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wolven7I'm scared of letting go of anything, I am loath to not be in control, to not constantly seek to steer the course of my development. Which means that this is precisely the thing that I need to do.
"Become that which frightens you." Make the imp of the perverse my bitch, because if I'm scared of it, it has the most power over me. This is what "Fuck It Delete It" is about, and this is what my deep-structure reformatting has been and will continue to be about. I need to let go. To stop struggling, and just let what is be what is, and accept that things will change when they can and will change.
You see, once you've gotten through the initial Fuck It Delete It stages, the process of Reformatting doesn't have to be about Erasing linkages and meanings, so much as redefining said from "necessary" to "contingent" states and then making sure that that contingency/context can be manually overridden, by say a killswitch or a hard-reset. Be willing to let go all of what was there, and to allow what remains to be fluid, changeable.
My main problem, thus far, has been the inability to see people I like, love, who are like me, whatever, as themselves. I have gotten so invested in the idea of those "like me," which is a rare gem, as to have dived in so far, so fast, that i've done a disservice to the ways in which they are not me. I have expected things of people that, had I been paying best attention, i would have realised are not in their natures. If you must expect anything of anyone-- and I don't recommend it-- always expect people only to be who and what they are. That way you'll never be disappointed and only ever pleasantly surprised.
It is easiest and hardest to burn down all lines before this point. To erradicate the ideas and associations of all that went before, and let the ashes be the base for the ink you'll make to draw new lines. Easiest because it is all-at-once. Everything goes. Hardest because Everything Goes. Do the hard thing, in all situations. Allow everything you know and believe to go up and flames, and be willing and able to redraw the connections of what is directly in front of you, as needed.
You are this flexible. You are this capable. I am always me. I am never not the architect of my self, because even in letting go, I am letting go. I have chosen this path, and will make the actions that result from it.
Death informs us about the nature of our lives and endeavors, because no beginning has meaning without the understanding of an end, but a middle is a middle is a middle is a middle forever. All Moments Are One Moment. Think about a perfect sphere, but remove all limit, shape, and extension. Every point and position is as good as any other, as potent and as infinite... But You have to Start Somewhere. In this way, perspective and recognition of difference are the generative forces of the universe.
In the end, it breaks down like this: The Future is a mirage. The Past is a conflagration. All you have is right now. All Time Is One Time. And even though that is the case, it's crucial that you rememeber this: this one time is also all times. Every where, every when, every what and how and why is engulfed in the flames of the crucible of your becoming, shattered and ashen and sacrificed to the Now, and they are all still available to you, because you exist, right now, and can use them, remake them, redefine them, however you need, in order to become, in this moment, this moment, this moment, this moment what you need to be.
Yes, I am Heraclitus and Zeno, all in one, today. Fire, Variance, and Paradox.
I am still in the process of deep reformatting. A new toolset is being uploaded, new code structures are being implemented. We are under heavy deconstruction. Normal operations will never resume, because there was never any such thing as "Normal Operations," but something a bit more... Something, will start up, again, here, soon.
Until then, remember that fire gives light and heat and safety, from the appropriate distance, and please, pardon our dust and ashes and loud bangy noises.
"Become that which frightens you." Make the imp of the perverse my bitch, because if I'm scared of it, it has the most power over me. This is what "Fuck It Delete It" is about, and this is what my deep-structure reformatting has been and will continue to be about. I need to let go. To stop struggling, and just let what is be what is, and accept that things will change when they can and will change.
You see, once you've gotten through the initial Fuck It Delete It stages, the process of Reformatting doesn't have to be about Erasing linkages and meanings, so much as redefining said from "necessary" to "contingent" states and then making sure that that contingency/context can be manually overridden, by say a killswitch or a hard-reset. Be willing to let go all of what was there, and to allow what remains to be fluid, changeable.
My main problem, thus far, has been the inability to see people I like, love, who are like me, whatever, as themselves. I have gotten so invested in the idea of those "like me," which is a rare gem, as to have dived in so far, so fast, that i've done a disservice to the ways in which they are not me. I have expected things of people that, had I been paying best attention, i would have realised are not in their natures. If you must expect anything of anyone-- and I don't recommend it-- always expect people only to be who and what they are. That way you'll never be disappointed and only ever pleasantly surprised.
It is easiest and hardest to burn down all lines before this point. To erradicate the ideas and associations of all that went before, and let the ashes be the base for the ink you'll make to draw new lines. Easiest because it is all-at-once. Everything goes. Hardest because Everything Goes. Do the hard thing, in all situations. Allow everything you know and believe to go up and flames, and be willing and able to redraw the connections of what is directly in front of you, as needed.
You are this flexible. You are this capable. I am always me. I am never not the architect of my self, because even in letting go, I am letting go. I have chosen this path, and will make the actions that result from it.
Death informs us about the nature of our lives and endeavors, because no beginning has meaning without the understanding of an end, but a middle is a middle is a middle is a middle forever. All Moments Are One Moment. Think about a perfect sphere, but remove all limit, shape, and extension. Every point and position is as good as any other, as potent and as infinite... But You have to Start Somewhere. In this way, perspective and recognition of difference are the generative forces of the universe.
In the end, it breaks down like this: The Future is a mirage. The Past is a conflagration. All you have is right now. All Time Is One Time. And even though that is the case, it's crucial that you rememeber this: this one time is also all times. Every where, every when, every what and how and why is engulfed in the flames of the crucible of your becoming, shattered and ashen and sacrificed to the Now, and they are all still available to you, because you exist, right now, and can use them, remake them, redefine them, however you need, in order to become, in this moment, this moment, this moment, this moment what you need to be.
Yes, I am Heraclitus and Zeno, all in one, today. Fire, Variance, and Paradox.
I am still in the process of deep reformatting. A new toolset is being uploaded, new code structures are being implemented. We are under heavy deconstruction. Normal operations will never resume, because there was never any such thing as "Normal Operations," but something a bit more... Something, will start up, again, here, soon.
Until then, remember that fire gives light and heat and safety, from the appropriate distance, and please, pardon our dust and ashes and loud bangy noises.
