No Shibboleths.

[wolven7]

Today. I am tired of oblique, silent spaces. I'm tired of having to read people just right, and learn the secret handshake to your innermost thoughts. I don't want the badge of honour, or the trial by fire. I don't need to know you think i'm worthy to know what I asked and to get what I want.

No jargon. No Shibboleth. No cryptographic key. Just fucking communicate.

Maybe tomorrow I won't feel this way, but for today, let's just open our mouths and use our grown up words.

Dragon*Con, book signings, interpersonal communications, all of it. Just fucking Talk

What do you want and what do you need?

Comments

[kittenspeaks.livejournal.com]

I want that same communication.
However, I think I want it with people who don't even want to communicate with themselves.
But that raises the question of why the hell do they want me around since, clearly in personal attribute and by chosen trade, communication is the essence of my being.
It raises the question more of, if I can see that they don't want to communicate, why am I still sitting here and listening?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Because communication and understanding is like a fucking drug and, once you're hooked, any hint of it pulls you in, over and over.

[opalblack.livejournal.com]

I need to escape. I need to get out of Brisbane for ever, out of Australia entire. I want to take my cats with me. To do that I need money and patience and accurate information and correct paperwork.
I want to cuddle up with Y and watch sealab. I want to walk away from everything and never look back. I want the shops to open and this ridiculous five day public holiday to be over so I can buy some fucking booze, because I want to get really drunk so I don't have to want to talk about clan business or at least so I stop caring that I can't or shouldn't or however you want to slice it.
I need breakfast.

What do you want? What do you need?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

You're the second person today to ask me that.

I want people to communicate with me, in the endeavors on which we're working. Even if that's just "Being People Together."

I want communication and understanding, and to get that I need people to understand what they want, and to communicate what they need.

[raidingparty.livejournal.com]

Time. And... time again.
:)

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Always useful.

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

but it seems like half the time I communicate with you, you get mad at me. Call me crazy but I don't think that's fun for anyone. Or helpful.

Two things

[wolven.livejournal.com]

1) I've explained why I think that tends to be and regardless of whether you agree,

2) I would say that would be the place where the communication breaks down, on either or both sides. When the attempt to understand be understood falls into frustration.

Re: Two things

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

sometimes, yes, I'm sure that's true and we both know it. But sometimes, I really think you just don't like what I have to say and you're so much as said so. I get a feeling right now you don't like me saying this either.

Re: Two things

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

which leads me to realize something, so now I have to ask "is it communication, pure communication, you really want,or connection?" because they aren't the same thing.

Re: Two things

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Both.

Re: Two things

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

I assume you mean at the same time or as one?

Re: Two things

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I think that all effective communication leads to connection, though not necessarily agreement, so i guess at the same time?

Re: Two things

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

hmm true but that connection isn't always a welcome one, to be sure. Are you really pleading for ANY connection, or a certain type?

Re: Two things

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

I guess my only "point" that maybe I AM poking at (I only now thought of this) is that your pleas for communication are never very specific and at least in my experience communication and connection come in so many flavors and colors and personalities et al that its impossible to understand what it is you want. Especially when I try to find out and just succeed in irritating you.

Re: Two things

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That's fair. It's hard to define the exact shape of what I'm looking for. But this, right here? You attempting to say what you think and Why you think it, why you feel what you feel, and my attempting to respond in kind? This is the heart of it.

Re: Two things

[wolven.livejournal.com]

One born of a certain mutuality of desires or drives. Openness, willingness to understand not just how we differ, but That we do (and vice versa). And some of these are things I need to cultivate in myself, but, at base: Mutual recognition.

Re: Two things

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Right now? Yeah, you're right, because I've had a pretty shitty couple of weeks.

So let's put a pin in this, shall we?

Re: Two things

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

LOL

I wasn't trying to poke you, although you often seem to think that. I am actually being somewhat exasperated myself because your pleas for communication are touching and make me feel wistful most of the time. That does tend to make me want to question you though, because for the life of me I really can't seem to grasp what it is you want that you are not getting. So I ask.

Re: Two things

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That's fair. I think you kind of hit it, or at least started to, in the thread, above.