Welcome, one and all. I've been thinking, again, and you know what that means... That's Right! Time, once again, for Uncle Wolven's Thoughts to Make Your Brain Explode!
Tonight's considerations: "Ka is a Wheel."
Of the reasonable amount of things i received, for Christ's Mass, one was The Dark Tower V: The Wolves of the Calla. Now, as some of you may have realised, when i read the Tower, things get a little... clickweave, skitter skitter skitter, in me gulliver, like. And i've realised something... Again. Ka. Not Destiny, not Fate, not the over-ruler of Free Will, soemwhere between all three, and meshing, perfectly, with all ideals of understanding and freedom. Ka is... the binding force. That which drives everything foward. Crisis, Choice, The universe, Perception, Undertanding. All of it. And Ka is a wheel.
Ka turns, and people you thought gone from your life reappear in interesting and disquieting ways. Unless you remember that Ka is a wheel. All things fall on it, in it, around it, as the spokes of it. And Ka reminds you, as long as you remember it. Without Ka, there would be no finding people in circles, as often as we do. It would lack that eerie meaning, we seem to ascribe it, at any rate. And, therefore, the actual meaning. You should know me well enough, by now, to know what i mean, by that. Because our ascribed meanings are the ones that matter. That which we place, and have placed, and reinforced, and that which we, ultimately, and always on our very own, decide is the real and tru way of the world. You dig.
It is this fundamental fact i seem to have surfacingly forgotten, in my desperate search for air and life, above the damn near endless sea into which i've thrown myself, of late. I didn't accept that these things have the underlying meanings we set into motion at the certain choices we make. And so i [was] affected [by] surprise. Anyway, that settled, there are things of which i constantly need to remind myself. Duh.
And another thing. You all know that i am, at current, not as sound in my sciences, as i should be, especially not my bio-chemical sciences, but i'm wondering something. Something that may seem patently obvious, to anyone else, out there. The imbalnaced chemicals which may or may not cause text-book depression... how connected are they to the rest of the chemical factors, which lead to the other strong emotions? I ask, because i've noticed that every depression medication on the market has some form of sexual side-effect. And if i'm wrong there, please let me know. But from what i've seen, there is, always side-effect, even if it is only a "low occurence."
And so... i'm thinking.. as i always do, with these kinds of things.... "At what price?" But, as per usual, maybe i'm being overly dramatic. Eh...
Ka.
I'm going to go read, some more. More GEB: an EGB, this time.
Later.
{12.03am: Here is the perfect day to be in a light-hearted frame of mind, WOLVEN! Sometimes, it feels just great to feel like a child again! Today, you can take a well-deserved break from the seriousness of life. Don't hesitate to let yourself go! A little relaxation will only have minor consequences but will do you a world of good!
I certainly hope so...
{{12.35 am: I can't believe that i fogot the fact that... everyone you meet, you meet for a reason, and to never EVER expect them to be fully gone from your life, as they will always leaver (lever?) reverberations, either in the Flesh, or in the simple (HA! Never "simple") memory of them. That Ka is a Wheel.
That every life you touch and which therefore touches You is forever a part of your Ka, your Khef, and your Centre Being. Even if you sever them from the threads of your life, you... are left with the memories. Across Multiverses and meanings...
The You that is Everything remembers the hollow, where that thread used to be, and the removal of That thread chnaged the position, if only in Fibres, of all the threads near it...
Ripples in a pond.
I know that not everyone sees it that way... But it's how i see it. How it makes sense, to me, and how it's always been for me. And, more importantly, how i've always liked it. And i forgot it... Didn't consciously choose something else. Didn't say "This is the way that makes sense, now..." Simply... forgot... and continued to wonder aloud, and act surprised when things... Fell into place... Unhappily surprised. Otherwise, i wouldn't complain ;)
But, as they say, that's time gone. It's over, and i realised it... Simply another harsh lesson to make me remember to pay more attention to what the fuck i'm doing, in my life, you know?
Didn't mean to take up your time... Christ Mass Revelations. Personal notes...
I've always liked "G".
Dream Well}}}
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