Not that i mind, but...

What is it with people recommending sushi places to me, recently? It's happened three times, in two days. All different places.

Yes, I like sushi. Very much, in fact, but that's been secondary. The recommendations have been apropos of Nothing. Out of the wild blue sky.

Perhaps time to check on the Necessary...

Things that burn and blow away: "The Trust"

I'm with my mother, and i'm riding around a compressed Atlanta, with downtown streets, and Buckhead streets, and Auburn Avenue streets, all together, as single streets. We're driving, looking to put my car into/get my car out of the shop. I had been riding around with Patrick, before, on MARTA, talking to him about the things that had been, and the way things were becoming. I got off at a station that didn't exist, and walked down several flights of stairs, into the middle of Peachtree Street, near the suntrust building. I mee my mother, and we go into a garage, to get my car. I'm both driving my car, and riding with my mother, to the garage, which is in the basement of the Hyatt. We get into the basement, and park, and it's like the subterranian GSU parking lots, under the main courtyard, but deeper, and the school is also the Hyatt. We get out of the cars, and walk to the office, to find someone who can help, preferably the office manager. The mechanic looks surprised to see us, and simply points, in a silent manner. We go in to see the manager, and he seems very angry to see me, but covers it up with a false cheer. We talk, and my psyche evaluations start, because he's a doctor. I tell him nothing.

I'm back home, and the house is the same, not conglomerated, and i'm sitting down, after having gotten back from the store. While in the store i made a bet, with someone from my Office, that i could make a better video game commercial, and they said that they could. So, at home, watching TV, we see his commercial, and drstrangeal says, "Dude, you should have known better than to bet with Satan." And i laugh, but don't explain anything, because i haven't made my commercial, yet, and that guy from the Office isn't Satan. At this point, Rosie and Devin are around, back and fourth, and everything's starting to feel like spring morning, and my idealised version of "Dead Like Me." Hazy, cool, relaxed, and just starting to get light. They are out in one of their cars, talking, arguing. They end up having sex, at some point, and spending the rest of their time, talking in the car. I look out the door, and think about it, but i realise that i have to get back to school.

I'm in the General Classrooms Building, down at State, and i'm wandering around, feeling relaxed and paranoid, at the same time. I walk down the first hallway to the left, when i walk in, from the courtyard, and i slide, feet first, down the hallway, because it's just been waxed, and i slide to the end of the hallway, and i see my mentor, Agent Graves. He's walking into the classroom, at the end of that hall, the one that should be three floors above us, and he tells me that i can't stop it. That i have to just go, and continue, if i can, but not to stay. He walks in the room, and i see the Head of one of the families of The Trust, and several of his goons, and i know that Graves can take all of them, even if he is old, he can still take them, but i run. I crawl pst the door, and people see me down lown, and i'm running and sliding around corners, into the main hallway, and i see small, silver .44 calibre pistols, in the hands/minds of a few "Students," and i know that they are following me. I duck through the crowd, and into the bathroom, and i listen to them pass. In the bathroom, which is unisex, there's a small girl who pees standing up, and this other middle aged man/woman. I'm in the main part of the bathroom, no longer the foyer, and the girls sees me, finishes, and walks over to me. She looks in my eyes and says "Here. Take this. If you can use it, it will probably help. She hands me metal container, with a mini-blowtorch, and what looks to be an accelerant. I know i can use it burn the place to the ground. We, all three of us, move back into the bathroom foyer, and listen, trying not to make a sound. The goons are fully visible, outside, in full black suits, telling everyone to keep calm, or they'll all die. I listen, and touch the door; it creeks, and they hear it, and come over to it. I send everyone back, so their shadows aren't on the floor, and i jump split onto the wall. The goon, with dreads, is outside, listening, i can hear him breathing, and i'm Not, so he can't hear me. I half wake up.

I'm having a conversation, with the Head of the family, about what he wants, from me. I contemplate burning the whole room of goons, with the accelerant, through one of their cigarettes. He doesn't tell me, but i know they either want to be able to use me, or be able to kill me, and i make it quite clear that they won't be able to do either without more trouble than they could possibly imagine. When i show him how i'll burn the universe down, he simply smiles, and i know that that's what he wants, ultimately. So we stare at each other, for a while. I decide that i'll simply excise him From the universe, if he wants oblivion, so badly. Beginning to burn him, i wake up

If you've never read "100 Bullets," then i would respetfully request that you do so, now. Well, if you like a good spy thirller+, i'd request it. It's much more than that, but that's how it starts. Murder Mystery, spy thriller, conspiracy theory. +More. Anyway, that dream disturbed me, on a number of levels, so i'm going to go get readdy for my day, now.

Later

I miss smoking.

Covenant - [Leviathan]--- As a focus. As a thought process, and as a tool, for other things. I like it, liked it, don't Want to quit, because... well i don't. Petulant. There really isn't anything like the smell of smoke, in your nostrils, just before a clean, cooling summer rain shower. There simply isn't.

Dio - [Strange Highways]--- It's horrible for me. Everyone knows that, and i know that. People don't want me to, and i don't want to want to, for their sake, which is sad. I want for the ability to take in this ash and fire, and tar, and smoke, and turn it into something better, something more pure. Something fueling, and catalysing. That's the mental image i hold, for it, anyway. It is the physical practice that i can do that allows me to focus on its transmutation, of its own sake. Burnt offerings, and rising smells.

I can attribute a meal to myself, and all (call, rather) that my sacrifice, to me. Make that a better... different way of expressing the ideal. But it's not the same. It's not the rhythm, the in and out, and the fire.

But i also know that i'm better than needing an outside device to display my ideals. So, miss it for its symbols and aesthetics, though i may... I can hold off. I can wait until the symbols can re-inforce, without having to Mean the thing. Where i can show it, without the hand-held attachments, and until it doesn't kill me. "The only Socially-acceptable suicide," as Kate put it, last night. Depends on the society you keep, though.

"Geek Love"

Sensurround Stagings' production of Geek Love, tonight was Awesome. Anessa, and Caroline, and Jim and Aileen were all amazing. There was no toning down of anything, at all. anastomosis, i'm looking at you.

They will be in New York, next week. They will be at Dad's Garage, tomorrow, and Sunday. Go. Damn It.

See the play. Or i will do something horrible to your fish. If you don't have fish, i'll buy them for you, make sure you're really attached to them, and then do something horrible to them. And by "fish," i mean Shoes. And by shoes i mean "Pie."

Later