Sep. 29th, 2010
"Keep it secret." "In strict confidence."
Sep. 29th, 2010 11:30 pmHave realised something, today, which caused me to parse and find particular nuance, in a distinction. In order these are:
1) I hate secrets, but I love being held in confidences.
To me, the difference is that a secret implies stasis-- it implies that the situation of the secret is one which should stay unknown, and thus unchanged-- whereas a confidence usually pertains to an oncomming situation.
Discussion with a friend about this led me to
2) Secrets are almost always exclusionary and diminishing. They are there to keep something from someone else, and someone holding a secret for someone else almost always feels the need to be shriven of it. Confidences, on the other hand, are inclusive, and they enrich those who share them, making the confidant feel emboldened and knowing. Both are better for it.
But some things are both secret and confided. Some things mustn't change, until a particular time, and no one else must know, ever, but it is absolutely vital that You Know. And, i realise, one can think they are sharing a confidence, while the other feels they've been burdened with a secret.
The class "Secrets," then, could be seen as a super class, containing within it the subclass "Confidences," such that all confidences are a type of secret, but not all secrets may be esteemed as confidences.
Thoughts?
1) I hate secrets, but I love being held in confidences.
To me, the difference is that a secret implies stasis-- it implies that the situation of the secret is one which should stay unknown, and thus unchanged-- whereas a confidence usually pertains to an oncomming situation.
Discussion with a friend about this led me to
2) Secrets are almost always exclusionary and diminishing. They are there to keep something from someone else, and someone holding a secret for someone else almost always feels the need to be shriven of it. Confidences, on the other hand, are inclusive, and they enrich those who share them, making the confidant feel emboldened and knowing. Both are better for it.
But some things are both secret and confided. Some things mustn't change, until a particular time, and no one else must know, ever, but it is absolutely vital that You Know. And, i realise, one can think they are sharing a confidence, while the other feels they've been burdened with a secret.
The class "Secrets," then, could be seen as a super class, containing within it the subclass "Confidences," such that all confidences are a type of secret, but not all secrets may be esteemed as confidences.
Thoughts?