Form. Spring. Me: Anonymity
Apr. 17th, 2010 02:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7So, I think I'm having a FormSpring.me problem. You see, one of you has been asking anonymous questions in what seemed to be a provocative and deliberately confrontational vein, and I'm annoyed with this, already. So, to whomever you are, hello and what the fuck?
While it is certain that I may have asked for a challenging of comfort zones, I did that within a context of known individuals. I did this because there are things that make me "uncomfortable," and then there are things which make me "actively hostile." The difference, here, is that the former are unexplored psychological markers with which I am willing to grapple, with the help of friends, confidants, people I know and trust. The latter, however, are things which I have explored, which sources I do understand, and are things which provoke, in me, the desire to rend and destroy.
Within the latter category are things like these anonymous exchanges. Why do they bug me? Because my entire adolesence was spent dealing with this and the repercussions of this. Because they are indicative of someone trying to lord knowledge and power over someone else-- "I know you, but you don't know me, Moohoohaha" kind of thing. Because they're the kind of thing which, down the line, turn into "Trust Issues," which I have, in spades. But that's neither here, nor there.
My point is this: If you want to anonymously question, that's fine; I only left the "anonymous posting" option on, so you wouldn't have to sign up for an account, but whatever. But when my answers are hostile and mistrustful, it's because my expectation is that anonymity is only an opening gambit. I'm sorry if I didn't make these positions clear enough, at the outset of this experiment, but, really, what good does it do Anyone to not know who wants to know what from them, and why, in the long term? One or two questions, I can understand, but... *sigh*
Anyway. Long Story Short: Anonymous people acting like they know me triggers paranoia and mistrust, because of years of experience with that type of behaviour being used to try to humilate me or otherwise upset my life. An unknown person using a term of reference ("attention whore") which, without the context of my knowing that you know me, could be seen as one intended to harm or ridicule puts me in a directly hostile place. Because, in my experience, more often than not, that harm has been the intent.
But limitations are meant to be overcome. Hostility meant to be worked through. Whomever you are, I still count it dickish, but *shrug*. That's life, right? Sometimes anonymous people make uncomfortably accurate assessments of our character and behaviour. That they undertake to do it says many things about them, but how we react says many more thing about us.
The Experiment Continues. Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Wolven
Good night.
While it is certain that I may have asked for a challenging of comfort zones, I did that within a context of known individuals. I did this because there are things that make me "uncomfortable," and then there are things which make me "actively hostile." The difference, here, is that the former are unexplored psychological markers with which I am willing to grapple, with the help of friends, confidants, people I know and trust. The latter, however, are things which I have explored, which sources I do understand, and are things which provoke, in me, the desire to rend and destroy.
Within the latter category are things like these anonymous exchanges. Why do they bug me? Because my entire adolesence was spent dealing with this and the repercussions of this. Because they are indicative of someone trying to lord knowledge and power over someone else-- "I know you, but you don't know me, Moohoohaha" kind of thing. Because they're the kind of thing which, down the line, turn into "Trust Issues," which I have, in spades. But that's neither here, nor there.
My point is this: If you want to anonymously question, that's fine; I only left the "anonymous posting" option on, so you wouldn't have to sign up for an account, but whatever. But when my answers are hostile and mistrustful, it's because my expectation is that anonymity is only an opening gambit. I'm sorry if I didn't make these positions clear enough, at the outset of this experiment, but, really, what good does it do Anyone to not know who wants to know what from them, and why, in the long term? One or two questions, I can understand, but... *sigh*
Anyway. Long Story Short: Anonymous people acting like they know me triggers paranoia and mistrust, because of years of experience with that type of behaviour being used to try to humilate me or otherwise upset my life. An unknown person using a term of reference ("attention whore") which, without the context of my knowing that you know me, could be seen as one intended to harm or ridicule puts me in a directly hostile place. Because, in my experience, more often than not, that harm has been the intent.
But limitations are meant to be overcome. Hostility meant to be worked through. Whomever you are, I still count it dickish, but *shrug*. That's life, right? Sometimes anonymous people make uncomfortably accurate assessments of our character and behaviour. That they undertake to do it says many things about them, but how we react says many more thing about us.
The Experiment Continues. Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Wolven
Good night.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-04-17 02:43 pm (UTC)Aside from the intial name calling and trying to cover it up, I also don't think they were necessarily a dick, but it was pretty rude. I personally consider dickish behavior as habitual, and they did change their tune, even if it was possibily disingenious. But anyway, that's just me.
Whatever their intent here, I wanted to point out that you do seem to leap to conclusions based solely on how you feel about a particular issue or situation and never really see around that thing. You tend to let it influence your answers and positions subjectively, and I think that was their point in the last 2 comments.
So, maybe they are just being an ass b/c its the Internet or maybe they did really mean no harm, but I think their syntax is annoying you and that added to your past problems, as referenced in this post, is what mainly pisses you off and therefore you're not willing to engage them objectively.
Or all three of us, and anyone following along, could be completely wrong. Like Wolverine Origins.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-17 03:19 pm (UTC)As to the rest, Wolverine Origins is CANON, and you just need to deal with it. Fo' Sho'.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-17 04:01 pm (UTC)My Questions
Date: 2010-04-17 06:13 pm (UTC)If I ask you questions, there or elsewhere, I'll be sure that the question is either broad enough that it doesn't matter who asked it or specific enough that you know it's me asking it.
Or I'll sign it.
Re: My Questions
Date: 2010-04-18 03:05 am (UTC)