What a blah day.

[wolven7]

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Fuck that. Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder, and more weak. Wormwood'll kill you. (Big Dumb Face - [Space Adventure]). I'm having destroying nostalgia, for certain people. By that i mean that it's eating me, from the inside. There is something There that wants a reconnection, and there is no correlational want, on their part, from what i've seen. I know, believe me i know, that the same would and could be said about me, but i try to make with the plannings. (Portishead - [Numb]). Bah, excuses! Anyway,. my point is that, by this point, i should be able to say Fuck them and the purple electric monkey they rode in on, Right? Well i can't. I've done it to others, for less, and more, but I can't seem to wrap my head around it, here. *growls* Predation...

Anger, predation, bloodlust and so many other things (love, joy, firendship, possibility, for instance), are all swirling around in my head, and i'm pretty much without focus, for them. Went to talk to my adviser. Full until next month. Haven't gotten to go to Borders, yet. (MC Paul Barman - [Salvation Barmy]). The determination i felt, initially, Is still there, but it feels as if it will try to slip away, at any moment.

I have, on my hand, the international symbol for power (Check your Computer's On button.), mutating into a 6. There's only three symbols. I thought it poignant. (Dimitri from Paris - [Une Very Stylish Fille]).

I'm babbling, now, and there are things that i want, that i must find a way to obtain. So many people, online... I'll go try to talk to a good many of them, i guess.

Later

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

and you were so cheerful while the questioning is going on. if you were offened why didnt you just say so while we were at that juncture. but fine, sure. banal questions. yes they were. oh well. do you automatically ask a person serious questions when you dont know the first thing about them? further, i asked you if i could continue questioning you later and you said no. you said NO. i remember. perhaps you dont know me very well. let me tell you something about me. when i ask questions without any prior preporation, i start with the banal ones first. then, as i have had time to think, i move deeper. i did ask you about the importance of your necklaces twice. but you pretended not to hear. or didnt hear. and besides that. i get some of the deep sides of you here, on this journal. so maybe i wanted to know some of your banal mindless damien facts. but, lets forget it, huh? it was merely me sitting in on someone else's interrogation time anyway. and i didnt get to stay there long. i'm sorry if you were bothered. and smile, we all had pretty a pretty bad day that day.

--JMDC
ps. i've never had anyone just sit down and ask me questions about myself. personally i think it shows a genuine level of interest, not a "duty as a human being". regardless of what kind of questions are asked.

Re:

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Which Necklace? I have two, and the only reason i didn't answer that one, was because people started talking over me, and i lost track. You didn't ask me banal questions. i wasn't even talking about You. You, like Al, joined that circle, seemingly late in the game, by which point the Other two had already given up on finding something. They asked and asked, but seemed to not be at all interested.

Why didn't i say something Then? Because i was struck Dumb, with utter annoyance. That and i was hoping it was all some sort of Prelude. Whenever deep questions were anywhere Near, the others went away.

[(Anonymous)]

you'll have to give me some time, i have to be in the mood to go fishing in deep waters. and today is quiet and slow. i feel like i am waiting for something. or something is waiting for me. not sure. only a sense that the world is shifting/twisting and i dont know why.

yes, something shifting, slowly
glacier smooth, and moutain steady
twisting, the bough in motion growing
not pushing or pulling, the child at birth
but waiting for the moment
when will that be?
streching and flexing, the luxury of eternity
while the time ticks by
i'm warmed up, are you ready?
feebly i stumble, almost palpable
but i cannot remember long enough
to recall its taste, my mouth goes dry
and almost audible but the sound dies
just as my ears begin to hear it
before my mind can recognize it
i cannot see it or imagine it
all i see is myself,
a foggy island, folding green and blue and gray
a cold crisp Vashon morning
but i can feel it, vibrations stilling
it feels like a held breath
(Jan 22, 2003)

--JMDC

ps. it was both necklaces. and i probably would have had good follow-up questions to go with your answers.

Re:

[wolven.livejournal.com]

As to that, then, the Chinese character is "Dog," It is the year in which i was born (1982), and this particular one was given to me by an ex-girlfriend. The emotional context of that situation is one which i don'tknow that i can put into words.

The other is a Celtic Knot Wolf's Tooth. It was given to me, on my friend Jeremy's birthday, by him. He said it wanted to go to me. A few days later, i looked at it upside down, and noticed that it looked a Lot like my personal sigil. I wasn't exactly surprised.

[(Anonymous)]

i find that your necklaces fit you very well. sometimes its hard for me to picture you without them. its good that they both have some meaning for you, and i find it very interesting that the celtic knot is your sigil upside down. you'll have to let me look at it the next time i see you.

--JMDC