Unfocus

Voltaire - [Wall of Pride]--- I lay in bed for ten minutes, this morning, dreaming about contributiung to NPR, before i realised that my alarm had gone off, and was still doing so.

I don't want to be reading the things I should be reading and, worse, I can't make a decision on what I'd rather be reading. I have a copy of Existentialism and Human Emotions, by Sartre sitting in my bag, and i've been reading that, but I got the urge to read Neuromancer, yesterday, so that's in there, too. Now I want to read the new Kahlil Gigran book I bought. Fuck. There is something wrong, in my brain. Speaking of which, I also dreamed in Firefly; something about Jayne, and Hookers.

I need to go eat, and go to work.

Here's your damned Update!

KMFDM - [Ready to Blow]--- Hallowe'en party, here, Saturday. You know that. "I gave you that, on the Sheet!" One cookie.

I'm feeling the effects of autumn, again. Time warpy, powerful, and insecure, all at once. Smoking tastes terrible, and i'm not even trying to quit. I smeel woodsmoke, and leaves, and am extremely happy. (Veruca Salt - [With David Bowie]). I'm having a hard time simply doing the things i need to do, and writing the things i need to write. It's starting to concern me, a little bit. I don't know what to do about it, because asking for advice, which I think will help, never does. No one can tell me anything that I don't already know, in regards to what I'm doing. I want to beat the hell out of something, but I don't have the resources to do that, in the context i would like. Still. I need and want a lot of things. (Yellow Machinegun - [Go Away]). The problem is i'm having a hard time motivating, and kicking my own ass.

I'm scared of graduate school, and the responsibilities i have, currently, to school, work, my family, and my friends. There's nothing I can do about them, without putting them down, and that's really not... something I can deal with.

Hindu Love Gods - [Walking Blues]--- But something's gotta give, right?

Tell me the things about you that scares you the most. Tell me what deep, dark, disgusting things you are seriously afraid of, in you. Don't try to shock or scare me. This isn't about me, and it probably won't work, anyway.

This is about you, right now.

I'm waiting.

{11.40pm:Gorillaz - [Dracula]--- While you're thinking: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051028/ap_on_go_su_co/miers_withdraws }