Poly People in The News

[wolven7]

The idea of polyamoury is starting seriously to make its way into mainstream media: 'First came traditional marriage. Then, gay marriage. Now, there's a movement combining both—simultaneously. Abby Ellin visits the next frontier of nuptials: the "triad."'

David Bowie - [The Man Who Sold the World]--- And I know that there's some strange terminology, there, and a lot of conflating the polyamorous with the neo-pagan, but that's, unfortunately, how these things work. In regards to the terms, I know poly people who would never even use the "Triad" terminology, and I know people who would find even the terms in the article "too traditionally restrictive."

In regards to the "weird lifestyle" bullshit, this is ...unfortunately how it goes. Like any other "new" thing of which the media gets ahold, there are different levels and iterations of the practice, more than are mentioned in this article. The mainstream learns about a thing and then finds some of the most extreme positions in both opposition and support, then there are the scares ("Are Polyamourous Professors Proctoring YOUR Child's Papers?!"), and then people shut up and recognise that as long as no one is "indoctrinating" children, everyone's fine.

Or, more simply “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” - Mohandis Gandhi

Cole Porter& Shirley Horn - [Love for Sale]--- So there's that.

In other news, ask me anything: http://formspring.me/Wolven

Comments

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

just FYI: I don't think you look like Chris Rock. I really don't know where people get that idea, other than you're both skinny?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

It's in the facial structure and facial hair and it usually only happens when my hair gets too long. Which is another reason I like to keep it short.

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

Hmm looking at pics of him (cuz your answer got me all "wha?" curious) I can sorta see the facial hair thing because when a man grows it out, he pretty much obscures most of his face and expression. The problem I have with it is that your eyes are very large and round whereas he has almond-shaped eyes. That's strikingly obvious. But you also have smaller chin and more prominent cheekbones. So even with facial hair you look different to me. I dunno.. I get fascinated by faces so its certainly not the first or last time I've heard a friend looked like someone that made me go "wha?"

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

also, his forehead is way longer. youve got a unibrow too. But you're both handsome so that's got to count for something.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

And Thank you.

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

Ghandi neglected to include "then they label you"

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think that goes right between Laugh and Fight. And then lingers a bit after Win.

[prosewitch.livejournal.com]

First, there's actually a blog called Polyamory in the News. I recommend checking it out.

I agree with you, that this article is not too bad in most regards. I do know some poly folks who use the term triad to refer to themselves, but I also know other poly folks who don't use the term. And yeah, it's unfortunate how many of the people discussed were made out to be "also into all this woo-woo stuff like other silly baby boomers looking for meaning in their lives," but go figure. Maybe the article's author had some issues they were working through? ;p

I'm still waiting for the scares to hit academia. As my blogging over at MySexProfessor has been focusing on recently, there are a LOT of scares in academia right now, not just job-related: zomg! a professor is transgender! zomg, a high school teacher writing erotica! If you ask me, I think a lot of Americans are freaking out about the future (with good reason), and projecting it onto their kids and their education.

So... yeah. I am blogging about a lot of these issues, and trying to promote tolerance. We're well beyond the stage where alternative sexualities get ignored, but I think we're far from acceptance.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've read Polyamory in the News. I think you pointed it out to me during the last big case in Canada.

You and the others at My Sex Professor are doing a lot of good work, raising issue awareness, and you especially in doing so in the academic realm. It's precisely the kind of work of which there will need to be more, going forward, in order for people to realise that they're talking about friends, family, neighbours, and not some "freaks" "out there, somewhere."

So yeah, I think acceptance is a ways off, but not as far, relative to some of the other "scares" that have been experienced in the past.

[prosewitch.livejournal.com]

Thank you, and thanks for the signal boost!

And you're right... our lack of acceptance is not as extreme as past intolerance. Yes, there is still systematic violence against people who are "different," but we're not rounding them up by the cartful to burn them at stake or push them through sham courts or whatever. Still, humanizing the sexual other has a long way to come.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Any time!

And yeah, I think you're right. That's why we keep at it :)

[catvincent.livejournal.com]

Hi, I'm Cat and I've been in a triad (and used the term) for fifteen years...

Always hilarious when the trad news media run with this... but I'm glad that the idea is getting more mindshare.
Because, honestly... the day-to-day of poly may be more complicated (in sheer logistic terms: like the piece said, a triad means 4 simultaneous relationships - those between each member and then the whole thing) but it's just ordinary life with more people around.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

it's just ordinary life with more people around.

You know, that's what I've always thought, in regards to that. Communication, interaction, openness, honesty, all still (more) necessary. But, having never been in the situation, I wouldn't know for sure, so it's good to hear to opinion of someone In Situ, as it were.