. I see it in almost all of those around me, and i want to make it happen, in everyone i meet, but i forgot its true course, myself. "Those who can't do, teach," as it were. Well, those who can do teach as well, through actions and evincement. There is less the necessity of speech, and more of true being.
Voltaire - [Oweee]--- And that is what i have gained, from staying, this time, and now, what else is there to learn? Everything. (VNV Nation - [Darkangel (Apocalyptic Mix)]). So there are many many factors against me, in this place, and at this time. Lack of transport. A Job I hate, and Ill-Communication. If only it were anywhere near as fun as that album... I've a book to read. Several. I've resources to find, and goals to accomplish. They are set, in my mind, now, and i know what i must do to get them. If i don't like what i must do, then i must change one of a number of factors: Myself, The situation, the Recourse, or that which is Required. I have it, within me, to change any of those. It is a matter of choosing: where and with which will i be able to better live with myself? Not an easy question, no, but an important one.
Skinny Puppy - [Grave Wisdom]--- So, now i begin the process of... Remodeling? That seems the best metaphor, yes. So let the upgrade continue, and the growth remain.
And now i need a shower.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-03-02 04:31 pm (UTC)-sister anonymous
Re:
Date: 2003-03-02 06:08 pm (UTC)stupid intellectuals
Date: 2003-03-02 08:40 pm (UTC)so you are looking to change? can't you talk down to those of us who don't speak smart?
Re: stupid intellectuals
Things are Going to change, and i can either lead the change, or wait around for it.
Re: stupid intellectuals
Date: 2003-03-03 09:30 am (UTC)lol
no subject
Date: 2003-03-03 06:14 am (UTC)--JMDC
What's going through my head...
Date: 2003-03-03 06:39 am (UTC)*machine gun noise*
*the gentle clopping of falling heads*
squeakasqueakasqueaka...
If you don't understand, feel free to ask.
Or just look up the words "demented cartoon" on google. Heh.
Re: What's going through my head...
Date: 2003-03-03 09:13 am (UTC)In Honour...
Date: 2003-03-03 09:22 am (UTC)Still there, a little. Remodeling is good, though. Less traumatic than FIDI.
-Mech
Re: In Honour...