Good night, Book.
Feb. 11th, 2009 02:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7Work on the book is at a stage of looking back over old writings, taking notes, re-arranging things... It's not an easy thing, by any means. I have to take it one step at a time.
It's not easy becase I'm trying to find that line between the burden of coming up with all new material-- new ways to say the things I have said, already, a few times-- and the danger of getting bogged down in the old ways I said things. If I don't think of new ways to say things, I'll be extremely tempted to just let it lay. If I try to think of new ways to say things, I'll be so busy doing that, that I'll possibly miss something I said, a log time ago, which could have a useful place.
I know that it would be easy for you to say, at this point, "Find The Line Between Them; Do Both."
Know that it would be just as easy for me to hit you in the face, really hard.
I think-- and I shudder, even as I think it-- I think that i'm going to have to re-read or at least Skim all 6,276 (soon to be 6,277) entries, in this thing. To make sure I don't miss anything. The danger, there, is in becoming despondently nostalgic. Losing the thread of the work in a sense of "What was I thinking?" or "Where is that passion?"
One step at a time.
I have a schema. I have a plan. I have a cogent frame of reference for my thoughts.
I have to go to bed, before I stay up all night, thinking about this, and over-processing.
There are open seats in the conference room of the dream theater, if you want to help me sub-process this, for a few hours.
It's not easy becase I'm trying to find that line between the burden of coming up with all new material-- new ways to say the things I have said, already, a few times-- and the danger of getting bogged down in the old ways I said things. If I don't think of new ways to say things, I'll be extremely tempted to just let it lay. If I try to think of new ways to say things, I'll be so busy doing that, that I'll possibly miss something I said, a log time ago, which could have a useful place.
I know that it would be easy for you to say, at this point, "Find The Line Between Them; Do Both."
Know that it would be just as easy for me to hit you in the face, really hard.
I think-- and I shudder, even as I think it-- I think that i'm going to have to re-read or at least Skim all 6,276 (soon to be 6,277) entries, in this thing. To make sure I don't miss anything. The danger, there, is in becoming despondently nostalgic. Losing the thread of the work in a sense of "What was I thinking?" or "Where is that passion?"
One step at a time.
I have a schema. I have a plan. I have a cogent frame of reference for my thoughts.
I have to go to bed, before I stay up all night, thinking about this, and over-processing.
There are open seats in the conference room of the dream theater, if you want to help me sub-process this, for a few hours.
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-11 08:40 pm (UTC)My novel/autobiographical.. thing.. is about my drinking problem and really, where do you begin?
I can break it down to many different causes and go all the way back to when I began hiding bottles of Jack Daniels under my bed when I was thirteen, but there is just so much to tell - what is important and what isn't?
I also struggle with the fact that some of the reasons behind it all getting worse were due to the actions of my then-boyfriend, mark. His actions were due to his childhood - I don't want to slag him off in any way. What he did was wrong and I won't deny that (nor would he), but his reasons behind it make it understandable, if not acceptable. I want people to know that - but his childhood is not my story to tell.
Like you, I think I need to go back and read all of my entries, take all of my writing and put it into little piles of yes/no/maybe/chicken?
I wish you the very very best of luck. I know how much you're going to need it!