wolven7 | Who Do We Trust?

Gorillaz - [All Alone (w/ Roots Manuva)]--- The answer sounds obvious before we ask the question, out loud: All of the Above.

But when we ask the question, we get a different set of answers.

Should we surround ourselves with the people who most perfectly match us? Those who are, in themselves, everything we want more to be? (Marilyn Manson - [Tainted Love (Soft Cell Cover)]). Or do we pair ourselves with those people who show us what we lack? The empty space to which we should aspire? Because if we surround ourselves with the people who match us, who show us those parts of ourselves we love the most, then aren't we missing something? (Attrition - [Two Gods ... Are Better Than One]). Aren't we necessarily incomplete?

But if we spend our time with those who show us what we aren't, but what we wish more to be, then don't we ignore our true natures?

Which is best? What ratio of the two?

Should we practice the yoga of the discipline we lack or the one which best suits our nature?

Do we chase our deficiencies and seek to shore them, fill them, strengthen them? Or do we flesh out everything that we are, and become a knowledgeable whole?

We fill different pieces of the lives of those we love, and of those who love us, and that means that we all have within us many different facets (infinitely many, in my estimation, but whatever). This means that we have, within us, an intricate, complex "true" nature, which we must seek to satisfy. (Skinny Puppy - [EmpTe]). We need different people, different situations, and different combinations of things.

I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of having a really important conversation with everyone in my life, while simultaneously feeling like I pissed in everyone's Cheerios, they're all so distant.

I don't know what this is. I don't know if it's anything, or if I just need the pressure to blow, again.

I've realised that part of me doesn't want this pressure off. Part of me wants a catastrophic failure of the release valve so that the whole system blows, and something drastically, completely different has to happen, because of it.

I need a hard left turn; and where I previously wanted it to be of my own choosing, at this point I don't know what the fuck I want it to be, other than different.

Skinny Puppy - [Daddyuwarbash]--- Heh. I had a fortune cookie tell me that I'd enjoy a new experience, this weekend. I haven't had one of those present itself. Except in that every experience is new , because nothing has ever happened before. Everything that's ever happened has only ever happened Now. So... Maybe it just meant whatever moments of enjoyment I find, now, I find in the continual, perpetual newness of Now.

That's something to ponder, isn't it?

I don't know what to ask for, any more, except the courage and will to take the situation in hand and do not only what must be done, but also what I want to do. (Tomahawk - [Narcosis]). And to make those things commensurate, when I can.

I feel unfit for human consumption, but I am loath to be stuck in the house too much longer.

Jarboe - [Burnt]--- I need inhumanity.