Sense and Experience
Jul. 15th, 2008 12:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7Every birthday past twenty-one years has been, for me a situational instance where I start to feel like I'm going to be expected to act a certain way, now, when, in my head, I'm the same person I was, in high school, with a bit more sense and experience, under my belt.
A lot of shit has happened, this past year. More, it seems, than in the few years previous. That may be because I graduated, though.
11.45: Exactly 4 hours, 59 mintes until my birth time.
I worry that I haven't done enough. That I'm not prepared for the amount I'm going to have to do. And that's not a plea for "you can do it"s. I know I can do it. Every stage of my life, I've had that moment of "can I do this?" and maybe even moments of "I can't fucking do this." But I did it. I Do it. I do it All. A. L. L.
My birthdays... don't get the hoopla they once had. I don't dedicate all the mead drunk at a party to me, anymore. I don't break out the food spreadable food products and the Twister board. I tend to go to the Vortex, on an off night, and have a nice, quiet meal with a few friends.
Victims of Science - [The Device Has Been Modified]--- Tomorrow is Trivia. Trivia is not Quiet. Trivia is where everyone knows my fucking Name. Trivia is where I am beloved by all.
I don't think we're going to have enough table space, tomorrow.
I've not offered you a choice of birthday presents, this year, as I've done in the past. No prophecy, no poems, no divination, no Truth. I'm saving my energy, collecting my thoughts, and asking a favour:
Say one thing.
Portishead - [The Rip]--- If you are reading this, if your eyes actually cross it, at any point before 4.44am, July Sixteenth, then say something here. A true thing. A prophetic thing. Tap into the darkest core of you and say whatever you find, there.
That would be the best present Ever.
I am always conflicted, on my birthday, whether to celebrate at midnight, or at 0444. One is conventional, the other appropriate...
Well, either way, at this point...
A lot of shit has happened, this past year. More, it seems, than in the few years previous. That may be because I graduated, though.
11.45: Exactly 4 hours, 59 mintes until my birth time.
I worry that I haven't done enough. That I'm not prepared for the amount I'm going to have to do. And that's not a plea for "you can do it"s. I know I can do it. Every stage of my life, I've had that moment of "can I do this?" and maybe even moments of "I can't fucking do this." But I did it. I Do it. I do it All. A. L. L.
My birthdays... don't get the hoopla they once had. I don't dedicate all the mead drunk at a party to me, anymore. I don't break out the food spreadable food products and the Twister board. I tend to go to the Vortex, on an off night, and have a nice, quiet meal with a few friends.
Victims of Science - [The Device Has Been Modified]--- Tomorrow is Trivia. Trivia is not Quiet. Trivia is where everyone knows my fucking Name. Trivia is where I am beloved by all.
I don't think we're going to have enough table space, tomorrow.
I've not offered you a choice of birthday presents, this year, as I've done in the past. No prophecy, no poems, no divination, no Truth. I'm saving my energy, collecting my thoughts, and asking a favour:
Say one thing.
Portishead - [The Rip]--- If you are reading this, if your eyes actually cross it, at any point before 4.44am, July Sixteenth, then say something here. A true thing. A prophetic thing. Tap into the darkest core of you and say whatever you find, there.
That would be the best present Ever.
I am always conflicted, on my birthday, whether to celebrate at midnight, or at 0444. One is conventional, the other appropriate...
Well, either way, at this point...
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no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 04:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 04:46 am (UTC)You'll just have to make it up to me, when you've had some rest.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 04:53 am (UTC)The world is not going to end in the next 5 years. The world is not going to end in the next 15 years. Beyond that it gets hazy.
The world may change. It may not be recognizable. But it will not END. And to clearify, I don:t mean the planet Earth as the world. I mean the world, what I count as my World, and everything in it. People included. We will not die just because the Aztecs said so. Something else spreads our doom (I wanted to say brings there instead of spreads, but it didn:t come out). It:s a slow rot, and it comes, but we have time. It can be averted, but the method is clouded--I can:t see the way how right now. The way lies somewhere between the masses, the Aware, and the Outside (Elders, Gods, the like), but I can:t see what needs to be done.
That kinda hurt. I don:t do that enough. I need to use that more, the muscle seems tight, I think I may have gotten a cramp . . .
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 04:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 05:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 05:46 am (UTC)favorite fortune cookie ever.
Date: 2008-07-15 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 07:25 pm (UTC)Today has sort of sucked, so anything true I could say would probably suck. So, um, I hope your day is better than mine?
no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 07:29 pm (UTC)All the true prophetic things I know are about ME
Date: 2008-07-15 10:34 pm (UTC)The only thing I am comfortable saying for you is:
Anything you want to accomplish can be accomplished in two steps:
1. decide to do it
2. do it
Seriously. Different tasks require different approaches, but the trick is in the deciding, not in the doing.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-16 04:30 pm (UTC)Corollary is that we can take them out when they're in the wrong place. Rant to follow.