What I share is planned. It IS calculated. It is Designed to allow everyone who knows something about me to feel special, for having that knowledge. Because they ARE special. They are unique and what they do (or, more often, DON'T do) with that knowledge can hurt me. The loss of words and the lack of communication between myself and people with whom I think I've shared something special is...devestating, to me. Hence, posts like the other day.
But Special does not mean Alone, and Unique exists in the Combination of our meanings, not in the Information I share, or the Data of the Facts.
To quote Placebo's "Post Blue":
It's Between you and Me.
I ask you to ask me things, to request knowledge of me, because that's how I know how to show you that I trust you. That I want you to know me.
Interpol - [No I in Threesome]--- But that doesn't work so well, does it?
So. A new question, borne of my selfish curiosity, and my desire to Know And Have More Of You:
What is Trust, to you? What does it mean? How does one Show it? Tell it?
What happens when it is broken? Don't give me clichés, just tell me what it is.
My urge is to tell you that I can push whatever buttons you want me to push, but I have to know where they are,
what they are, before I can do that, and I am not a mind-reader. (
Iggy Pop - [I am a Passenger]). But that's... Sociopathic. True, perhaps, but uncomfortable.
I want to know you, for you. I want to know whatever you want me to know, and I want you to know whatever you want to know, of me.
And this is the last we'll speak of this, for a while.
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