"Dial 888. The desire to watch TV, no matter what's on it." - Philip K. Dick [This was originally wr

Wumpscut - [Opening the Gates of Hell]--- So, i'm in a bit of an introspective /speculative mood... *chuckles to himself for a bit* Sorry. Like i even need to say it, anymore, recently. Someone, today, told me that they believed i had the potential to change the world, except for one fact: I worry too much. And i think i may. I worry, and don't consider. Or, rather, i worry, prior to considering. Considering is where i get shite done...

Wumpscut - [War]--- So, i need to consider, more, and nort worry, so much. Tomorrow, i go looking for an apartment, and i will find one, tomorrow. One that i like, and that is within my price-range. Not only will i find this, tomorrow, i will be able to get it. Living in the place is the key. And the universe knows the score: If i don't get the things i need, when i actually try for them, "Das ist Kreig." Ach! That reminds me, i have German homework that i need to do.. .and a Business Ethics journal to Start... heheh... Hrrm.. posting German, here, is getting impractical, as the language program won't show the umlauts and estzset's.. Ah well...

Wumpscut - [Wolf]--- i need to remember, in all of my hectic paces, to make some time, tomorrow, or the next day, for writing... I haven't written in nearly a week, and i'm starting to get antsy, again, especially with certain readings i've done, tonight. If i can write a full poem, tomorrow, or a vignette, here, then all should be well. If not, I may need to sit down and write a full short story, at some point, soon, to make up for it...

I feel the Need to write... And i've been feeling a Need to draw, today... A certain picture, inspired by a piece of music... an emaciated figure, missing internal organs, with the flesh and skin of the abdomen (Linkin Park - [By Myself]) nearly touching the spine, and sunken in. The ribs are clearly visible, and the head is tilted to the left, exposing the throat, which is already bloody, and lacking.... *shudder twitch*

Purrrhapsss, on a very real level, there is something very wrong, in my head.... (CruxShadows - [Deception]). But, if so, then there is, too, a wire of a different colour, in all of your casings....Deal with it... I love you for it... *Licks*

Dream Well

"Watch her take the pleasure, from the serpent..."

Ideals

"I honestly don't think it's about control."
(She exhaled smoke, in no particular direction)
"There are certain proclivities, which,
when indulged, cause a pleasurable
reaction..
"Does this make us deviants?
The simple fact that we enjoy these things
which seem to disturb others?
Is that a strong enough case for a claim of "Deviant"?
I think not."
(She shifted, slightly, in her chair, seeming
ill at ease, with her surroundings.
Surely, neither was the line of questioning
calming her troubles.
She put out the cigarette.
Hands in her lap,
she tried again.)

"When we take pleasure, in our activities,
we are satisfying a natural drive,
which lies in everyone:
The desire to be happy.
"We may reach that happiness, in different ways,
or our happiness may impede that,
of those around us,
but, mutually exclusive, or no,
the ends are the same. Whatever meanness it takes,
to get there, right?"

"And these hands...
have delved into the most secret recesses
of the Soul."
(She held up her hands, then,
and as she stared at her fingers,
he thought he glimpsed something dark
and wet.
Her hands went back to her lap.)

(She chuckled to herself,
then, deep, and dark.
It was as if she were seeing her situation,
for the first time,
and had found some horrible irony,
in all of it.)
"In the end..."
(she spoke as if the bitterness would spray,
venom-like, from her tongue.)
"In the end, I just want to get off.
Isn't that what we all
want?
In the end?
Like everyone else, sometimes,
I need another person, to help with that."
(Her wrists were moving, under the table.)
"But sometimes..."
(Her breathing was getting heavier, and her hands,
moving faster.)
"Sometimes i have to do it myself..."

(She closed her eyes, and shuddered,
and was still.
As she was led away, the detective shook his head
marvelling at the woman's ideals.
Beneath the table, she had used the cuffs
to cut open her wrists, and slide her fingers into the hole.)
(c)Damien Williams. All Rights Reserved.

"I am the Shadow at the End of Nothing."

Radiohead - [Kid A]--- My dreams, last night, consisted of fighting against things, behind doors, and being blocked from places. Trying to teach a class on certain things, and being directed, elsewhere. Ogres, and such. (Radiohead - [The National Anthem]). I was in a school in which i had taught before, in dreams, and was on the underside of a bridge and moat system, thing. It was dungeon like, and every time i tried to open a door, something stopped me, but with a "heheh, sorry Sir, but the boss says. Sorry Sir." Fuckers... Everyone's got their jobs to do, yeah, but hell... Deja Vu...

< pout > And i was trying to get something done, last night... i hate being blocked... It damn well better be for a good reason. < /pout > Anyway, still trying to figure out what's causing this miasma of stagnation, and stasis, in regards to metaphysical things. I know that i need to do some art, soon, and that i need to come up with the mental picture of my schedule. But that shouldn't be blocking me, as far as things like energy flows go. Or maybe.. Bah. Inter-connections... If i'm not definite and purposeful in my making them, or re-making them, they'll over-whelm me...

Radiohead - [How to Disappear Completely]--- Have been upping my concentration and memory retention levels, though... And i need food... i need to buy food. I need a place to live... A stable base of operations, as it were... I've probably found a place to live... It seems like a good place... i'll simply have to make it known that i don't want to have to interact with anyone, for as long as it takes me to get my shite together.... It's got a washer and dryer, and it's convenient to school... So now i need a job.. i wonder when i'll be able to actually get a job that interests me, i.e. bookselling, or music-related, based on my qualifications,as a whole, and not simply some stupid application, which is arbitrarily reviewed by someone who has no real sense of what you could bring to a team...

Radiohead - [Treefingers]--- People focus too much on objectivity. When there is complete objectivity, we lose sight of the goal. Same with complete subjectivity... Balance it out, folks.. Quality is the name of the game... But i've gotten very off track, here. See? Subjective.

Radiohead - [Optimistic]--- As i was saying, a stable base of operations will allow me to feel comfortable enough, that i can do all of the things i need to do, without stressing about finding job, house, Lost City of Eldorado, &c. But that seems to be fairly in-hand... Now it's for the job and the car, and i applied at borders (hence the application rant), and i need to fill out some paperwork, at Oglethorpe. When i do that, i've got that Job. Cause i actually talked to the head of on campus security, and he liked me... Well, that and they're despirate... But that's neither here nor there. What got me the job was the talking. And the car thing? Well that's what money's for... Blech...

I hatemoney, sometimes. It makes me want to vomit.... Other than that, i'm off...

Day Dream

STOLEN! Damn i'm bored....

Stolen from Armitage, for the same reasons she stole it.

( Damn That's A Long Fucking Test... Enjoy! ^_^ )