There's something...

[wolven7]

MSI - [Harry Truman]--- i'm feeling compelled to talk, here, for some reason... I'm also feeling oddly compelled to take those jabs into those soft, fleshy places of the Psyche, where i know it will hurt... (MSI - [Holy Shit]). So, here...

Pathos

We're locked in this tangled
marionette web of Life, and we pull
each others' strings. Should we stop
to consider the pain we cause,
or should we move on, and accept the simple fact
that this is Life?
Are we forever relegated to the Humanistic
modes of pushing, pulling, cutting, tying,
the silvery golden strands that connect us,
one to another? Or is there hope
that we can move on through these boundaries?
We strive for an accepting rebellion,
using our nonsensia as an excuse to live
without knowing, or trying to know, the self.
It cuts us deep, and there are the tears.
We lovehatewantneed and we merge together,
because we can't find our strengths,
Separately. Does this make us better
or worse, for the struggle, the trying,
and the pain?
Perhaps it is true what was said:
We have to believe there's a reason
to keep going,
because if we don't, we won't keep going,
at all. We hurt,
we bleed and we mewl our beige/grey cries of loneliness,
out into the night, and we shun our friends,
and those who care, hoping, with our secret hearts,
that someone will follow.
(c)Damien Williams. All Rights REserved.

MSI - [Kick The Bucket]--- Enjoy. Going to go shower, now. Email, call, contact, if you'd like. I'm sure that things will continue on, in this vein. By which i mean they will go on Existing. Later.

Comments

Facing It

[(Anonymous)]

Face pain. It hurts more.. but it does not linger and consume.
Such is Life. We are what we are.
We live, we hurt, we bleed, we love, we heal.

How many people must I tell this to... how many must I say this to.
How many more people must I watch face the horror of what it means to live as flesh and blood - that those around us of flesh and blood are just as vulnerable to us as we are to them.

Re: Facing It

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Always face it... but this poem is only a small part of Me... I don't like the vulnerability, and i'm much more likely to Show my throat, than to Go for someone else's.

Simply because i'd rather not have to fight. And why can't we all just roll over, show our bellies, and move on? Over-extending a metaphor.. going to go now. You get what i mean.

Re: Facing It

[(Anonymous)]

A cat is safest when exposing its belly. To quote Calvin, "All five pointed ends are facing you."
-Sylphiel

I understand

[atlqueenrai.livejournal.com]

How come everybody who replies on your journal sounds either pissed off and feed up or 12?

Anyway I just wanted to tell you that I feel the same way but opposite, sort-of. I feel like we were all chillin' and all connected, even though we were far apart. Bit for some reason you went against something that I believed you had in you. Once you went against that everything that you had done since, from years ago to now, is questioned.

What makes it worse is not 12 hours before you talk of existentialism and taking responsibility for yourself, and then turn around and without a second thought to the exact opposite, that is why I called you a hypocrite. And I believe that is the main reason why Sarah and I are upset with you.
Hope this didn’t come out bitchy, I do feel the hurt, but it’s something you’ve earned this time.

Re: I understand

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I've accepted, or Tried to accept, the responsibility for Everything i've done. I've accepted, and, when that didn't seem to make a difference, for over two weeks, i moved on. I've tried to make things better, i've tried to at least Work them Out. I started by apologizing, and trying to figure out what, exactly, of my potentially upsetting actions actually had caused people to be upset. I don't see myself as having gone against Anything i've Said myself to be, ever. I see myself as having had something of a lack in control (which was not even that Large of a Lack. One of these days i'd like to hear what every one else thinks Happened that night.), and then trying to make amends.

Sarah and yourself, as you've already named yourselves, don't seem willing to Do that, yet. I haven't acted contrary or opposite to my Being. The only thing i could have done that was More Me was simply Leave My Room. Which, i admit, i should have done, when i initially Thought about it. No sarcasm, just truth.

I'm not saying that i've done nothing wrong, or that i'm Blameless, which seems to be the way everyone thinks i'm putting myself out there. If i was only thiking of myself, and my "Rightness," i don't think i'd have been on the verge of tears over this for a few days. No, i know the things i did, said, and presented. Furthermore, i know Why i did, said, and presented them. I want to know if that's true, all around.

What was it that you believed i had in me, that i've apparently gone against? That's not just a rhetorical question; I honestly want to know that. I am, unfortunately, a human being. I am not infallible, anywhere. I'm going to fuck up. When i do fuck up, all i can hope for is that my friends will understand, and help mkae amends, and move on. But please don't place me on a pedestal, because, sooner or later, i'm going to fall off.

Re: I understand

[(Anonymous)]

(leering death's-head grin)
you ask the impossible, who are doomed to repeat the jockeying, unwilling dance-o'-social-roleplay of your elders...

nah, tha's morbid...but best of luck to you with the pedestal thing.

saigh

[(Anonymous)]

agreed

--JMDC