"I Want Fire (Give it To Me)"
Apr. 8th, 2010 06:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7KMFDM - [Craze]--- So, last night, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
unknownbinaries asked a really important question, about my fire, my anger, my ability to turn utter Seething Hatred into deep, righteous, world-altering Wrath. That question was "What happened to that?" And my answer is disappointing me, in the extreme, because the answer is that there is just so much shit out there, so much bullshit and so much apathy in the face of adversity, that it just kind of... dissipated.
Tom Waits - [The Part You Throw Away]--- The anger that was turned into something about disappointment, a detailing of the ways we could all be better, delivered with a bitter chuckle, and a smirk. My anger, the thing that used to fuel me, that used to push me forward, cause me to become more and better, at every turn, has become a hot stone, in my heart, an uncomfortable protuberance, digging into my diaphragm, through the back of my solar plexus. Jaded cynicism has begun to replace anything useful or transformative, and that is, quite frankly, a bullshit position. (Hirasawa Susumu - [Mediational Field]). It's a position which causes me to fume over the lack of change, in others, rather than creating and fostering what change I can, as often as I can. It's a position which leaves me not being certain as to how to proceed in the face of rejection, when that answer should be clear. It's a position which leaves me compromised, internally, ethically, personally. And it is a position which, as I have come to recognise it, has forced me to be more honest with myself and those around me as to what it is that I want, so I have to thank it, for that, at least.
Finding the people with whom I want to change the world is easy. It doesn't require long surveys, or psychological profiles, or anything like that. It requires the drive and the fire to work together to tackle problems we see as needing change, the focus to keep to it, the flexibility to adapt to the styles and needs of new people, and a willingness to call and be called on our bullshit, should the need arise. (KMFDM - [Urban Monkey Warfare]). There's nothing else, to it, at the outset. Not really. The details can come much later.
When faced with rejection, I should discover the qualities that others found lacking, analyse them, analyse those who did the rejecting, and make the decision as to whether I believe that those qualities need to be changed, or whether those people were fucking morons. If the former, then i set about changing them, integrating the new skills, amending my presenation of Self to Other, and reincorporating those facets to each other. If the latter, then Fuck Them, and move on. It's not hard to deal with rejection, once we get past the initial shock of not being universally understood and accepted as Fucking Awesome.
Queens of the Stone Age - [A Song for the Deaf]--- My ethics, my internal barometer of action and reaction should be variable and adaptable, around a still, clear centre. There has to be a line, over which i will not cross, without thought, deliberation, serious questioning, long debate. I have to have a Limitation, because I have to have something to Overcome. No ethical situation, no matter of integrity and action is completely black and white, true and false. There is no one situation where I can say that i will not perform X action, because i would not be being true to myself, or that I will Always make Y decision, because it is the thing that makes me who i am. Who I am changes, what I am changes, and the thing that does the changing, the preferences and memories and experiences that lead me to do the changing? That is who and what i am.
Placebo - [Because I Want You]--- I Have to be honest with myself. No more circuitous, circumlocutions of intention, beating about bushes when i can simply say what I want, when I can talk and create and do. I want to change the world. I want to write, well. I want to be heard and understood, on a large scale. I want people to want to hear what i have to say. I want to have something worth hearing, worth waiting for, worth wanting. I want communication, I want sharing, I want trust, and a home in the heart. I want the fear of miscommunication to cease crippling my efforts.
65daysofstatic - [Doesn't Understand You]--- Here: Human Advancement Technologies Management and Consulting. This is my goal. It's the name and the description of what I want to be doing, in the long term. It means learning and educational technologies, strategies, and techniques. It means adaptive environmental technologies, like geohacking, ecological repair strategies, terraforming. It means neurolinguistic programming applications in the fields of perception and the ways in which people manipulate each other's perceptions. It means religion, politics, language, psychological symbols, sensory manipulation, magic, and philosophy. It means investigating and developing the science of longevity and coupling it with various philosophies concerning quality of life. (Miles Davis - [Budo (Hallucination) (Live)]). It means investigating all interpretations of quantum mechanics, and dealing with the potential problems of those interpretations. It means a lot to me.
I mustn't be afraid to leave a mark, to take the responsibility for my actions, to drag the universe kicking and screaming toward the Better Thing I think it can be. I have the hubris, the arrogance, the unmittigated (but completely measured and deeply considered) gall to believe that I have the right to fix the world. (Suzanne Vega - [In Liverpool]). Fuck: to believe that it needs fixing in the first place, and that I know what "Wrong" with it. We all think we know what's wrong. We all think we know how to fix it. I'm determined to take a step further, and actually start, and that start starts with this imprecation: Let's you and me change the world. Let's fix the broken things, clean the air and water we've dirtied, make filthy the concepts we hold as pure, educate, corrupt, and Alter the Fabric of the Reality we all inhabit.
Covenant - [Bullet]---Tell me something you want to change, and tell me the change you want to see done. Detail the problem, and then detail what the world looks like when it's fixed. Then we'll get into the "how."
I am disappointed in this world, and the apathy and ability to fall into useless whinning about the state of things. I am angry at the lack of progress, the tribal feudalisms, the people more willing to fight each other and go to war than to help each other be healthy, happy, and with full bellies. I'm angry at the people who have acted so poorly as to make the suspicion of Government control something that is, quite honestly, healthy and normal.
Power only corrupts, because there are those who are made to think they are powerless. (Rasputina - [Mayfly]). You are not powerless. You aren't voiceless, or incapable, or stupid, or lazy, or unwilling. You are better than that. We're all better than that.
Pony up and pay to ride, and by "Pay" i mean "build the fucking horse."
LUXT - [Proof]--- Let's go.
unknownbinaries asked a really important question, about my fire, my anger, my ability to turn utter Seething Hatred into deep, righteous, world-altering Wrath. That question was "What happened to that?" And my answer is disappointing me, in the extreme, because the answer is that there is just so much shit out there, so much bullshit and so much apathy in the face of adversity, that it just kind of... dissipated.Tom Waits - [The Part You Throw Away]--- The anger that was turned into something about disappointment, a detailing of the ways we could all be better, delivered with a bitter chuckle, and a smirk. My anger, the thing that used to fuel me, that used to push me forward, cause me to become more and better, at every turn, has become a hot stone, in my heart, an uncomfortable protuberance, digging into my diaphragm, through the back of my solar plexus. Jaded cynicism has begun to replace anything useful or transformative, and that is, quite frankly, a bullshit position. (Hirasawa Susumu - [Mediational Field]). It's a position which causes me to fume over the lack of change, in others, rather than creating and fostering what change I can, as often as I can. It's a position which leaves me not being certain as to how to proceed in the face of rejection, when that answer should be clear. It's a position which leaves me compromised, internally, ethically, personally. And it is a position which, as I have come to recognise it, has forced me to be more honest with myself and those around me as to what it is that I want, so I have to thank it, for that, at least.
Finding the people with whom I want to change the world is easy. It doesn't require long surveys, or psychological profiles, or anything like that. It requires the drive and the fire to work together to tackle problems we see as needing change, the focus to keep to it, the flexibility to adapt to the styles and needs of new people, and a willingness to call and be called on our bullshit, should the need arise. (KMFDM - [Urban Monkey Warfare]). There's nothing else, to it, at the outset. Not really. The details can come much later.
When faced with rejection, I should discover the qualities that others found lacking, analyse them, analyse those who did the rejecting, and make the decision as to whether I believe that those qualities need to be changed, or whether those people were fucking morons. If the former, then i set about changing them, integrating the new skills, amending my presenation of Self to Other, and reincorporating those facets to each other. If the latter, then Fuck Them, and move on. It's not hard to deal with rejection, once we get past the initial shock of not being universally understood and accepted as Fucking Awesome.
Queens of the Stone Age - [A Song for the Deaf]--- My ethics, my internal barometer of action and reaction should be variable and adaptable, around a still, clear centre. There has to be a line, over which i will not cross, without thought, deliberation, serious questioning, long debate. I have to have a Limitation, because I have to have something to Overcome. No ethical situation, no matter of integrity and action is completely black and white, true and false. There is no one situation where I can say that i will not perform X action, because i would not be being true to myself, or that I will Always make Y decision, because it is the thing that makes me who i am. Who I am changes, what I am changes, and the thing that does the changing, the preferences and memories and experiences that lead me to do the changing? That is who and what i am.
Placebo - [Because I Want You]--- I Have to be honest with myself. No more circuitous, circumlocutions of intention, beating about bushes when i can simply say what I want, when I can talk and create and do. I want to change the world. I want to write, well. I want to be heard and understood, on a large scale. I want people to want to hear what i have to say. I want to have something worth hearing, worth waiting for, worth wanting. I want communication, I want sharing, I want trust, and a home in the heart. I want the fear of miscommunication to cease crippling my efforts.
65daysofstatic - [Doesn't Understand You]--- Here: Human Advancement Technologies Management and Consulting. This is my goal. It's the name and the description of what I want to be doing, in the long term. It means learning and educational technologies, strategies, and techniques. It means adaptive environmental technologies, like geohacking, ecological repair strategies, terraforming. It means neurolinguistic programming applications in the fields of perception and the ways in which people manipulate each other's perceptions. It means religion, politics, language, psychological symbols, sensory manipulation, magic, and philosophy. It means investigating and developing the science of longevity and coupling it with various philosophies concerning quality of life. (Miles Davis - [Budo (Hallucination) (Live)]). It means investigating all interpretations of quantum mechanics, and dealing with the potential problems of those interpretations. It means a lot to me.
I mustn't be afraid to leave a mark, to take the responsibility for my actions, to drag the universe kicking and screaming toward the Better Thing I think it can be. I have the hubris, the arrogance, the unmittigated (but completely measured and deeply considered) gall to believe that I have the right to fix the world. (Suzanne Vega - [In Liverpool]). Fuck: to believe that it needs fixing in the first place, and that I know what "Wrong" with it. We all think we know what's wrong. We all think we know how to fix it. I'm determined to take a step further, and actually start, and that start starts with this imprecation: Let's you and me change the world. Let's fix the broken things, clean the air and water we've dirtied, make filthy the concepts we hold as pure, educate, corrupt, and Alter the Fabric of the Reality we all inhabit.
Covenant - [Bullet]---Tell me something you want to change, and tell me the change you want to see done. Detail the problem, and then detail what the world looks like when it's fixed. Then we'll get into the "how."
I am disappointed in this world, and the apathy and ability to fall into useless whinning about the state of things. I am angry at the lack of progress, the tribal feudalisms, the people more willing to fight each other and go to war than to help each other be healthy, happy, and with full bellies. I'm angry at the people who have acted so poorly as to make the suspicion of Government control something that is, quite honestly, healthy and normal.
Power only corrupts, because there are those who are made to think they are powerless. (Rasputina - [Mayfly]). You are not powerless. You aren't voiceless, or incapable, or stupid, or lazy, or unwilling. You are better than that. We're all better than that.
Pony up and pay to ride, and by "Pay" i mean "build the fucking horse."
LUXT - [Proof]--- Let's go.
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no subject
Date: 2010-04-10 05:32 am (UTC)We change the world by existing in it. I mean, how'd you start that? 'Your smile moves the moon.', and all that. And then there's being that change you want to see, and all of that. Leading by example and changing by contagion, at once, I think Gandhi inadvertently defined and/or created my fascination with (self-)transformation as a tool, with that quote.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-10 05:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-10 09:41 pm (UTC)Regarding your question:
a) love that song, and,
b) answering will take a bit more time. It's a priority, so I want to make sure I've sought out my answers thoroughly, as well as used the best words and turns of phrase to communicate same.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-12 05:51 pm (UTC)Show the work, keep firing people up, show them what we can have and do, when we put our minds to it.
And I eagerly await what you have to say.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-13 10:05 pm (UTC)I'm definitely interested in this, have downloaded the Google Developer's Kit, will be seeing what kind of collaborative engineering we can work.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-13 11:20 pm (UTC)Good good.