An odd realisation.

[wolven7]

Deadsy - [Tom Sawyer]--- So, i'm talking to a friend of mine, and it's 4.30 in the gods besotted morning, and were talking about sexual topics. The Notion that many of my female friends don't find me that attractive has crossed my mind, more than once, and i know that it's not Entirely true. I also know that there are lots of things that keep me from being Less sexually and emotionally frustrated. Distance tends to be one of these things.

Deadsy - [Commencement]--- So she says to me, after i note that i haven't received fellatio in over two years, due to various factors, "you ever wish you were more attracted to someone your just not?" to which i say "Yeah. yeah i know exactly what you mean, there... oh well. If more of my female friends found me more attractive, maybe it wouldn't have been 2 and a half years, but what is is. I deal. That's why god invented masturbation." And yeah, that's true... But there are still things (Not to mention people) i want.

There is a thing, in me, now, that is on the thin, dark, blurred line that borders, weaves, and phases around, and throughout Obsession and Love. (Deadsy - [Flowing Glower]). I haven't been here, in quite some time... Nothing's driven me here, to this strange place where everything is thought and re-thought, and you don't know how to take certain things... Not the things that are said to you, mind you, but the things you, yourself, say. Does it cross that line? Is the Fabled Land even on the other Side of that line, or is it merely where you've been before? What's new? What's different? Where are the border-lands, nd are the guards friendly and understanding? Why are you questioning what you once Knew to be true, in a different form? (Deadsy - [Le Cirque En Rose (Obsolescence)]). Because these places are non-Euclidean, in their implications...

I've made a few mistakes, i think, and i've freaked out a few people with the level of forthcoming-ness, i've displayed. But i don't think i'd have it any other way...

I've realised that i Like it here, and that, with a few adjustments, and the proper understanding, i could like it here, for quite some time. So i'm without physical contact... There are days when i loathe the thought of that, so who am I to complain, now? Besides, it's like i said: That's why god invented Masturbation.

Relish what you've read. I may not ever talk about it, here, again. :P

I'm off to read "Midnight Nation." 2.03 hours left at work.

Dream Well

{Addendum, Days later: By the way, i'd just like to note: What a Fucked Up Thread of Comments, on this. Apparently, my caveats need to extend from my comments, to myself, as well... *Note to self, no more emotionally revealing topics. All i get is people talking about me, getting and being naked.*}

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

you know i heard that there was a time when one merely had to say the word "naked" in order to get you undressed.

--JMDC

...

[(Anonymous)]

As tempting as that sounds to try, and as amusing to my imagination as that image is, I doubt it was ever the case.
Im sorry, im being evil agian

Strixus

Re:

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That time is long past. Relatively long, at any rate.

Re: ...

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Purrrhaps interesting, but No, it did happen. Alcohol was usually involved, and a crowd of Friends, but yes. Now, though, i spend my time trying to get others naked. ^_^

Sounds familiar...

[(Anonymous)]

A friend of mine used to strip for a quarter. No matter where we were. We've gotten kicked out of the mall, the park,a nd I think McD's because someone wouldn't believe this and would hand him a quarter. Funny shit...
-Mech

long? you're young, lad, but not that young...

[(Anonymous)]

cover your arse now, as you so gleefully failed to do then, huh?
it was less than two years ago that i had that fabulous little wreck of a house on Hampton Terrace...at that time, as i seem to rather vividly recall...but perhaps you'd rather shield your more innocent online friends from those incriminating images? feh. do you want to play "older and wiser" now, or is this just for online...follies of the flesh, you forget so much fun being mortal. you in particular, i mean, not the collective. no fun. at all. and there was the time i had ot -get- you naked...

solemn winking and sticking out of Kali-esque tongue.

saigh

Re: long? you're young, lad, but not that young...

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, that's cause i was half dead from alcohol poisoning.

As to the other? It's simply not as fun, for me, anymore. Not older and wiser. Just changed, a bit.

Re: Sounds familiar...

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Stripped for a cup of coffee, at waffle house. The waitress brought me another cup, when i only wanted a refill, so she was going to give it to me, for free, but i had to strip for it.

As it was for my caffeination, for the evening, i did this proudly.

hmpft

[(Anonymous)]

It has always been my belief that we never get any wiser, no matter how much older we get. We wolnt do things we used to because we remeber what they caused in the past - usually personal injury or strife. This sort of pavlovian conditioning is hardly wisdom - if we were wise, we would never have done it in the first place.

Now, I admit that I think we all went through this phase of exebitionism and inhebition of personal nudity - some in a more limmited form than others, but we all did. And we need to remember the lessons that this period in our lives taught on - primarily there are places that nudity has its advantages and usage, and places where it usually causes problems (especially in the presence of poison ivy, hot coffee, cats, or the absence of significant others and common sence). This learned, we are conditioned to associate our actions with the results, and not (usually) repeat our mistakes.

This said, we must also remember that sometimes, getting ass naked infront of a crowd of our friends or a particular individual on a momments notice also can have its up points. When I think of what they are, I will let you know.

[(Anonymous)]

since it was my comment that started this line of thinking i think i ought to apologize to damien for doing that. i would like to add, however, that i would never have said anything if patrick hadn't told me that, and he wouldnt have ever told me that if someone hadnt been leaving odd song messages on damien's phone. which seems to be a tradition in this group. as for exhibitionism being a part of everyone's growing up, i must be due in, i havent gotten that far yet. ;P once again, i'm sorry damien.

--JMDC

Re:

[wolven.livejournal.com]

It's ok. As i said, i need to listen to my own caveats, and realise that they may come back to bite me in the ass.

*giggle*

[(Anonymous)]

Ok, so this proves the crowd involved in the comments have permanent gutter-mind...And that I'm trying really hard not to say something about the ass-biting thing.
As for the original topic, it's been a few days and I just now have serious commentary. That area, the interest-longing-I can't have it-playing and whatnot is FUN. It's what makes forbidden fruit so damned tasty-looking (pun intended as willed). It gives both (or however many) parties involved closeness without baggage. And the push-pull of courting without expectations of resolution. No promise of longterm things, no expectations at all, just friends and a bit of interesting tension.
-Mech

Re: *giggle*

[(Anonymous)]

this is all well and good so long as everyone involved understands the rules. and further, so long as no one decides later that rules are meant to be broken. esp. without the agreement of the other party(ies) involved. as for me, i hate tension with no forth-coming resolution. it leaves me unsatisfied.

--JMDC

Re: *giggle*

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Interesting Tension, indeed. ^_^

Re: *giggle*

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Well, the parties, currently involved in this Particular Tension, are pretty sure where they stand. And, if i may speak for both, they seem to be able to be satisified with either of the results. Friendship, or More than.

Re: long? you're young, lad, but not that young...

[(Anonymous)]

alcohol poisoning,and not even at a party...you had to be forthcoming, and here i was just going to leave it at that and let everyone assume that i had compromised your purity...oh well. (tiny voice in back of head, shrieking and drawing towel about self "my Pyooo-riteh!")

It's not as fun because you stopped attending the right parties and never got to the next stages of things. It wasn't meant to stay getting naked and dancing about with condiments smeared on one's person forever, you know. Such simple pleasures can only hold the interest of the most peurile (or enlightened) minds for very long, truly (comments about my own state not unanticipated). These things adapt to you, as long as you stay tuned.

love, ashes, sorrow

saigh

Re: long? you're young, lad, but not that young...

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Well, most things adapt, be they the people or the situations in which said people find themselves. Perhaps attending different parties would have done something different, but i find myself, these days, wanting something other. I've got a pretty stable source of enlightenment/entertainment, these days... It's simply my old lament of people not progressing in the same ways as myself. I can't truly say that that would be any different, no matter Where i was. I don't know that that's true, as i'm Here (i.e., where ever the hell i am), not anywhere else. But everywhere else..... Mmm.. Metaphysics.

As for comments about your own state: What? Are you happy? Cause that's really the only thing about your state that worries me. As long as you are truly happy, and as happy as you can be, then I will never disparaige your "State." *hugs*

Stay Well.

Re: *giggle*

[(Anonymous)]

good

--JMDC

Re: long? you're young, lad, but not that young...

[(Anonymous)]

Your concern is charming, and prettily expressed besides. I regret to answer in the negative, at least in what few matters in my life still touch on those that coincide with yours. But you're a sweetheart, sometimes.

love
saigh

Re: long? you're young, lad, but not that young...

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I try. Sometimes i wish i still heard things... but i don't know.