I'm about to go take a German Final
Dec. 10th, 2002 02:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7OhGr - [Solow]--- But before i go, off to my doom, i thought i'd let you know something. I Hate it Here. There are so many ups, downs, twists, curves, and loops that there is nothing for me to do, but wait and see what comes next. I've, apparently, lost a friend, due to... I guess i could only call it an uncomfortable situation. If that's not true, then i have no evidence to show me that it's not. I'm being accused of being insincere, and of not meaning what i say, and i'm getting more rabid about My values, and the way I want to be, and be seen. Understood. Whatever.
Every time i think that i've got myself a partner in crime, a little someone who will ride out this fucked up roler coaster with me, i end up doing something that pisses them off, and drives them away, or i give them over to the Fates and the Ages, because i was (of all things) frightened by their sincerity. (OhGr - [Suhleap]). What the hell does that say to you? It says that i'm human, and you know what? I hate being Human. Human beings have the capacity for such integration, understanding, and completion, but they go about it in a way that only serves to confuse them. I have so many Unconfused moments, these days, that when a confusion comes along, it's like something has just decided to kick me, across my eyes and the bridge of my nose. I don't like that. I can get and see Why people do things, and the bits that lead them places, but they still don't make any sense. (OhGr - [Minus]). I don't like that.
So, i've lost, pissed off, and become distant to a great many people, and the people who Are there, or who are attempting to Be there, i'm keeping at a distance. And i'm not complaining about being lonely, anymore. Cause i'm Not lonely... I'm disappointed. There is nothing that i can say that i want, anymore, besides understanding, and someone to not only understand Me, but someone who will understand WITH Me. "Pain. Contact. Backward. Pain... Minus addition is nothing." And we move on.
I appologize for the Rant, here. I didn't mean to go off on this thing... Actually, i did. I meant it, and i was planning to tell you something of my Dreams, besides, but that will have to wait, until Later. (OhGr - [Are You Decent]). Because, right now, i'm all worn out from ranting/bitching, but, before i go, i'll tell you something i learned, last night, in a long conversation that felt Longer: When I'm upset, I don't try to make my self Not upset. I try to fix, destroy, understand, or otherwise Change that/those thing/s which have Made me upset... Great... It's raining.
Later Kids.
Day Dream.
Every time i think that i've got myself a partner in crime, a little someone who will ride out this fucked up roler coaster with me, i end up doing something that pisses them off, and drives them away, or i give them over to the Fates and the Ages, because i was (of all things) frightened by their sincerity. (OhGr - [Suhleap]). What the hell does that say to you? It says that i'm human, and you know what? I hate being Human. Human beings have the capacity for such integration, understanding, and completion, but they go about it in a way that only serves to confuse them. I have so many Unconfused moments, these days, that when a confusion comes along, it's like something has just decided to kick me, across my eyes and the bridge of my nose. I don't like that. I can get and see Why people do things, and the bits that lead them places, but they still don't make any sense. (OhGr - [Minus]). I don't like that.
So, i've lost, pissed off, and become distant to a great many people, and the people who Are there, or who are attempting to Be there, i'm keeping at a distance. And i'm not complaining about being lonely, anymore. Cause i'm Not lonely... I'm disappointed. There is nothing that i can say that i want, anymore, besides understanding, and someone to not only understand Me, but someone who will understand WITH Me. "Pain. Contact. Backward. Pain... Minus addition is nothing." And we move on.
I appologize for the Rant, here. I didn't mean to go off on this thing... Actually, i did. I meant it, and i was planning to tell you something of my Dreams, besides, but that will have to wait, until Later. (OhGr - [Are You Decent]). Because, right now, i'm all worn out from ranting/bitching, but, before i go, i'll tell you something i learned, last night, in a long conversation that felt Longer: When I'm upset, I don't try to make my self Not upset. I try to fix, destroy, understand, or otherwise Change that/those thing/s which have Made me upset... Great... It's raining.
Later Kids.
Day Dream.
no subject
Date: 2002-12-10 04:42 pm (UTC)-sister anonymous
I refuse
Slow Going...
Partner in crime?
'Cause i could handle that second one...
-Sylphiel
^_ _^
| . _ . |
Re: Partner in crime?
Date: 2002-12-10 08:05 pm (UTC)eh
Date: 2002-12-11 05:52 am (UTC)--JMDC
ps. see the test wasnt so bad now was it? :-D
Re: eh
Date: 2002-12-11 01:49 pm (UTC)