Flow like water. Like Frozen, Brittle Water

[wolven7]

This is the first trip in a long time where I've been this stressed out, before the trip. I'm twitchy, jittery, and every time some aspect of the trip comes up-- snacks, packing, presents-- I'm put on edge.

And I'm pretty sure it's because I'm broke as hell. I am, in fact, so shit poor that I have to wait until I know that I'll have my check, before I can even make the attempt to drive up north, before I'll even have the money to put gas in the car. I can't buy presents for anyone, not even my newborn niece, and people keep asking me what I want.

Thank you kindly, but what I want is a million fucking dollars, or at least the recognition of my knowledge and abilities to be so wide-spread as to be able to trade on them for work and monetary gain. So, in effect, the only thing I want for the Holidays is for you to keep telling people how awesome I am, and mean it.

Fuck. I thought the passing of the Solstice was supposed to mark Brighter.

I need to go to work. I'm hoping that I can drag myself out of this, or that the day will pleasantly surprise me, somehow.

Comments

[vonfaustus.livejournal.com]

It doesn't get brighter until Walpurgis, buddy. Right now we're sitting around the time of Epiphany, which prior to Christianization represented the primal return to chaos and the "original terrors" (which aren't always terrible) being let loose in the world.

The riptide won't really end - if you take it to be a seasonal feel - until around January 17th (The Feast of Fools under the Gregorian calendar), when the Doors of Janus finally close and the world begins to thaw the fuck out.

Also, I dig the monetary anxieties. I only managed to buy presents for my wife this year. I didn't bother to ask for anything - really ("maybe a Green Lantern hoodie?") - because I don't even have the cash to make the people I want smile. Ah, well, 'eh?

(mental hugs)

[raidingparty.livejournal.com]

You are excellent.