Heheh

i found some songs i wrote, many, many years ago... well, really only about... 3. But they're still neat... i was thinking about posting them, but i thought better of it... If i did that, i'd start posting everything i ever wrote, on here, and that'd get lengthy... i may post one of the songs, at some point, in the future, but for now, i'm happy simply knowing they exist... Much like other things in my life... or some shit like that. Heh.

Did you ever think that, while you know Exactly enough people, the people that you know that you Really want to be around, at a given tyme, are in another State, or side of the country, and that it really, really sucks? At different tymes, i'd like to be around Everyone i know, Some of the People i know, and No One At All that i know. Some tymes, in the 2nd category, the Some are in COMPLETELY different states, and so on.... and it makes me upset. Tonyte was one of those nyte... i wanted to be OUT, more than anything... but i wanted to be out with certain people, who don't live here... sigh... as the French say "C'est La Merde."

Anyway, i'm watching "Se7en." i haven't seen this movie in ages... So Good... i don't know what it is about movies dealing with "Evil," in the Judeo-Christian-Everyday-Societal-Set, but they tend to make me REALLY happy. "Fallen," the "Prophecy" movies, "Se7en," and the list goes on... The truly disturbing ones don't even go at it as "Evil," per se, more along the lines of "This Shit Happens." hell, i'm even writing a movie about it.... and now "Blood, Milk and Sky" is going through my head.... *sigh*.... La....

i'm in one of my Curl-Into-a-Ball-And-Hide-In-My-Room moods... i really don't want to go to class... i know what i want to do with my life. That's not my problem. My problem is what the Hell does it Mean? What impact will i have on the world, in what i want to do, and what the fuck does my four years of College have to do with it? What if i grew wings tomorrow? Where is college on my Value Scale, at that point? College compared to Keeping My Ass Out Of Government Labs? Yeah.. And if i were to suddenly come into all sorts of God-Like Power? Same initial question: Where on the value scale? These aren't what most would consider "likely," but they seriously Could happen... And then there's the mundane concerns of war, Nuclear winter, Plague, Famine, and Pestilential Invisible Locusts. And Death.

These things worry me... i don't know what any of it means, anymore, to anyone.... i want to help people learn... They seem to be doing that rather well, on their own... i dunno. Doop. i like school, don't get me wrong. i just don't see the point in it, right now. Presocratics... Plato, Socrates, The Bhagavad-Gita, Perenialism.... Bah... Show me where and why i have to learn this now, instead of when i feel like it, at my own pace? Stupid school....

i see, in my mind, the perfect college.... a curriculum, given to the students, around certain things. They are told to study these things, as they will, and know them, by the end of the class. They will have tests and papers over the course of the class, and the tests will all have the same questions. You have to answer different questions, each tyme you take the test. That is the test of retention and knowledge... *sigh* There are, of course, bits and pieces of clarification which would need to be made, prior to implementation, but i think that it could work... *sigh* i'm going to go, now. Good Nytes. Good Days. Dream Well

A Simple Cliché, Before Bedtyme...

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

*ragged sigh*

So i'm sitting here at the rec centre at school, reading people's livejournal posts, and you know what i've come to realise? People don't understand people for shit. More to the point, people don't understand Me for shit. But that sounds selfish, so we'll stick with the broad categories, yes? Yes. Now i know what you're thinking: "Big news, Wolven. We've all learned this, on our own, and we've heard it from you, numerous times." Well you're going to hear it again. And again. And again and again, until you people realise that this shit is important and needs to be worked at, not just looked at. So here it is, again, and i hope it Drive the point home:

People don't understand people for shit. We make attemps at understanding, and, as soon as we don't Immediately Succeed, we get frustrated and quit. What is that supposed to accomplish? If you want to know what someone thinks, feels, or knows, ask them. Whatever and however they answer you, especially if it's the Truth, will give you glorious insight, as to who they are. Taking what is given to you and saying, "This isn't what I wanted, and it's too hard to get," isn't going to help anything.

i'm trying to help some people understand me. That's what this LJ is all about. Some people, i can talk to in person. Some people i can't. They get to read this. Remember my post from last nyte? The Cliché? Well, i try to do that, as much as i possibly can. i don't understand why it's so difficult, for some... i don't want to be distant from anyone. i've said this before. And while i may be physically distant from Many of you, what i Mean is that i never want to be mentally or emotionally distant...

Apperantly, a lot of the things i've said and done lately, have caused some people some undue pain, and for that i am sorry. i don't mean for that to happen. i don't know what else to say, here... i guess i'm going to go, now. Good Days. Good Nytes. Dream Well