(no subject)

Marilyn Manson - [The Bright Young Things]--- The things you forget, and the things you miss... The things you deny, and t he things you willfully push away. Whatever happened to seeing it all? Saying it all? Never missing a beat or a statement, or the opportunity to be a horrible bastard, if it meant someone heard the truth? What happened to being open, even if tht meant vulnerable? I guess it all went the way of Human Endeavour, at some point, or another...

Hypocritically.

I Apologize. Things have gotten a tad out of hand. Never mind the Bollocks...(Marilyn Manson - [Better Of Two Evils]). Here's the Sex Pistols.

Well... here we go.

Jack Off Jill - [Underjoyed]--- So, i have to ask it, since no one else will: What is with this Groups of People Goin Into a Similar Mental State, At the Same Time, shite? It's not simplyu a matter of then being of similar personalities, because i've seen other shit go down, and none of this happen. This is like an Ambient Malaise, or the Caused affects there-of, waiting, patiently to drop down on some unsuspecting person... People. (Jack Off Jill - [Surgery]). And it's happeneing at the same time. For various reasons, to be sure, but there is this level of Pain, or Upsettness, or Unhappiness, that's happening to Many of the people i know, all right now. This isn't about that, though, because, as i said, they all have their reasons to be in those states.... Damn good ones... And they'll leave them, when they can... My main concern is the anomally (can it even be called taht, anymore?) that causes these shifts to happen in a concentrated period of time. And i don't have the answer.

So, i sit here, thinking about people and their problems and wondering what i can do to help... and my family's in town... They want to do things, this weekend, i'm sure, or they wouldn't have come into town, so soon.... They would have come tomorrow, or Monday... done a Quick thing... But hey, whatever. (Jack Off Jill - [Star No Star]). I love my family, to be sure... But... It feels like that last bit of Freedom you have, before going to Prison. You know that, there, you won't be able to do nearly as many of the things that you enjoy, and that the world will seem much smaller. Sure maybe that's good, and maybe it isn't. The point is, you try to cram as much of your freedom as you can into One Day or One Weekend, before you won't be able to do it again, for a very long time. So that's what i'm trying to do, here... In DC, i won't have a car, or access to one, for a while. I won't have Friends, around. I won't have my own place.

I will have easier access to some people i only rarely see. (Jack Off Jill - [Losing His Touch]). I will have the opportunity to get a car, and drive myself places, from now on. I will have my family, closer to me. For good or ill. I will have free food. I will also still have to pay rent, here, to keep my place. Not bills, only rent. I can't think about this all, right now... I'm going to go smoke... And, i mean, it's not like i'm going to be gone, forever... Right?

Sometimes i worry...

Later

Pattern Recognition.

VNV Nation - [Carbon (instrumental)]--- Got it today. Hardback. I really hope this doesn't spoil anyone's plans for shite to get me, for my birthday, but i needed It. You can understand, can't you? Anyway... AS i was saying, "Picked up Pattern Recognition, today," because it was a Choice between that, Idoru, Two Plays for Voices, The Difference Engine, and the Anniversary edition of Neuromancer. P.R. was New, and it was in Hardback, and i wanted to make Sure i got the hardback... So i got it. I open it up, and what do i see on the First Page, but my very own first name?

Now, i know my name is not exactly Uncommon, and that it's not exactly a Surprise, in a Gibson novel, but it always, always, ALWAYS disturbs me, to see my name in Print. That means that an author took the time to decide on That name, out of all of the others s/he could have used. (Voltaire - [The Night]). Took the time to figure out what name the personality of that character called for... So, now, i'm wondering.... and i'm reading. If you need me, that's where i'll be, for a while. I'll see you kids later..

ta

REmemberance.

Nine Inch Nails - [Hurt]--- Reading the book, just got to a piece that brought me back to a realisation that i had a week, or so, ago. I wonder, now, as i did then, if ever there was a Pre-Homo Sapiens species that looked toward it's own evolution with a thought-out determinacy... (LUXT - [Fiend]). If they understood that they would Change to suit their surroundings, and that those changes would be acopompanied by ideals, and environs that would seem, to them, but perhaps not their children, unfriendly. Because we have that. As much as we may try to stay static, and "preserve a way of life," we know that we will evolve. We understand that there must be Change, to survive.

What does this mean for us, as a species? Is our continual striving only going to lead to a forced Deconstructionism? The feeling that it's all been done before, and that there is nothing we can do, differently? Are we painting orselves into a corner of stagnation, as an after-effect of Trying so damned hard for dynamism? We have cognizance of our Natures, here, and we have nothing that we can actually do about it. Evolution cannot be forced, nor planned for, because Change can come from the most unexpected places imaginable. (Sneaker Pimps - [Becoming X]). In a way, some could say, it would be simpler to simply (sorry) go back to trying to survive, and allowing ourselves to adapt as we may. At this point, we are slowly destroying ourselves, and our immunities, with the "advent" of anti-biotics, and their derrivatives. What ever shall we do.

This is merely a set of random thoughts, brought to you by my annoyance with the world, and the things, in it, that we try to ignore. Taking your thoughts, comments, and suggestions, on line 5.