Communication is my ruling passion

[wolven7]

I've had occassion to sleep on everything that happened this weekend, and to that end, I just want to say the following:

This weekend was awesome.

In regards to the subject line, what I mean by "Communication is my ruling passion" is that, in all things, I think that the ability and willingness to communicate are key to the successful completion of any endeavour. Anything you do, everything you have to prepare is contingent on your being able to communicate, if only to yourself, exactly what it is that you intend.

Even if your intention is "Whatever happens, Happens," you have to be clear and perfect in your communication of your dedication to that ideal.

Look at any point in your life where something has gone wrong between you and another person. Now, frame that in terms of a lack of or an improper engagement in the communicative act and see if you can't use that framework to find a useful solution.

Everything I do comes down to communication. I want more of it, and I want it all the time, and I find that everything in my life feels better, smoother, more Right, when all the people involved are communicating with each other.

I need to go to work, so I'll talk to you all later.

Comments

[lupagreenwolf.livejournal.com]

Basically, yeah. It's how everything else happens. Without communication, even with the self, everything breaks down.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I'm often surprised by how much of a revelation this is for people. As if they've never really thought about communication being integral, let alone a primary component. So odd.

[satans-muse.livejournal.com]

I’m one of those people for which this was a revelation.

For me, the reasons I was ignorant in the past are many and varied. I have always fought for the underdog, but never myself. When it comes to standing up for myself, I just couldn’t get the words out.
Poor relationship choices with men who manipulated this rather unfortunate character trait of mine resulted in me literally unable to confront my current boyfriend in the early stages of our relationship when he was still sharing his bed with his female friends and wearing bite marks from their play fights.

Thankfully, this current boyfriend of mine knew the importance of communication and unlike the others, never told me that it didn’t matter what they’d done to make me feel that way, it was my responsibility to deal with and control my feelings. This boyfriend told me that I don’t ever have to justify my feelings, I just need to share them, so that we both know what’s happening. He took responsibility for the fact that his actions were what had upset me, and he took the time to calmly (not defensively) explain his stance on the situation.

I soon learned to use my voice and communicate my negative feelings, as well as the positive ones I have always been able to rattle off to anyone who would listen. He never ran from the things I accused him of. He never lied to avoid getting in trouble, and through his honesty, I learned to trust again. He didn’t have a problem sharing his bed with his female friends because they were his friends, nothing else. Just because they have girlbits doesn’t make them different to his male friends.

As our relationship progressed, I communicated that it wasn’t a jealousy thing, it was a respect thing, and eventually he came to realise that having friends sleep in his bed wasn’t as important as ensuring his girlfriend’s happiness.

And so, in a million little ways, I have realised just how essential effective communication is. I’ve applied this to every facet of my life and have been astounded by the things I’ve learned and the things I’ve been able to teach others, all by sharing thoughts, feelings and experiences.

I've also realised that there are some people with whom I will never be able to communicate because they hear nothing but their own voice, and a couple of select words you use. On those people, I no longer waste my time.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Everything about your reply, here, is Perfect. Thank you for sharing that with me.

And I think that, for almost everyone, effective communication comes as a revelation at Some point, especially if they've only ever been in relationships without it. It makes the first relationship with it ring clear as a bell; choirs of angels and all that.

But all subsequent interactions are so much better for it.

[jonathankorman.livejournal.com]

Amen, brother.

These days I am struggling a great deal with how I should respond to folks whose patterns are all built to corrode communication.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That very idea makes my brain hurt. I wish you the best of luck.