So... Apparently I'm a good person

[wolven7]

Tonight, as I walked past the SunTrust ATM in the Publix Grocery, I heard the kind of urgent beeping that means "Hey! Don't Forget Your Thing!" in ATM speak, so I stopped, backed up, and reached down to grab someone's ATM card, so I could take it to customer service, only instead of a card I cound a hundred dollars.

Yeah.

So, I stood there, with lord_of_smoking and I looked around in silence, knowing I couldn't just ask people if they lost a hundred dollars, because EVERYONE LOST A HUNDRED DOLLARS, and then I looked down, again, and saw a receipt, and on that receipt were the last four digits of the card of the person who lost a hundred dollars.

So it goes: Customer service, blah blah blah, wait ten minutes, blah blah blah, guy finally shows up, blah blah blah, apparently the machine malfunctioned and looked like it was going to just give him his card, with no money, blah blah blah, give him his money, blah blah blah, very grateful, blah blah blah. Moving on.

So, I went, got bananas, got a box of black beans and rice, and then, at the urging of the cashier who facilitated the whole thing, I played the lottery.

But, just in case I don't win, I didn't win, so I need to figure out two things: 1) What is the qualitative value of returning $100, to a man with $700 in his account (Yes, I looked)? Because it's different from that of returning the same amount to someone with $7,000, and different still from that of returning the same amount to someone with $70.

2) Based on the above qualitative assesment, what is an act of equivalent evil I can do, to balance it out.

Because, tonight, I found $100, and returned it to its rightful owner. And now I feel dirty

Comments

[opalblack.livejournal.com]

I have some wild-caught fairies you can rip the wings off if it will help you feel better?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Nah... Wait... do those grow back?

[opalblack.livejournal.com]

I think you have to clap your hands or something.

[momentai.livejournal.com]

I disagree that there is any difference in someone losing the money based on how much money they have in the account after the lost.

Why exactly do you feel dirty? I understand it's a personal thing, but I'd appreciate an answer anyway.

Did you feel compelled to return it b/c you also saw the reciept? Did you feel compelled to return it at all or was their a true question in your mind as to find the "owner" or not?

Personally, I would have kept the money because random cash has no owner as far as I am concerned. The presence of a reciept would make me hesitate b/c that then implies a specific person losing the wad at a specific moment, but I wouldn't have bothered examining it since there are usually tons of reciepts strewn about ATMs and this was 100$.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry that you disagree, but the fact remains that $100 means different things to different people, based on different factors, and one of those factors is how much money they have en total. As I know nothing else about this person other than the amount of money in his account, that is the only factor through which i can make my determination.

$100 in the ATM. Receipt Also IN the ATM. Receipt says Withdrawal of $100.

[karma-aster.livejournal.com]

Personally, I'd just shrug and let the karma work itself out and go on quietly Doing The Right Thing, but I'll also admit that I have a pretty strong tendency towards the whole sweetness and light thing, so it may not work for everybody.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That's always a possibility... irksome though it is.

[beard.livejournal.com]

hmmmm, I think candy from a baby is suitably karmically dickish enough to balance that scale. Literally though you should swindle it right out of the kid's hand. Tell him its tainted or poisoned or something.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

HAH! Haven't done something like that in forever.

[drgnsyr.livejournal.com]

Candy is dangerous for babies! They should not have it. Their little baby teeth are prone to rotting and most candies they will just choke on! Babies should not be allowed candy and any baby with candy should have it removed.

Now, taking candy from a toddler - that's just mean.

[raoin.livejournal.com]

after some not inconsiderable thought on the matter i think you should do the following:

take some superglue and a shiney new quarter. superglue the quarter to the cement just outside your place of work, on the walkway - far enough from the door that they dont block it, but close enough to the windows that you can watch people try to pick up that fucking quarter all day long.

it'll bring a smile to your face and your frustrate people all day which is pretty evil.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I like this one. And it would amuse the hell out of me.

And then i wouldn't have to explain my art to Warren, either.

[raoin.livejournal.com]

*nods* should i come by after work and take a look?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Don't have work, today, so it won't get done, until tomorrow.

[kitsuchan.livejournal.com]

I like this one, because it's evil without being cruel.

[wyldkyss.livejournal.com]

This idea is a great balancer to the original deed.

[techiecl.livejournal.com]

Be a devil and convince someone else to perform the equivalent of negative-karma

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure I have an Apple somewhere I can give you to offer someone.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

We'd need to go to a park, so I could sit under a tree.