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wolven7So. We want those we love to be happy, to be healthy, to flourish, to thrive, in all the vague and nebulous senses of those terms, right? We want the best for those about whom we care. But there is a potential problem, in this equation, on which we soon hit when we start to stratch the surface of this wanting, and that problem is of conceptualisation. What I mean, here, is what is it that we want for our loved ones, when we say that we want them to be happy? Are we wanting only what they think they want? Are we wanting them to encounter any- and everything that could possibly make them happy? Are we wanting them to find happiness in their secret wants and desires?
All of these have problems, but it's the latter that interests me most, becasue it's the latter on which I'm most often tempted to act. When you know someone-- either because they directly confide in you, or because you have known each other for long enough to know when they want a thing-- you may be confronted with the desire to push the desired situation toward them, to nudge and shape things, in this way.
From my own personal experience, I should not do these things. Not directly, at any rate. Like everything I do, it's often "Too Far, Too Fast," for other people, and that causes the thing they wanted to break down and turn sour. Nudges for some are shoves to others.
So I talk to people, find out what they want, get them to find out what they want, and keep talking to them, until they walk themselves there. It's much more fulfilling and lasting for them, that way.
So. What do you want?
All of these have problems, but it's the latter that interests me most, becasue it's the latter on which I'm most often tempted to act. When you know someone-- either because they directly confide in you, or because you have known each other for long enough to know when they want a thing-- you may be confronted with the desire to push the desired situation toward them, to nudge and shape things, in this way.
From my own personal experience, I should not do these things. Not directly, at any rate. Like everything I do, it's often "Too Far, Too Fast," for other people, and that causes the thing they wanted to break down and turn sour. Nudges for some are shoves to others.
So I talk to people, find out what they want, get them to find out what they want, and keep talking to them, until they walk themselves there. It's much more fulfilling and lasting for them, that way.
So. What do you want?
